DEAR HARRIETTE: I was cleaning up my house the other day and came across a bunch of old photos. I had such a nice time traveling down memory lane. At a certain point I found photos of a friend and her partner during a celebration, and I immediately thought that I should send them to her. Her partner died several years ago, and I know she still misses him terribly. The question I have about this is whether it will upset her to see the pictures and be reminded of those days gone by. The last thing I want to do is make her sad. When I saw the pictures, I smiled. Do you think it is worth it to send her the photos or should I leave the past in the past? -- Stirring up Memories, Baltimore

DEAR STIRRING UP MEMORIES: You can never know for certain how a person will react to images of people they love who have passed. It is likely that your friend will receive the photographs in the way that you intend them to be received. You say that the pictures are from a joyful time, which means they look happy. Chances are they will bring joy to your friend, even if they also trigger a few tears at the same time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriends at work are absolutely addicted to reality TV. They seem to watch everything with gusto. The day after their different shows come on, they spend quite a bit of time discussing all of the crazy twists and turns. While I don't begrudge them their TV fantasies, I am totally not interested. I do not watch the shows nor do I want to talk about them. How can I remain friendly with them and keep my own peace of mind? Right now they think I'm being a snob because I won't chime in on their conversations. -- Anti-Reality TV, Salt Lake City

DEAR ANTI-REALITY TV: Back in the day, many people were addicted to daytime soap operas. These nighttime reality shows remind me of those series that often lasted for decades. Yes, plenty of people can't tear their eyes away from them. And that is their business. You do not need to feel like you must be one of them, though.

At the same time, you do not need to disparage those who enjoy this type of programming. You need a middle ground. Why not decide that you will be friendly and supportive of these women when they come in ready to do their debrief, but then excuse yourself after a few minutes and do your work.

If you allow any judgment that you feel about their TV viewing to go away, it will be easier for you to accept them for who they are and what they do without having any reaction at all. Consider it just like when sports lovers get excited about their teams, especially towards the end of the season. You can observe from a distance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend invited me to go on vacation with her and her family this summer -- free of charge. She knows that my funds are limited and that I could never pay for this trip myself. I think it's really nice that she would make such a generous invitation, but I feel weird about it. I will hardly have money even for incidentals during the trip. It feels weird to be a freeloader, even if it is my friend. Her parents are cool about it. I know they have taken friends on trips with them before, like when we were in college, but we've been out of school for two years now. They are not showy people, so I don't think they will try to make me feel bad. They love me. We have been friends for 10 years. What do you think I should do? -- Broke Guest, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR BROKE GUEST: Given the way that you describe your friend and her parents, it seems that they genuinely want to include you in their family vacation. Indeed, it sounds like they are including you as a family member. In order for you to say yes, though, you have to make peace with the idea.

Speak to your friend and thank her for the invitation. Be clear about how happy you are that they are being so generous. Admit to her that you will likely not have much spending money because your finances are very tight right now. You need to be direct about your financial situation so that you don't run into hiccups along the way.

Go if you believe you can accept their generosity and have a great time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son's baby sitter has been working with us for a few months now. I have noticed that she asks me just about every week if she can have something that she thinks I am interested in discarding or that I have more than one of in my house. At first I didn't think anything of it. We are blessed with an abundance of things, but after a while I realized that it feels like a shakedown in a way. It's one thing if I choose to give her things, but that isn't the case. At least she is asking. I wonder if I stop saying "yes" if she will start taking things. I have a bad feeling. I don't want to be judgmental, but this is the person who is taking care of my child and who has keys to my home. What should I do? -- Doubting the Sitter, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR DOUBTING THE SITTER: It could be that you need to set ground rules that include letting your sitter know that you feel uncomfortable about her asking for you to give her things all the time. Tell her that you think that is inappropriate. Remind her of whatever your house rules are and the guidelines for caring for your son.

If, however, your gut says she needs to go, actively look for a replacement and remove her from your home and your life as soon as possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two children who are in junior high school, and my wife thinks I am too hard on them when it comes to their school grades. As their father, I expect nothing less than an A-minus on their report cards. My children participate in multiple activities. For example, I have them taking piano lessons, my daughter takes dance and my son is learning how to play basketball. I want our children to have the best opportunity to go to the colleges of their dreams and live the best life possible. Our neighbors think we are pushing our children too hard. I really do not care what they think because I have to be responsible for my family. Do you think I should take it easy with my children, or should I continue to propel them into greatness? -- A Man With a Plan, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR A MAN WITH A PLAN: Talk to your children to learn how well they are balancing their responsibilities. Listen to them to determine if they are happy or stressed out. It is good to have strong academic performance, athletic ability and extracurricular activities. It is smart for parents to encourage their children to succeed. But it is not wise to pressure them so hard that they feel overwhelmed. Work with your wife to ensure balance as they strive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved my family from Memphis for a job opportunity in New York City. My children went to school in Memphis until eighth grade. Now my children are going to a high school in NYC. They hate going to school because other kids make fun of their southern accents. I wish I could be with my children while they are in school to protect them. Do you have any advice on how I can make my children's transition easier in their new high school? -- Talk to Me, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR TALK TO ME: Children can be cruel, especially to whoever is new in class or different in any way. You can do a few things to support them -- that don't include shadowing them in class! Remind your children of the uniqueness of Memphis, and point out things that they love about their former town. As they get to know students in the school, encourage them to share some of their fun experiences, which will help their way of life be more tangible to their classmates. This storytelling should be focused on interactions with children who are kind.

As far as the bullies go, if those doing the taunting take their name-calling to the extreme, have your children ask for help from teachers. Bullying should not be allowed in school -- period. Curiosity about someone's accent is one thing; deriding children because of how they speak is another. Teachers should monitor this behavior. If your children are uncomfortable speaking up, you may want to have a meeting with their teachers to address this concern.

Finally, teach your children to be lighthearted. They can laugh at themselves sometimes due to their differences from the other students. But that should include helping them to realize that a New York accent is different, too -- to them. They can point that out to their critics. After all, the world is bigger than either of those two cities.

Over time, their accents may soften if they want that to happen. Many people from other regions or parts of the world move to a town and begin to speak like the natives. That will be fine if that is their choice.