DEAR HARRIETTE: My former boss hired me to go with her to her new company to help build up the business. She trusted me to set up systems that would help this company be efficient, and I did exactly that. Turns out, though, that we did not often agree on the approach. I am a systems guy, and I believe in delivering information in a clear and concise way so that others understand what is expected of them and on what timeline. My boss, on the other hand, is very touchy-feely. She likes to talk to people about how they like what we are doing, and she lets people get away with things if they act "nice." I did not think that was a good strategy. Whenever we talked about styles, it became an issue. After a year, I gave up. I quit my job because it was clear to me that we were never going to come to a meeting of the minds. I think I left on decent terms, but I am concerned about how to move on and get a job that works for me. -- At a Brick Wall, Denver

DEAR AT A BRICK WALL: I'm sorry that you did not figure out a way to transition into a new job while you still had a job. That is usually an easier way to make a career transition. That said, as you now look for work, learn about the corporate culture where you are interviewing. Find out what the management style is like at a potential employer. You may also want to do some research in the field of emotional intelligence. You may discover that there is a bridge between systems and learning how to manage emotions that will help you become a more effective leader. Harvard professor Daniel Goleman has spent many years writing on the subject. Check out danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a life coach who has been incredibly helpful to me in the past few months. I was supposed to call her last week when we had that crazy snowstorm in Atlanta, and I couldn't do it. I was freaked out because my son was stuck at his school overnight and my car was stuck on the highway. I lost my cool and got really sad and depressed. I remembered our call a few hours later and sent her a note apologizing for standing her up. Now I feel weird. Should I pay her for the time we didn't have together? I don't want her to think I don't value her time, but I also don't really want to pay for a session that I didn't have. -- Betwixt, Atlanta

DEAR BETWIXT: Call your life coach and tell her your predicament. Apologize again for not showing up on time for your call. Ask her if she would consider waiving her fee this one time, due to extenuating circumstances. Chances are good that she will be understanding, given the nature of what happened. Following up right away is what's most important.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends stay at my apartment a couple of nights during the week. It's a nice apartment and convenient to where they work, plus they live far away. They could at least help out with paying for the toilet paper or groceries, but I don't know how to get that point across, especially since they are on budgets. They see me as privileged and think I don't need help financially. What should I say? -- Feeling Unappreciated, New York City

DEAR FEELING UNAPPRECIATED: There is a simple solution to your problem: You must establish house rules with your friends. This starts with your acknowledging that you, too, have a budget. Honestly, everyone should, regardless of how much money you have.

Sit your friends down and tell them that now that you have established a pattern with them where they live at your apartment on a weekly basis, you want to review what is important to you for them to do. Point out that now that you have more people in the house, provisions run out much more quickly. Tell them that you would like for them to contribute to the weekly budget for toiletries, including toilet paper, and food. You can come up with a weekly number that feels right, or ask them to purchase certain items on a regular basis so that they can be active participants in keeping the household going.

I doubt that they will mention your "privilege," but if they do, point out to them that everyone has a budget, including you. You are attempting to be responsible as far as managing your household, and you ask them to honor that while they are staying with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: While your advice for "Feeling Used" and his family members to hire a financial planner was a positive step, from experience, I would make one more recommendation.

Before Feeling Used allows family members to depend financially on him, he should recommend that they take part in a financial class, such as the Dave Ramsey class.

Feeling Used could explain that there may be a day when he is no longer able to help or something would happen to him that would leave family members in a difficult situation. Feeling Used could explain that it would be a disservice to fail to prepare them for the future.

If the family members do not want to take steps to manage their own finances, then Feeling Used would know their motive is to depend on his fiscal responsibility and not develop their own. He can determine from there how much he wants to contribute to members who want him to finance them. -- Draw the Line, Sparta, Mich.

DEAR DRAW THE LINE: Education is everything, isn't it? Thank you for your guidance on how to protect your money and your family. When all parties are being responsible, it's less likely that anybody gets abused.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to help a friend secure a wine sponsor for her upcoming comedy show, and I was able to do so in a timely manner. My friend was happy, and she asked me to help promote the event. I am uncomfortable with the idea of promoting the event because I have lot of friends who are very religious. They will not attend an event that serves wine, and more importantly, I do not want to deal with my spiritual adviser if word gets back to him. People need to laugh, and I don't see the big deal if someone has a drink to loosen up, but I'm not trying to wave the flag and promote it either. Can I please everybody? -- A Conflict of Interest, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR A CONFLICT OF INTEREST: The mistake you made was starting down this road in the first place. If you knew that your spiritual community would disapprove of your involvement with alcohol and this community's opinion of you really matters, you probably should not have involved yourself in securing the alcohol in the first place.

That said, you do not have to accept the next role. For one, if the community you would promote this event to is your church community and you know they would be offended, you can tell that to your friend. If you are a promoter and know how to reach more broadly -- and you want to promote this event -- treat it simply as a job and invite the people you believe would enjoy the event. Do not invite your church members.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I can't take it any longer with my boyfriend. He is needy all the time, and I'm a girl who needs my space. I want to end it now, but he bought tickets for a band I really like. Is it wrong to break up with him after? Or should I do it before? -- Wanting to Do the Right Thing, Jacksonville, Fla.

DEAR WANTING TO DO THE RIGHT THING: Weigh the pros and cons of the moment. Do you think you could genuinely enjoy spending the evening with your boyfriend at this show? I do not mean would you independently have fun? If you believe that the two of you could share a meaningful experience that you both will value later, then I say go to the concert. Why? Because you will have a positive memory of your relationship after it ends. Do not break up with him at the end of the event, though. Do not link the two. Instead, thank him for his generosity that night and put a period on that experience.

At another time, get together and tell him that you do not think that the relationship is going well. Talk about what you have enjoyed and what concerns you. Explain what space looks like to you. Tell him that you question whether he can give you that space. Sometimes when you lay things out in black and white, people hear them differently. Perhaps he can change. You may never have been this direct with him about it. If it sounds like you can work together to give it another shot, do so. If not, tell him you are ready to end it.