DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad is 63 years old. He has been living with his girlfriend for more than 15 years, and I would like to see them married. I have never met his girlfriend, but I think it would be nice to make her an honest women. He couldn't do it before because he never officially divorced my mom. But my mom passed away a few years ago, so he's free. Do you think I should tell him what I think? Or should I stay out of grown folks' business? -- What Is a Son to Do?, Memphis, Tenn.
DEAR WHAT IS A SON TO DO?: Applying your moral values to your father and his girlfriend when you haven't even met her seems dangerous. While theoretically you believe it would be better for your father and his girlfriend to be married if they are going to live together, you don't sound like you actually know anything about their relationship.
So, yes, you should stay out of their business. It is not for you to impose your beliefs or judgments on them. If you would like to understand your father's choices, however, you can ask him. You can tell him you want to know why he has chosen not to marry his girlfriend. If you ask kindly and without judgment lacing your words, you may get an answer. It may or may not be what you want to hear, but it may help you to create a clearer line of communication with your father.