DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call from an old friend -- well, acquaintance -- who wanted me to help another friend by meeting with him to see if I might hire his company for a job. As we talked, I realized that I could use this person's services for a project I was working on. Excited about the possibility, I had my friend connect us. It seemed like this guy's company could do a good job for me, so I hired him. Well, it has not worked out well at all. He has turned out to be a nightmare. I am surprised at how unprofessional he and his team have been. Now we are locked in a contract and trying to work our way through the whole thing, but it is a major problem. Part of me wants to handle this independently. Another part wants to let my friend know that this guy and his company are bad news. I would never hire them again, and I think she should know since I met them based on her referral. What do you think? -- Tattletale, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR TATTLETALE: You should handle your business with this man and his company independently of your friend. You hired him, and it is important that you remain professional. At the same time, when the dust has settled, you should also be in touch with the friend who referred him to you. Your friend should know that the referral went south. Be prepared to share specific details about what didn't work in a spirit of sharing professional information. Do not bad-mouth the man or his company. Stick to the facts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother is getting up in age, and she is beginning to need a lot of help. My siblings live very near to her. Even so, they always call on me to take care of things, especially if there is ever a bill to pay. All of us work, and none of us is rich by a long shot. I think we should all be working together to help Mom. Whenever I make that suggestion, they balk and say, "What do you know? You aren't even here to see what's going on." I do live farther away, but I come to visit almost every month, and I give whatever financial support I have. I feel like they are trying to guilt me into paying more since I can't be there. I hate this. I would do anything for my mother, and I feel like they should not take advantage of that. -- Spent, Cincinnati

DEAR SPENT: Call a family meeting when you can all be face-to-face. Suggest that in preparation for the meeting, everyone assess what your mother's needs are. At the meeting, discuss every item listed and assign each task to someone. When it comes to paying for things, talk openly about your concerns, and ask your siblings to voice theirs as well. If you can itemize what each person will contribute in writing, it may make it easier to share the responsibility.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My former boss hired me to go with her to her new company to help build up the business. She trusted me to set up systems that would help this company be efficient, and I did exactly that. Turns out, though, that we did not often agree on the approach. I am a systems guy, and I believe in delivering information in a clear and concise way so that others understand what is expected of them and on what timeline. My boss, on the other hand, is very touchy-feely. She likes to talk to people about how they like what we are doing, and she lets people get away with things if they act "nice." I did not think that was a good strategy. Whenever we talked about styles, it became an issue. After a year, I gave up. I quit my job because it was clear to me that we were never going to come to a meeting of the minds. I think I left on decent terms, but I am concerned about how to move on and get a job that works for me. -- At a Brick Wall, Denver

DEAR AT A BRICK WALL: I'm sorry that you did not figure out a way to transition into a new job while you still had a job. That is usually an easier way to make a career transition. That said, as you now look for work, learn about the corporate culture where you are interviewing. Find out what the management style is like at a potential employer. You may also want to do some research in the field of emotional intelligence. You may discover that there is a bridge between systems and learning how to manage emotions that will help you become a more effective leader. Harvard professor Daniel Goleman has spent many years writing on the subject. Check out danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a life coach who has been incredibly helpful to me in the past few months. I was supposed to call her last week when we had that crazy snowstorm in Atlanta, and I couldn't do it. I was freaked out because my son was stuck at his school overnight and my car was stuck on the highway. I lost my cool and got really sad and depressed. I remembered our call a few hours later and sent her a note apologizing for standing her up. Now I feel weird. Should I pay her for the time we didn't have together? I don't want her to think I don't value her time, but I also don't really want to pay for a session that I didn't have. -- Betwixt, Atlanta

DEAR BETWIXT: Call your life coach and tell her your predicament. Apologize again for not showing up on time for your call. Ask her if she would consider waiving her fee this one time, due to extenuating circumstances. Chances are good that she will be understanding, given the nature of what happened. Following up right away is what's most important.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends stay at my apartment a couple of nights during the week. It's a nice apartment and convenient to where they work, plus they live far away. They could at least help out with paying for the toilet paper or groceries, but I don't know how to get that point across, especially since they are on budgets. They see me as privileged and think I don't need help financially. What should I say? -- Feeling Unappreciated, New York City

DEAR FEELING UNAPPRECIATED: There is a simple solution to your problem: You must establish house rules with your friends. This starts with your acknowledging that you, too, have a budget. Honestly, everyone should, regardless of how much money you have.

Sit your friends down and tell them that now that you have established a pattern with them where they live at your apartment on a weekly basis, you want to review what is important to you for them to do. Point out that now that you have more people in the house, provisions run out much more quickly. Tell them that you would like for them to contribute to the weekly budget for toiletries, including toilet paper, and food. You can come up with a weekly number that feels right, or ask them to purchase certain items on a regular basis so that they can be active participants in keeping the household going.

I doubt that they will mention your "privilege," but if they do, point out to them that everyone has a budget, including you. You are attempting to be responsible as far as managing your household, and you ask them to honor that while they are staying with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: While your advice for "Feeling Used" and his family members to hire a financial planner was a positive step, from experience, I would make one more recommendation.

Before Feeling Used allows family members to depend financially on him, he should recommend that they take part in a financial class, such as the Dave Ramsey class.

Feeling Used could explain that there may be a day when he is no longer able to help or something would happen to him that would leave family members in a difficult situation. Feeling Used could explain that it would be a disservice to fail to prepare them for the future.

If the family members do not want to take steps to manage their own finances, then Feeling Used would know their motive is to depend on his fiscal responsibility and not develop their own. He can determine from there how much he wants to contribute to members who want him to finance them. -- Draw the Line, Sparta, Mich.

DEAR DRAW THE LINE: Education is everything, isn't it? Thank you for your guidance on how to protect your money and your family. When all parties are being responsible, it's less likely that anybody gets abused.