DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I paid $15,000 for our wedding reception, and we invited 150 guests. We were very excited because everyone confirmed, but 25 guests ended up not attending. A lot of money was spent on our reception, and I would like to know if we could get our money back from the guests who did not attend the reception? -- Our Missing Guests, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR OUR MISSING GUESTS: I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible waste of money. The whole point of an RSVP to a wedding reception -- or any other formal event, for that matter -- is to get a head count so that you can be prepared to serve your guests and care for them. While it is common, though rude, for a few guests to be no-shows at a wedding, for so many to not come made the blow that much more difficult for you to bear, I'm sure.

Still, it would not be appropriate for you to ask your absentee guests to cough up their dinner money. You budgeted for those plates, and you have to pay for them. If and when you do hear from these missing guests, you should ask them why they ended up not coming and why they didn't let you know. Don't call them up to ask. Just have the conversation when you next communicate with them and the moment seems right. You can explain how disappointing it was not to have them celebrate with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, and everything is going really well. There is just one problem: his mother. She is cold to me and just does not like me. I have made several efforts to get to know her, and she rebuffs me every time. Moreover, she's totally overbearing and tries to insert herself in our relationship. I told my boyfriend how I feel, but he claims she's just being protective. How can I move forward with my boyfriend when his mother is a huge roadblock? -- Cinderella, Boston

DEAR CINDERELLA: While a year may seem like an eternity to you, it is actually not that long. Before you give up on your boyfriend and his mother, exercise some patience. Decide that you are going to get to know her and build a respectful bond. You may even want to take her out to lunch and let her know how important it is to you that you develop a respectful, loving rapport with her. Ask your boyfriend to support you by standing by your side in this endeavor and also by telling you stories about his youth. What is his relationship like with his mother? How has she behaved with previous girlfriends? Figure out what you can expect from her. Then give yourself a timeline of at least one more year where you attempt to cultivate a positive relationship with her. If you two remain hostile, you should then revisit if you want to stay with a man whose mother rejects you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been slow to participate in any social media activity. I have not joined any websites because I don't feel comfortable with them. Plus, I figure I am too old to be doing what the kids are doing. Anyway, I learned the other day that someone -- I don't know who -- made a Facebook page with my face and name on it and started inviting people to be my friend, only it wasn't me. This person clearly knows me because he invited quite a few people I know personally to "friend" him. I learned from one of the people who thought it was suspicious that I would have made a Facebook page. Long story short, he has now accumulated hundreds of Facebook friends as me. I can't access the page because it wasn't made by me. I don't know what to do. I feel so violated. I haven't been able to reach the person to shut it down. Is it possible that this person can get away with identity theft like this? Can I stop it? -- Violated, Westchester, New York

DEAR VIOLATED: You are right that this is a form of identity theft. You have every right to feel bad about it. The good news is that you can do something about it. You can contact Facebook directly in writing and explain your situation. Provide proof of your identity and an explanation of what happened in detail. Ask for the page to be taken down. Alert your actual friends who you know have "friended" this imposter. If for any reason Facebook does not respond within a few days' time or at all, contact your local police to ask for support.

You might want to sign up for the most popular social media sites and register your name, even if you never use it. In this way, you can ward off having others claim your identity ahead of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have noticed my good friend drifting away from me. She is always nice to me in school and says we'll hang out over the weekend, but when I text her for plans, she doesn't respond until late at night, if at all. I don't know what caused this change in her. I feel sad because I haven't treated her any differently. I'm scared to talk to her about it because I don't want her to see me as too needy. Do I try to save our friendship, or is it not worth it? -- Excluded, Portland, Oregon

Dear Excluded: It is reasonable for you to ask her directly what is going on. Fishing for answers can appear needy, but if you can find her at school and have a private, face-to-face conversation with her, you may be able to get a response. Ask her what happened and why she no longer wants to hang out with you. If she pretends like it's nothing, point out that you know she has been avoiding you, and if that's her choice now, so be it. But you wanted to check in before stepping back. If she refuses to answer or otherwise makes it clear that she is not going to remain close to you, step back. As much as it hurts, that will be your sign to move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got an email with an invitation for an event that sounds eerily like an event that I have been planning. The organizer is a woman I know, and I'm almost certain that I shared my idea with her a few months ago. Never mind the fact that I haven't gotten my act together to make my event happen, but she is the last person I would have imagined to steal my idea. Now, here's my predicament: I didn't copyright the party plan. I don't think I have legal legs to stand on, but I really do want to tell this woman how disappointed I am that she would steal my idea. Do you think I should say something or just move on? -- Late to the Party, New York City

DEAR LATE TO THE PARTY: Your story proves something that is common wisdom -- keep your ideas to yourself until you manifest them. Obviously, you may want to talk to a small think tank of folks you trust, but it is easy for someone else to bite off of a good idea that is in the air. It is quite possible that this woman may not even remember your initial idea. It is possible that she did not get the idea from you, either. It's uncanny how multiple people can ride a trend at the very same time, often without knowing each other at all.

That said, if you honestly believe you told this woman about your idea, you can contact her and let her know that you are concerned that she borrowed from your idea. The best you will likely get is an apology. You can consult an attorney, but without some type of legal documentation that proves that this idea started as your intellectual property, it is unlikely that you will be able to wrestle back control.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Prom is in three weeks, and I still do not have a date. I am really stressed and upset about this, especially because all of my other friends have dates. My friends have been trying to help me figure out who to go with, but the process has been a disaster. Every person who I think could be a possible date already has one. I am stuck, and I do not want to go to prom alone. My friends are getting annoyed at me because I cannot think of anyone else, but they don't understand how I feel. Would it be better to go to prom alone or with a total stranger? -- Frustrated, Los Angeles

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Do one more search for potential dates, including any fun neighbors or family members. If you still come up short, consider going alone or identifying other students at your school who are dateless and inviting them to go with you as a group. This usually works best when the stag party is part of the same friend group.