DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working with a program that helps young people get a leg up. My most recent intern is a friendly, eager young woman who is covered in tattoos. I didn't notice at first, because she was all covered up. But I just saw the tattoos, and they concern me. It's not that I am against tattoos, but I work in a fairly conservative business, and she stands out -- and not in a good way. How can I help her be more modest? -- Inked Out, Bay City, Mich.

DEAR INKED OUT: Talk to this young woman about her dreams and goals. Find out what she wants to do with her life. She may want to choose a career path where tattoos are irrelevant.

Continue the conversation by explaining to her that in some environments, her tats may be too distracting, like at your job. Recommend that she wear long sleeves, turtlenecks or whatever other clothing she can to veil her tattoos when the moment calls for that. She has to learn how to move between different worlds effectively. You can help her learn that navigation. It will be important for her to understand that she need not be ashamed of her body adornment, but she does need to understand that not every environment will welcome them. If she has to be in a situation where her tattoos may cause her discomfort or even cost her an opportunity that she wants, she may want to downplay them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is always whining about how she has to lose weight. She talks about it nonstop, but every time we are together, I see her stuffing her face with sweets and bread and all kinds of heavy foods. I know that she has been going through a rough patch in the past few months, but I am also certain that if she doesn't change her eating habits, she will continue to gain, not lose. Since she does bring this up to me all the time, do you think it would be OK for me to say something? -- Wanting to Help, Grand Rapids, Mich.

DEAR WANTING TO HELP: It is possible that your friend has not yet connected the dots between her eating habits and her weight gain, even though she acknowledges that she needs to slim down. She may be able to hear you if you point out that you have learned that foods like celery, fruits and vegetables are far better for your body in general, but especially when you are trying to lose weight.

Recommend that she consider preparing some snacks that are delicious and low calorie. One great source for such recipes is greatist.com/health/88-unexpected-snacks-under-100-calories. If you are so inclined, offer to travel on this journey with your friend. The two of you can make healthy snacks that you bring to work. You can talk about the creative options you discover and revel in their good taste.

You may also recommend to your friend that she see a nutritionist who can help put her on a plan designed for her body to get her healthy and trim.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother with two children under 5 years old. My husband and I live in a small community, and I feel terrible because I do not have the energy to volunteer at church or participate on any of the committees that are in my town. When asked to help, I often decline. I do read to the preschoolers once a month at the library. I want to do more for my community, but I have the two children to take care of. What can I do in the meantime? -- A Heart to Help, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR A HEART TO HELP: When children are small, the job of a parent is to care for them, if not also to work a job. You should not feel bad because you are focused on caring for your children. That is your primary responsibility. It sounds like you have found at least one activity, the monthly reading, that allows you to contribute to your community. Be satisfied with that level of volunteering for now.

As your children grow up, you can widen your prospects and still care for them by finding volunteer opportunities that can include your children. Talk to any moms that you meet at the library or elsewhere to learn what types of things they do. You will discover what makes sense for you that also fits within your schedule.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who only works on average three hours a day, in an eight-hour workday schedule. She spends most of her time at lunch, shopping, making personal phone calls and chatting with other workers. She has been with the company for two years, and I do not see how she keeps her job. Her behavior makes me think she has no respect for her fellow co-workers, and I have to pick up her slack. Should I make waves and complain about her performance, or go with the flow? -- Working Nine to Nine, Salt Lake City

DEAR WORKING NINE TO NINE: Why do you feel you have to pick up her slack? That is the real question. I recommend that you do your job with full focus and attention. Be thorough in getting your work done, but leave her work for her to complete. If she doesn't finish it and she asks you for help, call her out on her behavior. Tell her that you believe she isn't getting her work done because her priorities are elsewhere. Be sure to let her know that you do not intend to continue to pick up her slack anymore.

Your chat with her may jumpstart her engine. If not, you can either let the scene ride out if you think it won't impact upon you negatively, or you can go to your boss to say that you are concerned about workflow. Rather than going into detail about what this employee is or is not doing, point out that you believe that she often does not complete her work, which makes it fall on you to get it done.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 27-year-old man interested in a woman at work. We are almost the same age, and she is attractive. Our company does not like its employees to date each other. What should I do? I like my job, and I like my female co-worker. How do I ask her out on a date without risking my job? -- Young in Love, Chicago

DEAR YOUNG IN LOVE: Check to see if your company has written guidelines about staff members dating each other. If so, recognize that if you choose to ignore those guidelines, it could rightfully cost you your job. If the idea of not dating at work is more of an implication than a hard and fast rule, you may have some leeway. Not much, though. The culture of an organization is the blood that pumps through its veins. Part of the reason that the company may discourage employees from dating is that such relationships can be distractions.

That said, if you feel the urge to date this woman so strongly that you are willing to risk the potential repercussions, invite her to go out with you on the weekend. Get to know her outside of your office. If you two like each other, remain discreet, which includes NOT texting, flirting or spending time together on the job. If you are able to do your work without being affected by a potentially budding romance, you may be OK. Eventually, though, if you two become a real couple, you may want to tell your bosses so that they don't feel duped when they find out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 40-year-old daughter who is a single mother with her own 4-year-old daughter. She is planning to move in with her boyfriend, and I am not in favor of this. I think a man and a woman who has a child should be married before they decide to move in together. I do not think it is a good idea, and I see many problems ahead. -- Traditional in My Ways, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR TRADITIONAL IN MY WAYS: Your daughter is 40 years old! That means she is a grown woman who has been making decisions for herself for a long time. While you have every right to be concerned about her welfare, you do not have the right to govern her life.

You can ask her questions about her plans. In those questions, attempt to be neutral, not judgmental. Tell her that you are concerned about her welfare and that of her daughter. Remind her that you believe in the commitment inherent in marriage, and that you especially wish that for her because she has a child. Outline your concerns. Share them with her, and be prepared to step back and let her live her life. The best you can do is state your case and then be supportive of her in whatever ways that you can.