DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother with two children under 5 years old. My husband and I live in a small community, and I feel terrible because I do not have the energy to volunteer at church or participate on any of the committees that are in my town. When asked to help, I often decline. I do read to the preschoolers once a month at the library. I want to do more for my community, but I have the two children to take care of. What can I do in the meantime? -- A Heart to Help, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR A HEART TO HELP: When children are small, the job of a parent is to care for them, if not also to work a job. You should not feel bad because you are focused on caring for your children. That is your primary responsibility. It sounds like you have found at least one activity, the monthly reading, that allows you to contribute to your community. Be satisfied with that level of volunteering for now.

As your children grow up, you can widen your prospects and still care for them by finding volunteer opportunities that can include your children. Talk to any moms that you meet at the library or elsewhere to learn what types of things they do. You will discover what makes sense for you that also fits within your schedule.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who only works on average three hours a day, in an eight-hour workday schedule. She spends most of her time at lunch, shopping, making personal phone calls and chatting with other workers. She has been with the company for two years, and I do not see how she keeps her job. Her behavior makes me think she has no respect for her fellow co-workers, and I have to pick up her slack. Should I make waves and complain about her performance, or go with the flow? -- Working Nine to Nine, Salt Lake City

DEAR WORKING NINE TO NINE: Why do you feel you have to pick up her slack? That is the real question. I recommend that you do your job with full focus and attention. Be thorough in getting your work done, but leave her work for her to complete. If she doesn't finish it and she asks you for help, call her out on her behavior. Tell her that you believe she isn't getting her work done because her priorities are elsewhere. Be sure to let her know that you do not intend to continue to pick up her slack anymore.

Your chat with her may jumpstart her engine. If not, you can either let the scene ride out if you think it won't impact upon you negatively, or you can go to your boss to say that you are concerned about workflow. Rather than going into detail about what this employee is or is not doing, point out that you believe that she often does not complete her work, which makes it fall on you to get it done.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 27-year-old man interested in a woman at work. We are almost the same age, and she is attractive. Our company does not like its employees to date each other. What should I do? I like my job, and I like my female co-worker. How do I ask her out on a date without risking my job? -- Young in Love, Chicago

DEAR YOUNG IN LOVE: Check to see if your company has written guidelines about staff members dating each other. If so, recognize that if you choose to ignore those guidelines, it could rightfully cost you your job. If the idea of not dating at work is more of an implication than a hard and fast rule, you may have some leeway. Not much, though. The culture of an organization is the blood that pumps through its veins. Part of the reason that the company may discourage employees from dating is that such relationships can be distractions.

That said, if you feel the urge to date this woman so strongly that you are willing to risk the potential repercussions, invite her to go out with you on the weekend. Get to know her outside of your office. If you two like each other, remain discreet, which includes NOT texting, flirting or spending time together on the job. If you are able to do your work without being affected by a potentially budding romance, you may be OK. Eventually, though, if you two become a real couple, you may want to tell your bosses so that they don't feel duped when they find out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 40-year-old daughter who is a single mother with her own 4-year-old daughter. She is planning to move in with her boyfriend, and I am not in favor of this. I think a man and a woman who has a child should be married before they decide to move in together. I do not think it is a good idea, and I see many problems ahead. -- Traditional in My Ways, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR TRADITIONAL IN MY WAYS: Your daughter is 40 years old! That means she is a grown woman who has been making decisions for herself for a long time. While you have every right to be concerned about her welfare, you do not have the right to govern her life.

You can ask her questions about her plans. In those questions, attempt to be neutral, not judgmental. Tell her that you are concerned about her welfare and that of her daughter. Remind her that you believe in the commitment inherent in marriage, and that you especially wish that for her because she has a child. Outline your concerns. Share them with her, and be prepared to step back and let her live her life. The best you can do is state your case and then be supportive of her in whatever ways that you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been so sad lately, and I can't seem to snap out of it. Everything seems to be falling apart. My bills are way behind. I'm afraid to answer the phone for fear of another creditor threatening me. My husband just left me. I lost my job six months ago. I'm not kidding. All these things have happened. On the positive side, some friends have helped me out. I stayed on one friend's sofa for a month, since my husband put me out when he broke up with me. I've been in a shelter for a few weeks, but it's horrible. I don't feel like my life is worth much anymore. I don't see how it could possibly get better, and I have nowhere to turn. I feel like giving up for real. Can you help me? -- Lost, Chicago

DEAR LOST: Thank you so much for writing to me. It shows that you haven't totally given up yet. With the list of bad things that have happened to you, it's understandable that you would feel depressed. It is normal to sink into melancholy when so many negative things encroach upon your life.

That said, you do not have to give up. You do not need to be alone. In fact, I recommend that you not be alone right now. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. You can also touch base with any friends you have who are available to lend an ear, a sofa or some love. Your life can get better. Get help now. Your life is worth it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met this man last week in the neighborhood pharmacy. We spoke to each other for a few minutes, and in the middle of our conversation, I discovered that he owns his own business, just like me. I am excited because we have the same aspirations of working for ourselves, and, more important, I did not use a social media website to meet him. The potential for a relationship sounds promising, but I have some concerns. For example, when would we find the time to date each other? Do you think it is a good idea to work together on a few projects? I am thinking we can make money together and see each other at the same time. -- What a Girl Wants, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR WHAT A GIRL WANTS: It's a little soon to know if this meeting could become a relationship yet. It is great that you met someone who shares some common interests with you. Though you are both busy, it is possible to carve out time to go out, to talk on the phone, etc. If you cannot find any time, that does not bode well for a relationship in general.

If it feels natural to work on a project together, that could be an option. But I caution you to get to know each other first to see if you are compatible as friends and to discover if you share business values.