DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are planning a trip with our three children next month to visit friends and family in California. We made a budget for our family of five to stay in a three-star hotel. My husband wants to bring his mother with us. It will be a tight fit in our SUV, which I do not have a problem with, but what bothers me is that my husband wants his mother to stay with us in our hotel room. I offered to get two rooms, but he feels I am being unreasonable. I feel that three adults and three children is a lot to pack into a small hotel room. This should be a fun and happy time for my family, but I am frustrated and angry over this situation. Am I being unreasonable? Or should I just accept it and deal with being miserable? -- Unhappy Wife, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR UNHAPPY WIFE: You should not go into your vacation with the mindset that it will be a miserable trip for you. Why? Because you will be guaranteeing that you will be looking through a miserable lens the entire time.

Instead, do some research. Find out if the hotel has adjoining rooms. Many hotels offer this option for larger parties. In this way, you can present the option of the space and privacy that two rooms can offer with the proximity that an open door between the rooms provides at the same time. If they have this available and it fits within your budget, present it to your husband.

Be clear with him that your concerns are real about the additional room. Push for this compromise. You need to be a united front before you head west.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just sort of made up with a friend who had been on the outs with me for two years. We recently hung out and had a really good time. We had a misunderstanding a while back, and I thought that we were cool. She brought up how I had hurt her feelings back then, and I sincerely apologized. But then she kept her distance. Anyway, we spent some time together the other day, and it felt like everything was OK. Should I ask her if she is still mad at me or just go with the flow? -- Re-Friended, Detroit

DEAR RE-FRIENDED: A piece of wisdom I can offer is for you to live in the moment. You say that the two of you have made up or at least you are reconnected now after some time. Rather than dredging up the past, be fully present as you engage your friend.

You can follow up with a call, text or email to say how much fun you had and invite her to do something else with you in the near future. It could be that you don't ever need to rehash the past. Trust that your relationship now is healthy and build on that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor stopped by to tell me that she is moving. We have known our neighbors for 20 years. She told me that the company her husband works for has transferred him to Texas, and she asked if we could allow her 17-year-old son to live with my family while he finishes his last year of school here in our town. She also offered to pay room and board. I have a few reservations about my neighbor's son living with us for the remainder of the school year. Last year, he was arrested, and I feel like he will be a negative influence on my children. How can I be assured that my neighbor's son will behave himself for the remaining months of his school year? -- My House is Your House, Salt Lake City

DEAR MY HOUSE IS YOUR HOUSE: You need to have a very candid conversation with your neighbors about this request. Express your concern about their son's arrest record. Find out specifically why he was arrested, and inquire about any trouble they may have had with him in the past. Explain your reservations about exposing him to your children, given your questions about his recent behavior.

Listen carefully to what your neighbor says. Probe until you feel that all of your questions are answered. You may decide this request is too big for your family to shoulder, in which case he may have to transfer schools, just as his parents are transferring their residence. If you decided to give it a try, you can create conditions. For example, if he does not follow your house rules or if he gets in trouble with the law, you will be obliged to send him to his parents. If you are able to come to clear terms that make you and your family comfortable, you may want to help them out in this way. But if your gut continues to say no, then say "no."

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother lives in a residential neighborhood, and I am terrified to walk down the street there by myself. It seems like everyone in his neighborhood owns an aggressive attack dog or two, and I do not think they should have these attack dogs as pets. I like where my brother lives and I would like to bring my children to visit their uncle at his place of residence, but I do not want to see anything bad happen to them. Do you think I am too cautious, or should I bring my children the next time I visit? -- A Cautious Mom, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR A CAUTIOUS MOM: I would never want to bring my children to a place where I felt terrified myself. For now, have your brother come to visit you. Explain your reservations to him so that he understands it isn't personal. You are looking out for your children's well-being. As they get older, you may soften your view.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As much as I try, I cannot seem to get my house clean. I have friends who tell me they think I am a hoarder. I'm not so sure about that. I do know that I have a hard time throwing things away, so I end up having piles of stuff that I can't seem to find a home for. I am tired of being embarrassed by my house. I want to be able to invite people over, but I can never seem to get it together. I don't have a whole lot of money to hire a housekeeper, but even when I have tried that in the past, it didn't really work. There was too much stuff, and each person I hired quit. What can I do? -- Hoarder No More, Boston

DEAR HOARDER NO MORE: You have taken the first step by acknowledging that you have a problem. This is a huge step, by the way. People who hoard have tremendous difficulty letting go of their belongings and differentiating between what is worth keeping and what no longer serves them. So, you do need help, but it's help of a particular kind.

There are professional services that help people who hoard to clear out their spaces. I highly recommend that you reach out to one of them. One national organization that has webinars to support people who hoard as well as services to help you clear out your space before it overtakes you can be found at hoardingcleanup.com/help_for_hoarders.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I talked to a neighbor the other day, and he had the weirdest logic that he wanted me to co-sign, but I just could not. He is way behind in his rent, so much so that the landlord is threatening to throw him out. I felt so bad for him until he explained that when he does get a little money, he uses it first to pay for his cable bill. Since he is out of work, he stays at home most of the time and says that he cannot bear to be without his TV, so he always pays for cable first. Doesn't that sound crazy? He asked my wife and me if we would lend him some money to pay his rent so that he doesn't get thrown out. We were seriously considering it until we learned how he is spending his money. How can we help him? It seems like he needs more help than a one-time handout. -- Perplexed, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your friend has his priorities all wrong. Can you help to open his eyes? That's a great question. You can tell him how you think his situation will play out if he doesn't change his ways, namely that he will have no home and therefore no cable with no ability to watch TV or even have a bed on which to lay his head. Point out that what he must focus on accomplishing is finding a way to be able to pay his back rent and find income to be able to pay moving forward. Tell him that you think his priority should be to secure his home. Then step away. He has to come to terms with his reality. Do not pay his rent. He needs to walk this path and discover what lies at the end.