DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a divorced mom of two young children. My ex and I have been apart for three years. I recently started dating a very nice guy. I want to introduce him to my children, but I am worried that they may not like him. I think they are still sad that my husband and I broke up, so any guy they meet will be the wrong guy. At the same time, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I'm still young. I need them to know that it's normal for their mom to want to date and have a new life partner. How do I go about doing that? -- Single Mom Dating, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR SINGLE MOM DATING: I have talked to quite a few single moms and dads about this conundrum. On the one hand, you do not want to parade an endless group of dates before your children. On the other, you do want them to see that you have a whole life.

I recommend that if you really do like this man that you introduce him to them as your friend. Create moments when they can get to know him. There may be some trepidation, especially at first. Observe to see how he interacts with them and vice versa. Ultimately, your choice of a new life partner should include the requirement that he get along well with your children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is vegetarian, and she keeps hounding me to try it out. She says my skin will get better, I will lose weight, I will be a friend to the earth -- the whole nine yards. While being vegetarian agrees with her, it isn't interesting to me. Plus, I have a ton of food allergies, and a lot of the stuff she eats makes me break out. How can I get her to stop nagging me about her food choices? I don't try to convince her to do what I'm doing. -- Her Choice Only, Dallas

DEAR HER CHOICE ONLY: Have you ever told your friend about your food allergies? That may be something that she can hear. An interesting thing that happens when people get into a new behavior or idea is that they go all in at first and want to bring everybody who's part of their world along for the ride.

Your friend is well-meaning, I'm sure. And she may even be eating certain foods that you would like that are also good for your body. So do your best not to ignore her completely. Let her know that you do not intend to become vegetarian but that you are interested in some of the foods that she is eating. Be willing to try out a dish or two, provided you review the list of ingredients in advance. A sliver of openness on your part may help your friend to relax her proselytizing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am scared. I went to a party with a bunch of my college buddies, and we all got crazy drunk. I ended up sleeping with one of the guys at the party. I am so embarrassed. I didn't know him at all. I don't even know his name. Now I'm freaked out. I can't believe how stupid I was. My friends and I haven't mentioned anything about the party or what we did. (A few of my friends ended up in bed with guys from the other school.) Should I just act like nothing happened? -- Scared Sober, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR SCARED SOBER: The smartest things you can do are to talk to your friends and to go to the doctor. Gather your friends and tell them that you think it would be good for you to discuss what happened and how to make sure it doesn't happen again. Engaging in reckless behavior as a group and then pretending it away makes the action even more reckless because it can easily be repeated. Agree that you will not make such a dangerous set of mistakes in the future.

By all means, go to the doctor and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. You may also want to get a pregnancy test, just to be sure of your status. Encourage your friends to do the same.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was new at my job -- some 20 years ago -- my boss made a pass at me. He went so far as to tell me that if I wanted to be successful, this was how to do it. I was so upset. I told another boss about it, but nothing happened. I watched him for years as he "secretly" had affairs with people at work, even though he had a wife. I no longer work there, but I just saw this man in a professional setting, and it all just came back to me. He was gross back then, but this time when I saw him he acted like we were old buddies. He even asked me to have lunch with him. Part of me wants to just so that I can tell him off. What do you think? -- Remembering the Past, New York City

DEAR REMEMBERING THE PAST: If you feel that you can be calm and collected as you tell this man how inappropriate his behavior was when you worked for him, by all means do it. Make sure that you meet in a public place. Tell him that the reason you decided to meet him is because you felt powerless years ago when he said those discriminatory words to you. Today you feel powerful and able to stand up for yourself.

Say to him, if you can, that you hope he has turned over a new leaf and is no longer preying on young women. Then, get up and leave. No need to continue the conversation. If he chooses to apologize with sincerity, accept it and keep moving.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been calling and emailing my friend for about a month now with no response whatsoever. She is not someone I talk to a lot, but in the past, she at least responded to me when I contacted her. I got kind of mad and sent her a not-so-nice note saying that my feelings were hurt that she hadn't gotten back to me. Then she called to tell me that she has been sick for about a month and a half. I feel so bad. How can I make it up to her? -- Foot in Mouth, Detroit

DEAR FOOT IN MOUTH: I'm sure you apologized when you spoke to her. If you feel that your apology was insufficient, call her back to explain that you were frustrated because you hadn't heard back from her and that you are truly sorry for lashing out. You should follow up with her to see if she is feeling better and ask if there is anything you can do to help her.

Your lesson here is to not take things personally. You misjudged your friend's silence as her ignoring you. It wasn't about you at all.

Dear Harriette: Recently, you printed a letter from "Shut Your Mouth," from Jackson, Miss., about the woman whose husband had passed away and the neighbors started gossiping. I agree with your advice, but I think a stronger reprimand to the gossips is necessary.

My husband of 35 years died after 10 years of illness, leaving me in a financial mess and emotionally and physically exhausted. I met someone who was kind and lonely a few months later.

My husband's family was quite upset that I had begun to date and to move on. It hurt my feelings because no one knows what went on during the marriage -- mine or the Jackson widow's -- and unless you have experienced it, you can't understand the loneliness.

My grown son told his uncle (my biggest critic), "My mom isn't the one who died. My dad certainly wouldn't want her to be sad, and he would have found someone else, too." No one should presume to judge how anyone else grieves. -- Venting, Salt Lake City

DEAR VENTING: Thank you so much for sending your reflection about your life. It is so true that many people savor gossiping. The volume often gets raised among loved ones and neighbors when a woman loses her husband. What's unfair or at least unequal is that when a man loses his wife, it is expected that he will quickly find someone else. (I digress.)

A widow has every right to find a new companion. When loved ones prove to be judgmental, it may help to welcome in a new friend or two so that you have a neutral party with whom you can talk about life. Over time, family members usually come around and welcome a new beau.