life

Daughter's Dandruff Is Easily Treatable

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 5th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 7-year-old daughter has dandruff. I don't understand it. I wash her hair thoroughly and condition it well. She doesn't share hairbrushes with other children. She has dandruff that you can't even believe. I need to get this under control. -- Flaky, Salt Lake City

DEAR FLAKY: Guess what? Dandruff is a common scalp condition for children and adults. I know that doesn't make it any easier for you to handle, but it is important to know that you are not alone in your struggle to get your daughter's dandruff under control.

Experts suggest that dandruff may be caused by a number of things, including not washing the hair often enough or even washing it too much. Oily skin or particularly dry scalps can be culprits as well. Skin conditions like eczema or psoriasis may be contributors. Even the weather or dryness of the air can pose a higher chance for you to experience dandruff. (See The Mayo Clinic's thoughts here: mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dandruff/basics/causes/con-20023690).

There are many over-the-counter solutions that have worked for people, including Selsun Blue and Sulphur 8. I can tell you from experience that neither of these products has a winning aroma, but they work when used together. If you use over-the-counter products that do not work in a few weeks' time, go to your daughter's pediatrician for more help.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for March 05, 2014

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 5th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so jealous of my single friends. They seem to have so much fun hanging out at new restaurants and being invited to all the cool stuff while I am juggling work, my husband and our toddler. Don't get me wrong; I love my family, but I miss being able to have even a little bit of fun with my girlfriends.

I don't get invited to anything anymore. I know I'm not part of the "in crowd," but I thought my friends wouldn't drop me just like that. Once my son was born, they came over to visit a little bit and bought me presents, but after a few months -- crickets. I feel so isolated. I love my husband, but he doesn't want to talk about all the stuff that my girls and I used to talk about. I am beginning to make friends with a few moms, but I don't want to lose my single girlfriends entirely. What can I do? -- Lonely, Denver

DEAR LONELY: Your life has transitioned, but your heart hasn't settled yet. Your life is completely different from those of your single girlfriends. They have time to hang out. They do not have your same measure of responsibilities. They also do not have your same return on investment, at least from a family perspective. You may be surprised to learn that one or more of them may envy you.

Envy and jealousy will not help matters here. Arrange with your husband to clear one night every couple of weeks when you can spend time with your friends. Call and let them know you miss them and want to hang out with them. Ask if they are up for a biweekly or monthly date. You can have your cake and eat it, too, though the slice may be smaller!

life

Reader Must Ask Brother for Money

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 4th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a trip with my family as a special tribute even though I couldn't afford it. My brother said he would reimburse me for the cost of travel to help ease my burden. I thought that was so nice of him. He is busy with his work and his life, and he forgot to give me a check or cash when we were all together. Several weeks have passed, and he still hasn't sent me the money. I called him once to remind him, and he assured me he would do it right away. I feel horrible having to grovel for this money, but I would not have attended had he not promised to pay my way. What can I do? -- Broke, Cincinnati

DEAR BROKE: You can call your brother again and remind him to send you a check or wire you the money. It is easy to do now through services like PayPal or Chase QuickPay, among others. Tell him you need it right away.

In the future, don't put yourself in that position. Do not spend money that you don't have. If you have to miss family events or other activities, miss them. Focus on getting your finances straight, and then you can be clear on what you are able to afford. A simple and powerful book to read is "The One Week Budget: Learn to Create Your Money Management System in 7 Days or Less," by The Budgetnista.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for March 04, 2014

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 4th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: Another source of halitosis that is not commonly known is from "cryptic tonsils." My dentist didn't even know what they were when he used a pick to extract a glob of white, hardened food debris showing under the skin from the back of my mouth. I could see it, but had no idea what it was.

I went to my ENT, who told me that some people's tonsils have indentations, or "crypts," around the tissue, which leads to food accumulating and decomposing, hence the bad odor. I went back to my dentist and asked the dental assistants, who had not heard of this source of halitosis either. I Googled "cryptic tonsils" and found home-care solutions from Internet users who had the same problem. Now I am very careful not to eat soft white bread and to clean my teeth and mouth after everything I eat. I also use my finger (in the privacy of my bathroom) to search around those areas where food might be accumulating and smell my fingertip to see if there is an odor. Then I work at getting the offending food particles out. I am surprised that this is not more common knowledge. Sometimes all the breath mints and mouthwash in the world do not help someone if cryptic tonsils are the problem. -- Clean Mouth, Chicago

DEAR CLEAN MOUTH: I really appreciate your input as well as the many people who have written in with their experiences of halitosis and its causes and prevention. What is clear is that there are many reasons that people can suffer from bad breath. Many of them are health-related and extend far beyond whether they brush their teeth thoroughly.

The first stop when dealing with halitosis can be your dentist, followed immediately by your internist so that you can get to the root of your problem.

life

Boss Realizes Weather May Be Reason for Grumpiness

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 3rd, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am feeling totally stressed out, and I cannot sleep. I have been having verbal fights at work over what seems like a thousand disagreements on basic things. It is irritating me to no end. Honestly, I feel like the weather is getting everybody crabby and the littlest thing is setting people off. I want to help change the mood in the office, but I don't know how. I think our team is a good one. My co-workers are usually nice people, even though they are not acting nice at all right now -- me included. I am in charge of this team, and I think it is my responsibility to do something. What can I do to make things better? -- Crabby, Detroit

DEAR CRABBY: You've taken the first step by acknowledging that you are not in a good mood and that it is affecting your work and your relationships in the office. Could the weather be a part of it? Possibly. This has been the worst winter on record in decades.

What you may want to do is go to work with a refreshed attitude and point out the obvious. Tell your team members that you realize you have not been in a good mood and it seems like nobody else has been either. State your epiphany that the nasty weather has contributed to your all-around negative state. Ask your team if they know what you mean and how they are feeling. Find out if there are any specific issues that need to be addressed workwise, and see if you can help manage them.

Present the team with hot chocolate and cookies or some other such treat to show that you want everybody to have a happy moment and ease up on the tension. Ask them to work with you and each other to be kinder and gentler through this tough season.

life

Sense & Sensitivity for March 03, 2014

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | March 3rd, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just saw myself in the mirror, and I am horrified. I don't know why I didn't notice that I have gotten fat. It seems to have crept up on me. I'm no hermit or anything. I have been busy living and working and, yes, eating, I guess. I don't really think I eat all that much more than I used to. Now that I am in my 50s, everything has changed, including my body. I don't want to be fat, but I bet I need to lose like 50 pounds. Should I join one of those diet programs? I am so embarrassed. -- The Real Biggest Loser, Chicago

DEAR THE REAL BIGGEST LOSER: Believe it or not, your reflection in the mirror was the best thing that could have happened to you. Now you know for certain that you have work to do. Start by getting a complete physical. Check to see if you have any underlying health concerns that need to be addressed. Ask your doctor to refer you to a nutritionist.

Start to move your body. You can decide to walk every day. Or exercise to a video. Join a gym if you think you will go. Many people go to WeightWatchers to help them get on track. Take action now!

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