DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a party with a group of friends, and my friend who was driving had way too much to drink. We tried to take her keys away from her, but she refused and got quite loud. In the end, my husband and I refused to ride with her. We learned that she got home safely, but we were really upset that she wouldn't let us help her. She claimed that she is grown and can do what she wants. So she blew us off.

I always see these notices that friends should not let friends drive drunk. We really tried, but we were unsuccessful. What can you do if your friend doesn't go along with the safety program? -- Unsafe, Boston

DEAR UNSAFE: You took the right action to attempt to take the keys away from your friend. That she got loud is not reason enough to stop trying to get those keys. Instead of giving up, you could have asked other friends to help you talk her down. You could have offered to call her a cab, or suggested that you would give her a ride home or allow her to sleep over.

What was dangerous was leaving her at the party. While she is not ultimately your responsibility, it would have been smart for you to wrest those keys from her in virtually any way possible. Too many people die because they get behind the wheel when under the influence. You would be devastated if you left your friend in a position like that. Let her be mad at you -- at least she'll be alive. For ideas, visit: friendsdrivesober.org/student_involvement/stop_a_friend.html.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been feeling lethargic lately. I know part of it is because I have had very little work, which is depressing. I try so hard, but I work freelance and hardly anybody is hiring. I have had to negotiate payment plans with everybody in my life, it seems. I'm afraid to pick up the phone for fear of another bill collector calling. I find myself sleeping less and waking up late. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking around like a zombie with no energy at all. None of this is helping my job prospects. I hate it, but I don't know what to do. -- Depressed, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR DEPRESSED: It is possible to become depressed when you are short on money and can't figure out how to climb out of a hole. It could also be true that you have underlying health concerns that are making you feel fatigued.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to go to the doctor and get a checkup. If you do not have insurance, find a free clinic in your city. Describe your physical and emotional symptoms to a doctor, and ask for a complete physical. Diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes can cause fatigue, as can depression. Find out if you are suffering from an illness. If so, get the help you need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need your help. I am a single mother of three children, and my oldest daughter recently had a baby girl. Now I have four children to take care of, and I need a strategy to keep my 10-year-old and 3-year-old's spirits high while I take care of my oldest daughter and her baby girl. My 10-year-old daughter recently told me that she is lonely because my oldest daughter used to share a room with her. I know the transition will be challenging because I have to manage four children. Do you have advice on how to raise these children without pulling my hair out? -- Do Not Know What to Do, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO: One step at a time is all you can do. That and get super organized. Everyone in your home needs to have responsibilities, including the 3-year-old. It's best if some of their duties involve the baby, because the little ones are likely jealous now that there is someone taking so much of "their" attention away from them -- in their young minds, anyway.

Perhaps the 3-year-old can help by bringing wipes when mom is changing the baby. One can bring the bottle over after an adult has heated it on the stove. Pick little duties that will make the children feel important in the family. Also, schedule time to help them with their homework and to talk to them at night before they go to sleep. Listen to them as they share their thoughts about the new family dynamics. They want to be heard. Meanwhile, teach your new mom how to be a mom and how to behave responsibly now that she has brought a child into the world.

Next, get help. Build a village with friends, family and neighbors so that you are not taking care of your family alone. Ask them to help you entertain the children. Finally, do something for yourself. Take a long, hot bath at night. Take a long walk in your neighborhood. Give yourself a few minutes each day for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It snowed really badly the other day, and I ended up not being able to attend my friend's party because it was too dangerous to go outside. The newscasters were telling people to stay inside because of the snow and ice, so I did. I called my friend to apologize in advance. He basically hung up on me saying I was a wuss for not braving the weather to come to his birthday party. I couldn't believe it. Where I live, which is in a rural area, nobody cleaned the streets, and they were covered with ice. Some power lines went down and everything. I think my friend was out of line in being so rude to me. How can I address this with him? If I don't say something, I fear we won't stay friends. -- Over It, Pikesville, Md.

DEAR OVER IT: Call your friend. Ask him how his party went. Remind him that you were unable to come due to the weather. Tell him directly that you were offended by the way he spoke to you. Tell him that you thought your friendship was more valuable than that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for an airline company, and I am required to fly at least 20 days out of the month. The upside is that I am able to see the world; the downside is that my social life is terrible. I recently met this man on Facebook, and he seems nice. We talked on the phone for about three hours; he understands my plight as a flight attendant. He is familiar with my job responsibilities because he has dated a flight attendant in years past. He also makes me smile every time we talk on the phone, and I would like to meet him in person. Do you think it is strange for me to meet this man in person because our first interaction was via a social media platform? -- Friendly Skies, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR FRIENDLY SKIES: These days, plenty of people meet thanks to social media platforms. As with any other type of first meeting, you want to take it slowly. Meet in a safe location, meaning not in either of your homes, like at a restaurant, movie theater, gallery, etc. -- someplace where other people are present.

You should give this man a chance. One way you will be able to tell if he is a potential candidate for you romantically is to make a list of the qualities you feel are important in a relationship. List them individually and then as you talk to this man, listen to hear if he falls into any of your categories. Do not fill your list with fluff, like how he looks or whether he has a six-pack. Wanting him to be healthy is fair. Making sure he is single and available to be in a relationship should be non-negotiable.

Take your time. If you two like each other after one meeting, select another time when you are in the same area to meet again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My part-time assistant of the past three years is about to move away because she is graduating from college. I am so proud of her. I have watched as she has blossomed into a fine young woman. She has been an amazing support to me in more ways than I can even outline. I want to do something special for her when she graduates. Times are lean in my business, so I can't afford to do anything lavish. But I do want to send her off in a meaningful way. What do you recommend? -- Grateful, Detroit

DEAR GRATEFUL: Why not take your assistant out to dinner at a restaurant that you believe she would enjoy? If you know any of her friends or co-workers with whom she would enjoy sharing this experience, invite them as well. Make it a celebration by hosting it in her honor and using the time to have everyone tell stories about her and have her talk about her plans for the future. Pledge to stay in touch, and follow up on that promise.