DEAR HARRIETTE: My 9-year-old son came home from a friend's after a sleepover and told me that his friend's parents allowed them to watch several R-rated movies. Now, I'm no prude, but there is a reason movies have ratings. R-rated movies are not appropriate for young children. My son was thrilled, of course, because an adult allowed him to do something that his parents would never think of doing. But I am outraged. I didn't even think to ask what the movies were that they would be watching when I was told that it was "movie night." How should I handle this? -- Out of Sorts, Princeton, N.J.

DEAR OUT OF SORTS: Given that you were told it was "movie night," which suggests that there was some intention behind the planning for the evening of the sleepover, you should contact your son's friend's parents immediately. As calmly as you can, ask them what movies they showed the children. Tell them what movies your son said he watched. Point out that these specific movies are rated R. (Obviously, verify that they do bear that rating. Don't just trust your son's word.) Ask why they would show young children such films.

Express your disappointment that they did show inappropriate movies to the children. Because your children are friends, if you ever want your son to visit them again, you need to add that you trust that they will be more mindful in the future of what is age-appropriate. And you should check to see what the activities will be before you allow your son to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked with a vendor recently who was referred to me by someone I know who was trying to help him get work. The project ended miserably, and I really want to report him to the Better Business Bureau. Do you think I am overreacting? In the end, my company was sued by this vendor, who actually did a lousy job on the project. Because he was tricky with his contract, we probably do have to pay him. I think he should have to pay. -- In a Mess, Denver

DEAR IN A MESS: If this vendor has a rock-solid contract, you may not be able to solve much by going to the Better Business Bureau. Talk to an attorney about your legal rights. And by all means attempt to talk directly to the vendor to resolve the matter amicably. If you choose to go to the BBB, you can file a complaint that will be sent to them immediately for response. If they refuse to respond, at least your complaint will be on record. Read this for more support on filing a complaint: bbb.org/blog/2013/04/bbb-offers-tips-on-when-and-how-to-file-a-complaint/.

What you can also do is let your clients know that this vendor is not to be trusted.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who did some time in jail. She hasn't really talked about it, but I know it happened, and now she's OK. She is rebuilding her life, and it's going all right. Recently, though, I overheard some of her so-called friends talking about her like a dog. They were gossiping about her past, guessing at why she went to jail in the first place and saying mean stuff about her. She served her time. Why can't they just leave her alone? I feel bad for her. Should I tell her what people are saying? How can I be a friend to her? -- Gossip Hater, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR GOSSIP HATER: Rather than telling your friend what these people are saying, just be there for her. Be a good listener. Be kind to her. Let her know that it is safe for her to confide in you.

As far as the people doing the gossiping, do not participate. If you are ever in their company again when you hear them, speak up and say that you think it is unkind of them to talk about her like that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two employees who are in college. Recently, they have been really slacking at work. I couldn't figure out why this was, so I asked and learned that they were deep into finals, which is why they weren't paying attention to their responsibilities. I really wish they had said something sooner. I had to do lots of their work over because they weren't paying attention. Of course, I am happy that they are pursuing their education, but they get paid to work for me, and I expect them to do their job. What should I do about this? -- Can't Stand Slackers, Chicago

DEAR CAN'T STAND SLACKERS: Chances are, your employees did not realize how much time their studies would take up. I doubt that they intentionally did a poor job at work. That doesn't excuse them, of course.

What you can do now is to sit them down and tell them how disappointed you are in their job performance. Also tell them that you wish they had given you the heads up about finals season so that you could have worked out a schedule that would have accommodated their needs and yours. Point out that it was irresponsible of them to do a poor job.

Teach them how to handle their time better. Finals season may be a time when they should request vacation days so that they can focus on their schoolwork in an uninterrupted way. In that way, they can honor their educational priority without infringing upon their work responsibility. You may want to dock their pay a small amount to drive home the point.

In the future, as an employer of students, it is wise for you to learn the details of their academic schedule so that you can anticipate challenging periods and help them plan accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a divorced mom of two young children. My ex and I have been apart for three years. I recently started dating a very nice guy. I want to introduce him to my children, but I am worried that they may not like him. I think they are still sad that my husband and I broke up, so any guy they meet will be the wrong guy. At the same time, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm still young. I need them to know that it's normal for their mom to want to date and have a new life partner. How do I go about doing that? -- Single Mom Dating, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR SINGLE MOM DATING: I have talked to quite a few single moms and dads about this conundrum. On the one hand, you do not want to parade an endless group of dates before your children. On the other, you do want them to see that you have a whole life.

I recommend that if you really do like this man that you introduce him to them as your friend. Create moments when they can get to know him. There may be some trepidation, especially at first. Observe to see how he interacts with them and vice versa. Ultimately, your choice of a new life partner should include the requirement that he get along well with your children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is vegetarian, and she keeps hounding me to try it out. She says my skin will get better, I will lose weight, I will be a friend to the earth -- the whole nine yards. While being vegetarian agrees with her, it isn't interesting to me. Plus, I have a ton of food allergies, and a lot of the stuff she eats makes me break out. How can I get her to stop nagging me about her food choices? I don't try to convince her to do what I'm doing. -- Her Choice Only, Dallas

DEAR HER CHOICE ONLY: Have you ever told your friend about your food allergies? That may be something that she can hear. An interesting thing that happens when people get into a new behavior or idea is that they go all in at first and want to bring everybody who's part of their world along for the ride.

Your friend is well-meaning, I'm sure. And she may even be eating certain foods that you would like that are also good for your body. So do your best not to ignore her completely. Let her know that you do not intend to become vegetarian but that you are interested in some of the foods that she is eating. Be willing to try out a dish or two, provided you review the list of ingredients in advance. A sliver of openness on your part may help your friend to relax her proselytizing.