DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been slow to participate in any social media activity. I have not joined any websites because I don't feel comfortable with them. Plus, I figure I am too old to be doing what the kids are doing. Anyway, I learned the other day that someone -- I don't know who -- made a Facebook page with my face and name on it and started inviting people to be my friend, only it wasn't me. This person clearly knows me because he invited quite a few people I know personally to "friend" him. I learned from one of the people who thought it was suspicious that I would have made a Facebook page. Long story short, he has now accumulated hundreds of Facebook friends as me. I can't access the page because it wasn't made by me. I don't know what to do. I feel so violated. I haven't been able to reach the person to shut it down. Is it possible that this person can get away with identity theft like this? Can I stop it? -- Violated, Westchester, New York

DEAR VIOLATED: You are right that this is a form of identity theft. You have every right to feel bad about it. The good news is that you can do something about it. You can contact Facebook directly in writing and explain your situation. Provide proof of your identity and an explanation of what happened in detail. Ask for the page to be taken down. Alert your actual friends who you know have "friended" this imposter. If for any reason Facebook does not respond within a few days' time or at all, contact your local police to ask for support.

You might want to sign up for the most popular social media sites and register your name, even if you never use it. In this way, you can ward off having others claim your identity ahead of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have noticed my good friend drifting away from me. She is always nice to me in school and says we'll hang out over the weekend, but when I text her for plans, she doesn't respond until late at night, if at all. I don't know what caused this change in her. I feel sad because I haven't treated her any differently. I'm scared to talk to her about it because I don't want her to see me as too needy. Do I try to save our friendship, or is it not worth it? -- Excluded, Portland, Oregon

Dear Excluded: It is reasonable for you to ask her directly what is going on. Fishing for answers can appear needy, but if you can find her at school and have a private, face-to-face conversation with her, you may be able to get a response. Ask her what happened and why she no longer wants to hang out with you. If she pretends like it's nothing, point out that you know she has been avoiding you, and if that's her choice now, so be it. But you wanted to check in before stepping back. If she refuses to answer or otherwise makes it clear that she is not going to remain close to you, step back. As much as it hurts, that will be your sign to move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got an email with an invitation for an event that sounds eerily like an event that I have been planning. The organizer is a woman I know, and I'm almost certain that I shared my idea with her a few months ago. Never mind the fact that I haven't gotten my act together to make my event happen, but she is the last person I would have imagined to steal my idea. Now, here's my predicament: I didn't copyright the party plan. I don't think I have legal legs to stand on, but I really do want to tell this woman how disappointed I am that she would steal my idea. Do you think I should say something or just move on? -- Late to the Party, New York City

DEAR LATE TO THE PARTY: Your story proves something that is common wisdom -- keep your ideas to yourself until you manifest them. Obviously, you may want to talk to a small think tank of folks you trust, but it is easy for someone else to bite off of a good idea that is in the air. It is quite possible that this woman may not even remember your initial idea. It is possible that she did not get the idea from you, either. It's uncanny how multiple people can ride a trend at the very same time, often without knowing each other at all.

That said, if you honestly believe you told this woman about your idea, you can contact her and let her know that you are concerned that she borrowed from your idea. The best you will likely get is an apology. You can consult an attorney, but without some type of legal documentation that proves that this idea started as your intellectual property, it is unlikely that you will be able to wrestle back control.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Prom is in three weeks, and I still do not have a date. I am really stressed and upset about this, especially because all of my other friends have dates. My friends have been trying to help me figure out who to go with, but the process has been a disaster. Every person who I think could be a possible date already has one. I am stuck, and I do not want to go to prom alone. My friends are getting annoyed at me because I cannot think of anyone else, but they don't understand how I feel. Would it be better to go to prom alone or with a total stranger? -- Frustrated, Los Angeles

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Do one more search for potential dates, including any fun neighbors or family members. If you still come up short, consider going alone or identifying other students at your school who are dateless and inviting them to go with you as a group. This usually works best when the stag party is part of the same friend group.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the years, I have always been the poor one in my family. My siblings have made a lot more money than me, and they have supported me in all kinds of ways. Of course, I appreciate their generosity, but I want to pull my weight, too. The other day I had lunch with my brother at a local restaurant, and the meal was quite affordable, so when the check came, I immediately reached to pay for it. My brother shrugged me off and paid the tab. I tried to tell him that I wanted to take care of it, but he wouldn't listen. Should I leave well enough alone or follow up and let him know that I am making an effort to contribute more now that I am earning a little more money? -- Not Totally Broke, Los Angeles

DEAR NOT TOTALLY BROKE: There is no need to go to your siblings to complain about not being allowed to foot the tab for a meal. They have become accustomed to paying for your tab and expect that they will handle it. Since you are not in a position to pay regularly for whatever may come up, don't protest this. Instead, do little things that show your appreciation to your family members. You can write them notes expressing your gratitude. You can send or give them small gifts that you believe they would like that show your love. And next time you go to an affordable restaurant, you can announce in advance that you will be picking up the check.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is the end of the school year, and it is customary to give gifts to the teachers. I have gotten emails from other parents asking for money for a group gift. While I know that this is what people do, I feel uncomfortable about being forced to participate. Is it wrong for me to buck the group plan and give on my own? I understand that we have a limit on the amount of money that each family gives, but what if I decide to give a small amount or even if my child gives something she makes rather than money? How can I present this to the class parents so that my child doesn't end up being the outcast? -- Against the Shakedown, Atlanta

DEAR AGAINST THE SHAKEDOWN: Each school has a particular culture. You should be crystal clear about yours before you make a decision. Check school policy. It may be that classes typically give as a unit. If so, you can still tell the class parents that rather than giving cash, you choose to give a different type of gift.

That said, you may want to give a small monetary gift just so that you can be at least peripherally part of the class culture.