DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 27-year-old man interested in a woman at work. We are almost the same age, and she is attractive. Our company does not like its employees to date each other. What should I do? I like my job, and I like my female co-worker. How do I ask her out on a date without risking my job? -- Young in Love, Chicago

DEAR YOUNG IN LOVE: Check to see if your company has written guidelines about staff members dating each other. If so, recognize that if you choose to ignore those guidelines, it could rightfully cost you your job. If the idea of not dating at work is more of an implication than a hard and fast rule, you may have some leeway. Not much, though. The culture of an organization is the blood that pumps through its veins. Part of the reason that the company may discourage employees from dating is that such relationships can be distractions.

That said, if you feel the urge to date this woman so strongly that you are willing to risk the potential repercussions, invite her to go out with you on the weekend. Get to know her outside of your office. If you two like each other, remain discreet, which includes NOT texting, flirting or spending time together on the job. If you are able to do your work without being affected by a potentially budding romance, you may be OK. Eventually, though, if you two become a real couple, you may want to tell your bosses so that they don't feel duped when they find out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 40-year-old daughter who is a single mother with her own 4-year-old daughter. She is planning to move in with her boyfriend, and I am not in favor of this. I think a man and a woman who has a child should be married before they decide to move in together. I do not think it is a good idea, and I see many problems ahead. -- Traditional in My Ways, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR TRADITIONAL IN MY WAYS: Your daughter is 40 years old! That means she is a grown woman who has been making decisions for herself for a long time. While you have every right to be concerned about her welfare, you do not have the right to govern her life.

You can ask her questions about her plans. In those questions, attempt to be neutral, not judgmental. Tell her that you are concerned about her welfare and that of her daughter. Remind her that you believe in the commitment inherent in marriage, and that you especially wish that for her because she has a child. Outline your concerns. Share them with her, and be prepared to step back and let her live her life. The best you can do is state your case and then be supportive of her in whatever ways that you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been so sad lately, and I can't seem to snap out of it. Everything seems to be falling apart. My bills are way behind. I'm afraid to answer the phone for fear of another creditor threatening me. My husband just left me. I lost my job six months ago. I'm not kidding. All these things have happened. On the positive side, some friends have helped me out. I stayed on one friend's sofa for a month, since my husband put me out when he broke up with me. I've been in a shelter for a few weeks, but it's horrible. I don't feel like my life is worth much anymore. I don't see how it could possibly get better, and I have nowhere to turn. I feel like giving up for real. Can you help me? -- Lost, Chicago

DEAR LOST: Thank you so much for writing to me. It shows that you haven't totally given up yet. With the list of bad things that have happened to you, it's understandable that you would feel depressed. It is normal to sink into melancholy when so many negative things encroach upon your life.

That said, you do not have to give up. You do not need to be alone. In fact, I recommend that you not be alone right now. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. You can also touch base with any friends you have who are available to lend an ear, a sofa or some love. Your life can get better. Get help now. Your life is worth it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met this man last week in the neighborhood pharmacy. We spoke to each other for a few minutes, and in the middle of our conversation, I discovered that he owns his own business, just like me. I am excited because we have the same aspirations of working for ourselves, and, more important, I did not use a social media website to meet him. The potential for a relationship sounds promising, but I have some concerns. For example, when would we find the time to date each other? Do you think it is a good idea to work together on a few projects? I am thinking we can make money together and see each other at the same time. -- What a Girl Wants, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR WHAT A GIRL WANTS: It's a little soon to know if this meeting could become a relationship yet. It is great that you met someone who shares some common interests with you. Though you are both busy, it is possible to carve out time to go out, to talk on the phone, etc. If you cannot find any time, that does not bode well for a relationship in general.

If it feels natural to work on a project together, that could be an option. But I caution you to get to know each other first to see if you are compatible as friends and to discover if you share business values.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was doing the laundry the other day and found a business card with a woman's personal cellphone number in my husband's pants pocket. I know that it could be completely innocent, but he wore those pants on a night when he stayed out exceptionally late. When I asked him where he had been, he sort of brushed me off. He smelled like he had been drinking, which is not the norm for him. I don't want it to be true that he is having an affair or even thinking about it, but it really troubled me. I know I could be overthinking this. What should I say to find out the truth? -- Possibly Betrayed, Detroit

DEAR POSSIBLY BETRAYED: Rather than letting your mind get the best of you, talk to your husband. Pick a time when he is fully awake, sober and free of distractions. Express your concern about his behavior on that ill-fated day when he came home intoxicated. Tell him you found the business card in his pocket and it sounded an internal alarm for you. Ask him what is going on. Be direct. Ask him who the woman is on the card. If you actually do suspect that he had an affair or is considering it, tell him of your suspicions and ask him to think about your marriage before crossing that line.

Will he answer you honestly? That is hard to say. Watch his body language to see what his being is telling you. Ask him if he is committed to your marriage. If so, choose to figure out things you can do together that can strengthen your bond.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are separating after 14 years of marriage. We have two sons, and they are having a terrible time dealing with it. My husband has said some horrible things about me to them, and I fear that he is teaching them bad ways to treat woman. I know I don't have any control over what he says or does, but I am distraught by it all. It's bad enough that he is dumping me for another woman. Why does he have to bad-mouth me, too? What can I do to help my boys learn how to be good men? -- Ferocious Mom, Westchester, N.Y.

DEAR FEROCIOUS MOM: Somehow, you need to get to your husband and remind him that the two of you will always be parents to your children. Ask him to try to remember this as you go through your divorce. Appeal to his love for the children as a reason that he should resist speaking negatively about you or your marriage. Suggest that it is possible to break up without being disrespectful and that this is important for your sons' health and well-being.

If necessary, get your attorney involved. If you believe that he will continue to defile your name, ask your attorney to go to court to request a hearing to discuss custody of the children.