DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently received a Facebook friend request from a 14-year-old girl who attends the church where I serve as a deacon. I am uncomfortable with accepting her request for friendship. I do not know her that well; moreover, I will be concerned that grown men will try to friend her because they saw her on my page. This is my fourth week in the position, and I do not want any problems when I decline her friendship request. I am sure she does not see any harm in requesting friendship on Facebook. How do I tell her the reason why I did not accept her friendship without hurting her feelings? -- I Unfriend You, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR I UNFRIEND YOU: Be honest with this young lady. When you see her at church, ask to speak to her for a moment. Tell her that you received her friend request and that you will not be able to accept it because you want to protect her and her privacy. Explain, as you did to me, that you do not want to expose her to your adult male friends. Social media can be dangerous territory when the exposure is too broad.

As a deacon of your church, talk to the church leadership about this. It is a topic worth contemplating as a church community that may end up as a content point to be shared with the congregation at some point in the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I took my girlfriend to a fast food restaurant a few days ago, where she decided to breastfeed our child. I have no problems with any woman who feeds her child in public. I believe there is a way you should feed them in public, though, without drawing attention to you and your child. My girlfriend did not care how she presented herself during the feeding session. She had a breast exposed, with no regard to the patrons who were in the restaurant, and I had men looking at my girlfriend's exposed breast, drooling. She is a free spirit, and I want to know how I can tell her the proper way to feed our child in public. Can you help me? -- A Mother's Nature, Detroit

DEAR A MOTHER'S NATURE: It is possible that your girlfriend didn't think twice about other people at all. She may be so focused on her child that she is oblivious to anything that is going on around her.

Your job is to up her awareness. Start by getting her a blanket that you give to her and tell her that it is to cover the baby and her when she nurses in public. Coming with a gift may help you start a conversation without an argument. You will need to tell her, though, that she may not realize it, but when she nurses without covering herself, she exposes her breast to all who are around her. Tell her that you do not think this is appropriate. Being discreet will help her to remain comfortable nursing wherever she needs to do so without being disruptive to those in her line of sight.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad is 63 years old. He has been living with his girlfriend for more than 15 years, and I would like to see them married. I have never met his girlfriend, but I think it would be nice to make her an honest women. He couldn't do it before because he never officially divorced my mom. But my mom passed away a few years ago, so he's free. Do you think I should tell him what I think? Or should I stay out of grown folks' business? -- What Is a Son to Do?, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR WHAT IS A SON TO DO?: Applying your moral values to your father and his girlfriend when you haven't even met her seems dangerous. While theoretically you believe it would be better for your father and his girlfriend to be married if they are going to live together, you don't sound like you actually know anything about their relationship.

So, yes, you should stay out of their business. It is not for you to impose your beliefs or judgments on them. If you would like to understand your father's choices, however, you can ask him. You can tell him you want to know why he has chosen not to marry his girlfriend. If you ask kindly and without judgment lacing your words, you may get an answer. It may or may not be what you want to hear, but it may help you to create a clearer line of communication with your father.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For spring break, my group of friends decided to go away to the Bahamas. My dad recently lost his job, so I could not afford to go. I was embarrassed to tell my friends the real reason, so I lied and told them my parents were worried about the risky activity. Now all my friends won't stop reminiscing about their time in the Bahamas. I feel so left out. I know it's unfair, but I'm mad at my parents for making me miss out on this experience. What can I do to make sure that I don't have to miss out on more experiences with my friends, even if they're costly? I don't know how many more excuses I can think of! Furthermore, do I tell my friends about our current financial situation? I feel like it's none of their business. -- Left Out, Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR LEFT OUT: When a family's finances change, it can cause a seismic shift in what extracurricular activities you can choose. And, yes, it can be painfully difficult to miss out on the fun that your friends are enjoying. While it is none of your friends' business what your family finances are, it also is a fact about your life. Talk to your parents about whether they will feel comfortable with you revealing your current reality. There need not be shame in job loss. It is a reality that many people these days are facing.

Lying about why you can't do things is actually more difficult to manage. I recommend that you tell your closest friends the truth. To be able to have future fun that comes with a cost, you may need to get a part-time job so you can save for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a crush on this guy for a really long time. One of my best friends feels the same way about him. At the beginning of the school year, he and I were exclusive for about five months until we were about to have sex. When I asked him if I meant anything to him, he avoided the topic and told me that he didn't actually like me that much. We broke up, but I am still not over him. Last weekend, my best friend and this boy confessed their love for each other and are going to prom together -- as a couple. Since we are in the same friend group, I am forced to pretend that I am not mad at her because my friends don't want to deal with any drama. I am so not OK with this situation, and I cannot believe she would do this to me. What should I do? -- Feeling Betrayed, Boston

DEAR FEELING BETRAYED: Both the boy and your friend have been insensitive to you and your feelings. The boy should not have been dating you exclusively if he didn't really like you. That was very immature and heartless.

Given that you are in high school, it is understandable that you are all still learning how to have a relationship, maintain your friendships and stay sane. It isn't easy, even when you get older. For now, if you can, find a date for the prom so that you will have a healthy distraction from obsessing over them. If not, make a plan to spend time with your other friends without always being in the company of those two.

Your feelings may be hurt when you witness the two of them as a couple, but you should find some solace in realizing that you stopped the relationship from turning a very dangerous corner by not having sex with him when you discovered that you and he didn't share the same feelings for each other. Give yourself credit for being wise. You can get through this with integrity on your side.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son went to a birthday party, but he did not bring a gift because I forgot to get one for him. He just received a thank-you note from the child for a gift that someone else obviously bought for him. This happened before we could get the child a gift. My son asked me if we should tell the friend that the gift did not come from him or if we should just let him think what he does already. I think we should tell the truth, don't you? -- Wrong Gift, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR WRONG GIFT: Of course your son should tell his friend that someone else gave him the gift in question. If possible, it would be great for your son to give him the gift that you and he originally intended at the same time. But even if you aren't able to do that, absolutely let the friend know that he thanked the wrong person.