DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that my best friend's parents are getting a divorce. Our parents have been friends for years, and they are like a second family to me. Her dad cheated on her mom, and her mom has turned the kids against the dad. When my friend tries to talk to me about this situation, I feel very uncomfortable because I think that it is wrong that she does not communicate with her dad. She asks me for advice, but I don't want to go against what she believes is right. I know she is very upset about this situation, and I really don't know what to say to her when she brings up the divorce. Should I try to avoid this subject completely or try and comfort her without giving my opinion? -- Uncomfortable, Miami

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: You are doing the right thing by not taking sides. There is no winning in this situation if you become too vocal about your opinions. Do your best to simply be there for your friend. Remind her that you love her and want to support her through everything. Suggest that she see a counselor to get professional support as she goes through this incredibly difficult period.

If she asks you to take sides or agree with something that makes you uncomfortable, tell her no. It is OK for you to say that you refuse to speak badly about either of her parents. If she gets too riled up about the divorce when she is talking to you, you can protect yourself by saying that you need to step back a little. Tell her you want to support her, but that you cannot get involved in her parents' business.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am starting college in the fall, and I am very nervous about it. I have lived in one place for my entire life and have never really experienced this type of change before. All of my friends have found roommates, but I have barely spoken to anyone going to my school next year. I really don't want a random roommate because I would feel more comfortable knowing who I am going to live with. I come off as a shy person, and it is hard for me to open up to new people. I am scared that this transition will be extremely difficult. Do you have any advice for me to feel better about starting this new chapter in my life? -- Shy and Scared, Secaucus, N.J.

DEAR SHY AND SCARED: Contact your college immediately and find out how it goes about assigning roommates. You will end up with a random roommate if you take no action. That doesn't have to be bad, though. You could be lucky and get the perfect match.

To avoid randomness, ask your guidance counselor to help you. Open up about who you are. Reveal that it can take some time for you to get to know people. Also ask for suggestions for clubs or groups that share your interests. Joining a small affinity group will make it easier for you to get to know people.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have been trying to eat healthier so I can lose some weight. I joined a gym and have been working out at least four times a week. Most of my friends have been understanding and supportive of this goal; however, one of my best friends is treating me as if it's a joke. She has not taken me seriously at all, and all she does is talk to me about food -- whether it's a new dessert place we need to try, or the mac and cheese she had for dinner the other night. I am insecure about this, and she makes me feel uncomfortable because I feel like all she does is judge. She is very manipulative, and it seems as if she does not want me to reach my goal. It stresses me out because she is always asking for plans, but I do not want to associate myself with someone so negative. How can I confront her about this in a nice way? -- Skinny Girl, Austin, Texas

DEAR SKINNY GIRL: Drum up the courage to speak directly to her. Tell her that it hurts your feelings knowing that she has been unsupportive of you in your efforts to get healthier and lose weight. Point out the things that she has said that have been hurtful. Remind her that you need her, as your friend, to be a cheerleader rather than a naysayer. Tell her that if she is unable to be supportive, you will not be able to spend as much time with her.

Do not feel bad about taking care of yourself. In order to make the huge step that you have embarked upon, you need to be completely focused. Surround yourself with supporters. And in the instances of the naysayers, decide that you will prove them wrong by winning on your journey to fitness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last weekend, my boyfriend surprised me with a dinner reservation at my favorite restaurant for our anniversary. That day happened to be my best friend's 18th birthday. My best friend had also invited me to have dinner with her family and her boyfriend, but this invitation was very last minute, and I wanted to spend some alone time with my boyfriend. I didn't think much of it because I figured she would understand that it was our anniversary dinner. My best friend still has not forgiven me for my choice and refuses to talk to me. I have apologized multiple times, and I do not know what else to do. Should I stop trying to communicate with her until she accepts my apology? -- Torn, Los Angeles

DEAR TORN: It is likely that your best friend feels threatened by your boyfriend. What often happens is that friendship dynamics change when one or both friends get involved in a relationship. Your friend feels that you chose your boyfriend over her. It may take a bit for her to see clearly about what happened.

Stop begging for her forgiveness. Just keep your heart open to welcome her back when she cools off. In the future, be crystal clear when you cannot accept an invitation so that everybody knows what is going to happen from the beginning.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently graduated from a top college with honors, but I do not have a job for the fall yet. I know this should be an exciting and proud time in my life, yet I cannot overcome the anxiousness and frustration I feel about finding a job. I have sent in applications for many positions, but have had little luck hearing back. I don't understand, as I'm a competitive and qualified applicant. How am I supposed to jumpstart my career when I can barely get my foot in the door? Is my difficulty finding a job bad luck, or is there something wrong with me? -- Unemployed and Unhopeful, Boston

DEAR UNEMPLOYED AND UNHOPEFUL: First of all, know that you are not alone. Many recent college grads are looking for work -- all at the same time. This means that it may take longer to find a job, especially considering that the economy is still growing at a slow pace. This does not mean that you should worry.

Now is the time to take a deep breath, buckle down and get strategic. Go back and review your strengths. Then identify where you have experience and expertise. Research which fields are hiring, and look to see where your skills match. As executive recruiter Marlon Cousin of the Marquin Group shared with me, "You have to look in fields where there is a need in order to find a job."

If you are on good terms with your college, go back to your placement office and ask them for support in targeting a search for work. Finally, while you continue to look, volunteer for a business that does what interests you. In this way, you can earn experience that may even convert to a job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has recently lost a large amount of weight from her already-skinny frame. She obsesses over what she eats and works out for hours a day. I'm really worried about her. Whenever I try and bring up the subject, she always insists she's fine. I truly care about her, but being around her is too stressful and not fun. I don't know how much more I can do to help her. I feel like she's my responsibility because her mom and dad both work early mornings and late nights and are barely around. I don't know who else I can reach out to in order to get her the help she needs. -- At a Loss, Minneapolis

DEAR AT A LOSS: It is likely that your friend has an eating disorder. While experts do not believe that talking to her about her weight or her lack of eating will help, they do recommend that you talk to your friend about her feelings. Ask her what's going on in her life. Suggest that she get help.

Even though her parents work a lot, you could reach out to say that you are worried about her. You can also ask the school nurse for support.

You also have to take care of yourself. If that means you don't hang out with her as much, so be it. Just check in regularly to let her know you love her and are concerned about her. For more information, read counseling.caltech.edu/general/InfoandResources/Eating_Disorder.