DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend invited me to attend his company's black-tie affair, but there is one problem: I am tattooed. I have a black sleeve on my right arm and some ink on my chest. I do not know how his company feels about women with tattoos, but I really want to go to support my boyfriend. What is the proper attire for black-tie events? -- Tasteful ink, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR TASTEFUL INK: Talk to your boyfriend about his company, and tell him your concerns. Ask him if any of his co-workers, particularly women, have tattoos. Ask him what he has noticed in general. If tattoos are the norm, yours may not be a big surprise to anyone. If his work environment is somewhat conservative and your tats are not, you may want to look for camouflaging techniques that will ease you into his world.

Since you wisely believe that being modest is the best way to go, you can shop for an outfit that covers your tattoos to the best of your ability. For example, black tie tends to mean a long dress -- an evening gown -- for a woman to wear with heels. You can even wear a strapless dress if that suits you, but add a cardigan or a dressy jacket to go over it. Many evening dresses are sold with covers for the shoulders, so this should be easy to find. As far as tattoos on your chest, you can look for a dress with a higher collar that either covers completely or mostly where the tattoos are most prominent.

Ultimately, you have to feel comfortable in your own skin as you support your boyfriend. You may not be able to hide your tats completely, but reducing their prominence at this formal occasion is a smart choice. This does not mean, by the way, that you will need to hide them forever from these people.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a senior in high school, and I want to ask a girl who I like to be my date to the prom. I do not want to embarrass myself, because she may say no. How can I make sure she would be interested in me and attending the prom as my guest? -- Patiently Waiting, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR PATIENTLY WAITING: You are experiencing the classic jitters of anyone who is in this position. The stakes feel high, and you do not want to be embarrassed by possible rejection. What you can do is begin a conversation with the girl in question. Phrase your invitation such that you ask her if she has already made plans to go to the prom, because you would very much like to invite her to be your date. In this way, you state clearly what your desire is as you also give her an out. If she has already accepted an invitation or even if she does not want accept yours, she has a comfortable way of declining. But remember: She might say yes! She may have been waiting for you to ask.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I paid $15,000 for our wedding reception, and we invited 150 guests. We were very excited because everyone confirmed, but 25 guests ended up not attending. A lot of money was spent on our reception, and I would like to know if we could get our money back from the guests who did not attend the reception? -- Our Missing Guests, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR OUR MISSING GUESTS: I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible waste of money. The whole point of an RSVP to a wedding reception -- or any other formal event, for that matter -- is to get a head count so that you can be prepared to serve your guests and care for them. While it is common, though rude, for a few guests to be no-shows at a wedding, for so many to not come made the blow that much more difficult for you to bear, I'm sure.

Still, it would not be appropriate for you to ask your absentee guests to cough up their dinner money. You budgeted for those plates, and you have to pay for them. If and when you do hear from these missing guests, you should ask them why they ended up not coming and why they didn't let you know. Don't call them up to ask. Just have the conversation when you next communicate with them and the moment seems right. You can explain how disappointing it was not to have them celebrate with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, and everything is going really well. There is just one problem: his mother. She is cold to me and just does not like me. I have made several efforts to get to know her, and she rebuffs me every time. Moreover, she's totally overbearing and tries to insert herself in our relationship. I told my boyfriend how I feel, but he claims she's just being protective. How can I move forward with my boyfriend when his mother is a huge roadblock? -- Cinderella, Boston

DEAR CINDERELLA: While a year may seem like an eternity to you, it is actually not that long. Before you give up on your boyfriend and his mother, exercise some patience. Decide that you are going to get to know her and build a respectful bond. You may even want to take her out to lunch and let her know how important it is to you that you develop a respectful, loving rapport with her. Ask your boyfriend to support you by standing by your side in this endeavor and also by telling you stories about his youth. What is his relationship like with his mother? How has she behaved with previous girlfriends? Figure out what you can expect from her. Then give yourself a timeline of at least one more year where you attempt to cultivate a positive relationship with her. If you two remain hostile, you should then revisit if you want to stay with a man whose mother rejects you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been slow to participate in any social media activity. I have not joined any websites because I don't feel comfortable with them. Plus, I figure I am too old to be doing what the kids are doing. Anyway, I learned the other day that someone -- I don't know who -- made a Facebook page with my face and name on it and started inviting people to be my friend, only it wasn't me. This person clearly knows me because he invited quite a few people I know personally to "friend" him. I learned from one of the people who thought it was suspicious that I would have made a Facebook page. Long story short, he has now accumulated hundreds of Facebook friends as me. I can't access the page because it wasn't made by me. I don't know what to do. I feel so violated. I haven't been able to reach the person to shut it down. Is it possible that this person can get away with identity theft like this? Can I stop it? -- Violated, Westchester, New York

DEAR VIOLATED: You are right that this is a form of identity theft. You have every right to feel bad about it. The good news is that you can do something about it. You can contact Facebook directly in writing and explain your situation. Provide proof of your identity and an explanation of what happened in detail. Ask for the page to be taken down. Alert your actual friends who you know have "friended" this imposter. If for any reason Facebook does not respond within a few days' time or at all, contact your local police to ask for support.

You might want to sign up for the most popular social media sites and register your name, even if you never use it. In this way, you can ward off having others claim your identity ahead of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have noticed my good friend drifting away from me. She is always nice to me in school and says we'll hang out over the weekend, but when I text her for plans, she doesn't respond until late at night, if at all. I don't know what caused this change in her. I feel sad because I haven't treated her any differently. I'm scared to talk to her about it because I don't want her to see me as too needy. Do I try to save our friendship, or is it not worth it? -- Excluded, Portland, Oregon

Dear Excluded: It is reasonable for you to ask her directly what is going on. Fishing for answers can appear needy, but if you can find her at school and have a private, face-to-face conversation with her, you may be able to get a response. Ask her what happened and why she no longer wants to hang out with you. If she pretends like it's nothing, point out that you know she has been avoiding you, and if that's her choice now, so be it. But you wanted to check in before stepping back. If she refuses to answer or otherwise makes it clear that she is not going to remain close to you, step back. As much as it hurts, that will be your sign to move on.