DEAR HARRIETTE: I was doing the laundry the other day and found a business card with a woman's personal cellphone number in my husband's pants pocket. I know that it could be completely innocent, but he wore those pants on a night when he stayed out exceptionally late. When I asked him where he had been, he sort of brushed me off. He smelled like he had been drinking, which is not the norm for him. I don't want it to be true that he is having an affair or even thinking about it, but it really troubled me. I know I could be overthinking this. What should I say to find out the truth? -- Possibly Betrayed, Detroit
DEAR POSSIBLY BETRAYED: Rather than letting your mind get the best of you, talk to your husband. Pick a time when he is fully awake, sober and free of distractions. Express your concern about his behavior on that ill-fated day when he came home intoxicated. Tell him you found the business card in his pocket and it sounded an internal alarm for you. Ask him what is going on. Be direct. Ask him who the woman is on the card. If you actually do suspect that he had an affair or is considering it, tell him of your suspicions and ask him to think about your marriage before crossing that line.
Will he answer you honestly? That is hard to say. Watch his body language to see what his being is telling you. Ask him if he is committed to your marriage. If so, choose to figure out things you can do together that can strengthen your bond.