DEAR HARRIETTE: I read a disturbing message on a woman's Facebook page the other day. Right after the fashion designer L'Wren Scott took her life, this woman wrote that she really identified with Scott and understood how she could make such a choice. I noticed that a few people immediately wrote her to offer their love and support. I am not close to her, so I was unsure as to how I should respond. I know that life can be tough for people, even when it seems like things are going OK. We really have no idea what troubles people may be having in their lives. I would hate to sit back and do nothing, though. If she were to take her life or even try, I would feel horrible that I didn't reach out. What should someone do in a situation like this when you aren't close to a person who is clearly in distress? -- Wanting to Help, New York City

DEAR WANTING TO HELP: I assume that you are connected somehow on Facebook in order for you to have seen her post. This means that you do at least know each other. You are not strangers. While you may feel uncomfortable calling her (if you even know her number), since you aren't close, you can start by writing to her on her Facebook page to send her love and prayers. You can send her a direct, private message asking if there is anything you can do to support her. Sometimes a person in need feels more comfortable talking to someone who is not so close.

I will also caution that you are not a suicide counselor. This woman may need a professional to help her. You can point her to suicidepreventionlifeline.org for that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son had a friend over for a sleepover, and I noticed that this boy was cursing. I do not allow cursing in my house. These boys are 11 years old. I know that they are in that experimental age, but I don't care. I think it's important for my son to understand what the rules of our house are, and more, for anyone who is in our house to follow them. When I spoke to this boy about cleaning up his language and not cursing while he is at my house, he complied, but my son was so embarrassed he sulked for a while. How can I reinforce my household's rules without embarrassing my boy? -- Follow the Rules, Racine, Wis.

DEAR FOLLOW THE RULES: You can empower your son. Sit down and talk to him about the incident. Tell him that he can help enforce your family's rules by letting his friends know in advance what the guidelines are. If he gives his friends the heads-up and they honor the rules, you will not need to step in. Let him know that. He may appreciate having this role. It may help both of you avoid future embarrassment of this sort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are planning a trip with our three children next month to visit friends and family in California. We made a budget for our family of five to stay in a three-star hotel. My husband wants to bring his mother with us. It will be a tight fit in our SUV, which I do not have a problem with, but what bothers me is that my husband wants his mother to stay with us in our hotel room. I offered to get two rooms, but he feels I am being unreasonable. I feel that three adults and three children is a lot to pack into a small hotel room. This should be a fun and happy time for my family, but I am frustrated and angry over this situation. Am I being unreasonable? Or should I just accept it and deal with being miserable? -- Unhappy Wife, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR UNHAPPY WIFE: You should not go into your vacation with the mindset that it will be a miserable trip for you. Why? Because you will be guaranteeing that you will be looking through a miserable lens the entire time.

Instead, do some research. Find out if the hotel has adjoining rooms. Many hotels offer this option for larger parties. In this way, you can present the option of the space and privacy that two rooms can offer with the proximity that an open door between the rooms provides at the same time. If they have this available and it fits within your budget, present it to your husband.

Be clear with him that your concerns are real about the additional room. Push for this compromise. You need to be a united front before you head west.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just sort of made up with a friend who had been on the outs with me for two years. We recently hung out and had a really good time. We had a misunderstanding a while back, and I thought that we were cool. She brought up how I had hurt her feelings back then, and I sincerely apologized. But then she kept her distance. Anyway, we spent some time together the other day, and it felt like everything was OK. Should I ask her if she is still mad at me or just go with the flow? -- Re-Friended, Detroit

DEAR RE-FRIENDED: A piece of wisdom I can offer is for you to live in the moment. You say that the two of you have made up or at least you are reconnected now after some time. Rather than dredging up the past, be fully present as you engage your friend.

You can follow up with a call, text or email to say how much fun you had and invite her to do something else with you in the near future. It could be that you don't ever need to rehash the past. Trust that your relationship now is healthy and build on that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor stopped by to tell me that she is moving. We have known our neighbors for 20 years. She told me that the company her husband works for has transferred him to Texas, and she asked if we could allow her 17-year-old son to live with my family while he finishes his last year of school here in our town. She also offered to pay room and board. I have a few reservations about my neighbor's son living with us for the remainder of the school year. Last year, he was arrested, and I feel like he will be a negative influence on my children. How can I be assured that my neighbor's son will behave himself for the remaining months of his school year? -- My House is Your House, Salt Lake City

DEAR MY HOUSE IS YOUR HOUSE: You need to have a very candid conversation with your neighbors about this request. Express your concern about their son's arrest record. Find out specifically why he was arrested, and inquire about any trouble they may have had with him in the past. Explain your reservations about exposing him to your children, given your questions about his recent behavior.

Listen carefully to what your neighbor says. Probe until you feel that all of your questions are answered. You may decide this request is too big for your family to shoulder, in which case he may have to transfer schools, just as his parents are transferring their residence. If you decided to give it a try, you can create conditions. For example, if he does not follow your house rules or if he gets in trouble with the law, you will be obliged to send him to his parents. If you are able to come to clear terms that make you and your family comfortable, you may want to help them out in this way. But if your gut continues to say no, then say "no."

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother lives in a residential neighborhood, and I am terrified to walk down the street there by myself. It seems like everyone in his neighborhood owns an aggressive attack dog or two, and I do not think they should have these attack dogs as pets. I like where my brother lives and I would like to bring my children to visit their uncle at his place of residence, but I do not want to see anything bad happen to them. Do you think I am too cautious, or should I bring my children the next time I visit? -- A Cautious Mom, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR A CAUTIOUS MOM: I would never want to bring my children to a place where I felt terrified myself. For now, have your brother come to visit you. Explain your reservations to him so that he understands it isn't personal. You are looking out for your children's well-being. As they get older, you may soften your view.