DEAR HARRIETTE: My school reunion is coming up. It's a big year for us, and I am nervous to go back. I used to go to reunions when I first graduated, but I haven't gone for about 15 years. I also used to be cute. I was tall and thin and had a great figure. I was one of the so-called "popular" girls, and I know I thought I was "all that." Fast forward to now, and I am divorced twice, seriously overweight and fairly broke. I lost my job about six months ago and haven't had steady work since. Talk about eating humble pie! I am definitely not on top of my game. People might not even recognize me if I went back. I feel like I shouldn't go since I'm not in the best place. But then I wonder if that's crazy. Maybe they would welcome me as I am. Chances are some of them are having their fair share of problems, too. I don't have time to lose weight or rewrite my story. Should I go anyway? -- Afraid of Reunion, Shreveport, La.

DEAR AFRAID OF REUNION: I can guarantee you that you are not the only one who is feeling skittish about attending your class reunion. While there will likely be some who are "sitting on top of the world," there will be plenty of others who are simply living their lives and doing the best they can -- facing ups and downs like everybody else. Whether good or bad, most Americans gain weight over time, so you will probably see quite a few people who are overweight.

My point is that you should go. Do your best to be in the moment. Do not judge yourself or others as you greet one another. Say your name as you see people, not so much because they may not recognize you, but because they may not remember your name. Be humble and kind. Choose to enjoy yourself. You may find that not being the most popular girl will allow you to notice people who could be great connections moving forward.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always give my children money when they go to hang out with other children for play dates. I tell them to offer to pay for their meals or whatever else costs money when they are out with these children and their families. And they always come home with all of their money. They say that the parents never accept it. My problem with this is if I take a few friends with my kids to hang out, I can't afford to pay for all of them. I need them to help pay for it, but now I don't know how to bring it up. How can I entertain these kids without going broke? -- Play Date, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR PLAY DATE: Plan activities that you can afford. This can include at-home fun, or going to the park with a lunch that you pack for them. You can also tell parents in advance if you are planning a special event that has a cost, and be honest: Tell them that you need them to pitch in for a particular amount.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 17-year-old daughter goes to a private school, and she gets invited to parties in the suburbs all the time. My daughter has a friend who attends a public high school. They have known each other since kindergarten, and they spend a lot of time together at our house. My daughter would like her friend to attend the parties as her guest; however, she does not want her friend to feel uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment. How can we ensure she will have a good time outside of her comfort zone? -- Trying to be a Good Friend, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND: Your daughter's intentions are great, in that she wants to include her longtime friend in her current activities. There may be times that her friend will enjoy these get-togethers. But you have to know that it isn't guaranteed.

Because your daughter goes to school with these children, she has an automatic bridge to comfort with them that her friend does not. This would be true regardless of any socioeconomic or neighborhood differences. Add those elements, and there certainly could be some awkwardness at first. To make your daughter's friend feel as comfortable as possible, your daughter should stay by her side if she does get her to attend a party. She should introduce her friend to people who are likely to be good listeners and who would welcome her. If she feels welcomed, it will be easier for her to relax. But it is also important to accept that this friend may not become part of your daughter's school friend group. That could be OK, too. Over time, your daughter will likely grow to have many different groups of friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife has a compassionate heart, and she gives her money away to anyone who needs it. I think people take advantage of my wife. How can I make her more conscious about who she gives money to without missing the opportunity to help others? -- Cup Is Getting Empty, Dearborn, Mich.

DEAR CUP IS GETTING EMPTY: Do you have a family budget? If so, add charity to it. If not, create a budget that includes all of your household expenditures, and be sure to include a column for charitable giving. Decide together how much money you and your wife will offer to those in need. With a finite number in mind, introduce a conversation about choice. Where can you best offer your money? This is an important question given that there are endless individuals and causes that need support.

Since your wife's nature is to give, help her to think more strategically about where to put her money. If she plans out how she will allocate those funds, it will help her to be more mindful of who will get her money rather than her just giving it to whomever she sees along her path. It actually is an empowering activity that she may grow to love.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed a new practice of people posting pictures on Facebook from times gone by. There's even a name for it, "Throwback Thursdays." I started looking at the pictures that people were posting, and it really has been a lot of fun for me. One day, though, I feel like a friend of mine crossed the line. She posted a photo that is more than 20 years old of my ex-husband and me at our wedding. I was shocked when I saw it. While that day was nice, of course, he turned out to be horrible. He was mean to me. He even beat me, and I eventually got out of that marriage. My friend knows all of that, so I was shocked to see that she would dredge up memories from my past that stir up pain just to play along with this throwback theme. A lot of people commented on the photo, too, many who didn't know I was ever married before. It caused me to have to talk about it again and to retell the story to my current husband of one year. It has been awkward and uncomfortable. What can I say to my friend to get her to never do this again? -- Violated on FB, Salt Lake City

DEAR VIOLATED ON FB: Chances are your friend was not thinking when she posted it. Sometimes people get caught up in the moment and get excited about their discoveries. The reality of the Internet is that you have the ability to share your finds instantly -- without processing how that sharing might affect another person.

Call your friend. Start by acknowledging how much you have enjoyed seeing her postings and traveling down memory lane with her. Then tell her how disturbing that one posting was for you. Ask her to take it down and not to post any other pictures of you and your ex.

In general, I recommend to people who are posting memories, do your best to limit the images to pictures of you. If you want to include other people who are not in the public eye, ask them for permission to do so first. People value their privacy and do not like it being violated.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife thinks it is a good idea to switch our children to a vegan diet. I do not think it is a good idea because children need a well-balanced diet, which consists of fruits, meats, grains and dairy. They are too young to understand what it means to become a vegan. I am not opposed to having my children change their diets when they are teenagers, but I want them to enjoy birthday cakes for celebrations, eat chicken soup when they are sick and enjoy pancakes on Sunday mornings. How can I make wife understand my point of view? -- Let the Children Live, Salt Lake City

DEAR LET THE CHILDREN LIVE: The desire to ensure that your children eat healthy is smart. Many families are vegetarian, including young children. Some adhere to the stricter rules of being vegan, which means eating no products that come from animals, including milk or eggs.

Before making a decision, talk with your pediatrician about how or whether to make this transition. Consider the pros and cons. And talk about what exceptions you might consider for "special occasions." This is a decision to make as a family. Otherwise, it will be very difficult to maintain. For more information about vegetarian and vegan eating for children, visit www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/nutrition/Pages/Vegetartian-Diet-for-Children.aspx.