DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have been trying to eat healthier so I can lose some weight. I joined a gym and have been working out at least four times a week. Most of my friends have been understanding and supportive of this goal; however, one of my best friends is treating me as if it's a joke. She has not taken me seriously at all, and all she does is talk to me about food -- whether it's a new dessert place we need to try, or the mac and cheese she had for dinner the other night. I am insecure about this, and she makes me feel uncomfortable because I feel like all she does is judge. She is very manipulative, and it seems as if she does not want me to reach my goal. It stresses me out because she is always asking for plans, but I do not want to associate myself with someone so negative. How can I confront her about this in a nice way? -- Skinny Girl, Austin, Texas

DEAR SKINNY GIRL: Drum up the courage to speak directly to her. Tell her that it hurts your feelings knowing that she has been unsupportive of you in your efforts to get healthier and lose weight. Point out the things that she has said that have been hurtful. Remind her that you need her, as your friend, to be a cheerleader rather than a naysayer. Tell her that if she is unable to be supportive, you will not be able to spend as much time with her.

Do not feel bad about taking care of yourself. In order to make the huge step that you have embarked upon, you need to be completely focused. Surround yourself with supporters. And in the instances of the naysayers, decide that you will prove them wrong by winning on your journey to fitness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last weekend, my boyfriend surprised me with a dinner reservation at my favorite restaurant for our anniversary. That day happened to be my best friend's 18th birthday. My best friend had also invited me to have dinner with her family and her boyfriend, but this invitation was very last minute, and I wanted to spend some alone time with my boyfriend. I didn't think much of it because I figured she would understand that it was our anniversary dinner. My best friend still has not forgiven me for my choice and refuses to talk to me. I have apologized multiple times, and I do not know what else to do. Should I stop trying to communicate with her until she accepts my apology? -- Torn, Los Angeles

DEAR TORN: It is likely that your best friend feels threatened by your boyfriend. What often happens is that friendship dynamics change when one or both friends get involved in a relationship. Your friend feels that you chose your boyfriend over her. It may take a bit for her to see clearly about what happened.

Stop begging for her forgiveness. Just keep your heart open to welcome her back when she cools off. In the future, be crystal clear when you cannot accept an invitation so that everybody knows what is going to happen from the beginning.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently graduated from a top college with honors, but I do not have a job for the fall yet. I know this should be an exciting and proud time in my life, yet I cannot overcome the anxiousness and frustration I feel about finding a job. I have sent in applications for many positions, but have had little luck hearing back. I don't understand, as I'm a competitive and qualified applicant. How am I supposed to jumpstart my career when I can barely get my foot in the door? Is my difficulty finding a job bad luck, or is there something wrong with me? -- Unemployed and Unhopeful, Boston

DEAR UNEMPLOYED AND UNHOPEFUL: First of all, know that you are not alone. Many recent college grads are looking for work -- all at the same time. This means that it may take longer to find a job, especially considering that the economy is still growing at a slow pace. This does not mean that you should worry.

Now is the time to take a deep breath, buckle down and get strategic. Go back and review your strengths. Then identify where you have experience and expertise. Research which fields are hiring, and look to see where your skills match. As executive recruiter Marlon Cousin of the Marquin Group shared with me, "You have to look in fields where there is a need in order to find a job."

If you are on good terms with your college, go back to your placement office and ask them for support in targeting a search for work. Finally, while you continue to look, volunteer for a business that does what interests you. In this way, you can earn experience that may even convert to a job.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend has recently lost a large amount of weight from her already-skinny frame. She obsesses over what she eats and works out for hours a day. I'm really worried about her. Whenever I try and bring up the subject, she always insists she's fine. I truly care about her, but being around her is too stressful and not fun. I don't know how much more I can do to help her. I feel like she's my responsibility because her mom and dad both work early mornings and late nights and are barely around. I don't know who else I can reach out to in order to get her the help she needs. -- At a Loss, Minneapolis

DEAR AT A LOSS: It is likely that your friend has an eating disorder. While experts do not believe that talking to her about her weight or her lack of eating will help, they do recommend that you talk to your friend about her feelings. Ask her what's going on in her life. Suggest that she get help.

Even though her parents work a lot, you could reach out to say that you are worried about her. You can also ask the school nurse for support.

You also have to take care of yourself. If that means you don't hang out with her as much, so be it. Just check in regularly to let her know you love her and are concerned about her. For more information, read counseling.caltech.edu/general/InfoandResources/Eating_Disorder.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 9-year-old son came home from a friend's after a sleepover and told me that his friend's parents allowed them to watch several R-rated movies. Now, I'm no prude, but there is a reason movies have ratings. R-rated movies are not appropriate for young children. My son was thrilled, of course, because an adult allowed him to do something that his parents would never think of doing. But I am outraged. I didn't even think to ask what the movies were that they would be watching when I was told that it was "movie night." How should I handle this? -- Out of Sorts, Princeton, N.J.

DEAR OUT OF SORTS: Given that you were told it was "movie night," which suggests that there was some intention behind the planning for the evening of the sleepover, you should contact your son's friend's parents immediately. As calmly as you can, ask them what movies they showed the children. Tell them what movies your son said he watched. Point out that these specific movies are rated R. (Obviously, verify that they do bear that rating. Don't just trust your son's word.) Ask why they would show young children such films.

Express your disappointment that they did show inappropriate movies to the children. Because your children are friends, if you ever want your son to visit them again, you need to add that you trust that they will be more mindful in the future of what is age-appropriate. And you should check to see what the activities will be before you allow your son to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked with a vendor recently who was referred to me by someone I know who was trying to help him get work. The project ended miserably, and I really want to report him to the Better Business Bureau. Do you think I am overreacting? In the end, my company was sued by this vendor, who actually did a lousy job on the project. Because he was tricky with his contract, we probably do have to pay him. I think he should have to pay. -- In a Mess, Denver

DEAR IN A MESS: If this vendor has a rock-solid contract, you may not be able to solve much by going to the Better Business Bureau. Talk to an attorney about your legal rights. And by all means attempt to talk directly to the vendor to resolve the matter amicably. If you choose to go to the BBB, you can file a complaint that will be sent to them immediately for response. If they refuse to respond, at least your complaint will be on record. Read this for more support on filing a complaint: bbb.org/blog/2013/04/bbb-offers-tips-on-when-and-how-to-file-a-complaint/.

What you can also do is let your clients know that this vendor is not to be trusted.