DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, and we are very happy together -- with the exception of one argument that we continually have. Shortly after my husband and I married two years ago, he was offered "the opportunity of a lifetime" to help set up a new division at his company's office in Dubai. The assignment was supposed to last 12 months, and we agreed that I would stay in the United State while he was away. I recently spoke to my husband, and he told me his company is pleased with the growth of the new division, and it would like him to stay an additional five years. I do not know if I can move to Dubai for such an extended period of time. I know he will eventually ask me to be with him, but I do not know what I will say. How should I address this issue? -- Home Alone, Nashville, Tenn.

DEAR HOME ALONE: You two obviously need to have a heart-to-heart discussion about this. Being long-distance for one year is very different from extending it to a six-year term. You may want to ask yourself a few questions before you talk. Start with what your aversion is to living in Dubai with him. Do you believe you could find work based on your skill set? What do you feel you will be leaving behind to be with him? Is there a way for the two of you to use the five years in Dubai to make yourselves even more appealing stateside on the back end?

It's understandable that you could feel betrayed because the terms are changing based on his time in Dubai, but this is now a fact in your marriage. Change happens, and you must decide together how to manage that change. If this opportunity seems wise for your family based on a discussion that you have with your husband, you should go -- with the understanding that you and your husband will decide your next steps together. If you absolutely do not want to move there, then you will need to figure out together how to maintain a commuter marriage -- not the easiest thing to do, but it is possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having a hard time sleeping. I keep having dreams about my ex, and they are incredibly vivid. I loved him so much, and even though we have been separated for years, for some reason he is back in my heart again. The problem, of course, is that I have a boyfriend who is very kind to me, and I care for him deeply. I don't know if I should commit to him, though, considering that I can't get my ex out of my head. -- Insomniac, Denver

DEAR INSOMNIAC: You have to make peace with your past in order to live fully in the present. Take a moment to revisit why you and your ex ended your relationship. Were the reasons valid? Is there any reason to believe that you could rekindle your relationship? If so, you may want to revisit it.

If you want to make the choice to be with your current boyfriend, you must resolve your feelings for your ex. Be grateful for what you had and clear about where you stand today. Stop longing for him. Only after you let go of your heart connection will your sleep be more restful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has a crush on a boy in her class who, so far, has paid no attention to her. I know about the crush because she has mentioned it to me a couple of times. I am so glad that we talk openly, but I do not know how to support her in this. Obviously, you cannot make somebody like you. And they are just 12 years old, so while it's a simple crush, her emotions seem pretty high right now. How can I help her to back off a bit from him and regain a sense of calm? She's an emotional mess because she is obsessing over him. -- Hot Girl, Racine, Wis.

DEAR HOT GIRL: One of those hard-to-learn lessons in life is about the cat-and-mouse dance of dating. If your daughter really likes this boy, she is going to have to learn that actively chasing him, trying to get his attention, is likely to push him away. As your daughter learns many things about puberty, she should also be learning how to handle herself when she likes someone. Teach her that it is fine to be friendly, but not pushy. If she is going overboard showering him with attention, it's time for her to refocus on her studies and her girlfriends. Being overly interested and smothering will definitely turn this boy off.

Your daughter also needs to learn that not every boy she likes will like her in the same way. Some people will just remain friends, if that, and that's OK. Also, people don't always become interested in each other at the same time. Their timing may be off, which is important to understand and accept. If he is not responding in a way that reflects her feelings for him, suggest that she fill her time with other activities so that she can relax a bit. You can help her by doing some of these activities with her or arranging things for her to do with her friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor from back home lost her father a few weeks ago. My mom called to let me know. I haven't talked to her in years, but even so, I feel like I want to contact her to express my condolences. Will it seem weird? We lost touch more than 20 years ago. When I come home to visit my family, I never see her or her family. Still, I remember her father and mother, and I think it would be kind of me to pay my respects. How do you recommend I do that without ruffling her feathers? -- Well-Intentioned, Detroit

DEAR WELL-INTENTIONED: Here's where a condolence card comes in handy. By all means, send a card with a handwritten note expressing your loving thoughts to your neighbor and her family during this sad time. Your note will be a perfect way to share your sympathies without being invasive. She surely will appreciate your remembering her at this delicate time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new co-worker who is from another country where English is not the language, and she has a very heavy accent. I find that a lot of times I do not understand what she is saying. I feel bad asking her to repeat herself all the time, but I worry that if I don't, I may miss some important information that she is trying to tell me. How can I develop a working relationship with her where we communicate effectively? I don't want to be rude to her. -- Lost in Translation, Seattle

DEAR LOST IN TRANSLATION: I am sure that your co-worker knows that she has an accent and that sometimes people do not understand her. But she may not realize to what extent you do not understand her. Ask her to join you for a meeting, and be clear and direct with her. Tell her that sometimes you cannot understand her. Ask her if she would slow down when she is speaking to you to ensure that the two of you have accurate communication. Check in with her as well to see if she understands everything that you are saying. She may be having a similar challenge, especially given that English is not her first language. Pledge to work together to build effective communication. Chances are that she will appreciate your forthrightness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want to move out of town and start all over again. I have had such a rough go of it since I moved to Detroit several years ago. I lost my job -- like a whole lot of other people, I know -- but I haven't been able to bounce back. My friend down south told me about some leads there, and I'm thinking, why not check them out? Do you think it's smart to just move, or should I try to secure work first? He told me I could stay with him for as long as a year while I get my bearings. Should I go for it? -- Ready to Go, Detroit

DEAR READY TO GO: I think it is wise to do some research before you move to see if there are jobs that match your skill set where you are headed. Ask your friend what he knows, but do independent research, as well.

Since he is offering you a lifeline and you don't have one where you live, it may be a blessing for you to take him up on his offer. Make the move with a clear plan for how you intend to build a life for yourself. Be sure to be conscientious while you are living in your friend's home. Be as neat as you can. Assume some of the household chores. Contribute whatever you can financially. And keep your word about the one-year timeline. This will help to preserve your friendship.

If you do not find a job in your area of expertise, branch out to other options. You may even want to take classes to learn a trade or skill that will help you to find employment. Use the local unemployment office for support. Don't give up.