DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a brother who lives 3,000 miles away from the family. He has lived there for more than 20 years. Though he stays in close touch with my mom, he hardly ever comes home. We invite him to all the holiday meals and every special event, but he hasn't come for years. We miss him and love him and want to see him. We were thinking about suggesting that we go out to visit him for the kids' spring break, but I'm worried that he will get upset if he thinks we are crowding his space. Honestly, who knows what to believe -- he doesn't talk about visits. How can I approach the idea of visiting him as a big family group so that he might consider it? -- Missing My Brother, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR MISSING MY BROTHER: You didn't say how often or if ever you or other family members visit your brother, so I don't know what the precedent is currently. I do know that family members who live far away from the core family unit often feel isolated. Call your brother. Tell him that you and the family miss him and that you want to visit -- soon. Ask if all of you can come to visit during spring break. Tell him the dates, and then see how he responds. Given that yours is a group of a number of people, you should plan to stay in a hotel so that you don't invade his space without his invitation.

There's a good chance he will say yes. If not, you can tell him that you would love to visit whenever he is available. Continue to send him photos and include him in family activities from a distance so he knows you are thinking of him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got into a big argument with my husband, and now we are hardly speaking to each other. I'm tired of the way that he talks to me sometimes. He gets an idea in his head and doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say. We are Christian people, and we are taught that the man should be the head of the household, but I am having a hard time dealing with him talking to me any which way. I need him to speak to me with respect. I am not sure how to heal this latest wound. I am really hurt. -- Broken Wing, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BROKEN WING: Marriage coach Heath Wiggins, of HisLeadershipHerTrust.com, a biblically based training company that coaches married couples, says that being head of household does not mean that a man can say or do anything he wants. Wiggins contends that a husband's duty is to care for his family and help to guide them to good action. Further, he suggests that when the husband makes a mistake, including fueling a heated argument, it is his responsibility to apologize and ask for forgiveness because this is the only way to build trust.

I will add that regardless of your spiritual background, no one should allow a spouse to continually behave in a disrespectful manner without addressing the behavior and getting help when necessary. Seek counseling now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been sort of secretly in love with my best friend for, well, as long as we have been friends. I don't mean to have these feelings, but he is the kindest, funniest, most intelligent man I have ever met, and we get along so well. The thing is, he has been pretty much a player for the whole time we have been friends, and he has never acted like he was in love with me. Over the years, I have brought it up a few times, and he disappears for a while. I cool off. We reconnect as friends. Something happens and we come together, and then the feelings resurface. These days, I just enjoy the moment, but in a way, this relationship makes me sad. We are getting older, and many of our friends are dying. I am sad that we will never enjoy the closeness of a romantic relationship that I think we both would enjoy. Do you think I should say something one more time? We are in our 50s and 60s now. Somehow, it seems pathetic when I write it down. -- Love-struck, Boston

DEAR LOVE-STRUCK: Your bond with this man seems genuine and long-lasting. It also seems to be defined by particular boundaries that have been in place for decades. I recommend that you savor the relationship that you have rather than pining away for something that is elusive. Clearly, he is your friend, as you are his.

Do your best to practice being in the moment and allowing yourself to experience fully whatever your interactions may be. That's when you can be happy. Wishing for more takes you out of the present and into a fantasy construct. Reality is far more fulfilling.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I confided in a new friend about some challenges that I have been having in my marriage. I felt like she was trustworthy and would understand where I was coming from. She has been married for many years -- longer than me, actually. She gave me good advice in the moment, but I feel like ever since then she has been distant. I have called her a few times to get together. Prior to our big chat, we were getting together regularly, once or twice a month, to hang out. When I asked her if I had offended her in some way, she shrugged it off and said she has just been busy. I know that's not all it is. How can I get her to open up to me? -- Pushed Aside, Los Angeles

DEAR PUSHED ASIDE: Your new friend may be trustworthy in the sense of not talking about your personal business to others, but clearly she is not interested in connecting with you right now, for whatever reason.

Rather than being distracted by her distance, turn your attention to your marriage. You say that you have been having challenges there. What are they? Focus on your life. Drum up the courage to talk to your husband about your issues. Heal your marriage. A new friend is not nearly as important.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My grooming habits have taken a serious nosedive as of late, and I think it's affecting the office climate at my place of work. I'm aware of what I need to do to take care of myself, but my current financial situation tells me I have to pick and choose what I can pay for. For example, I used to go to the barbershop every two weeks, and now I go every two months. I welcomed the extra hair on my face because it's been beneficial bracing against the brutally cold weather we have had as of late. Secondly, I haven't been able to clean my clothes on a consistent basis. I am embarrassed because I really care about the way I look. I need some advice because I want to become better. -- Grooming is Important, New York City

DEAR GROOMING IS IMPORTANT: First, review your whole situation. If you are working at a place that does not afford you enough income to handle your basic hygiene, you may be working at the wrong job. That said, even with limited means, it is possible to stay clean, neat and tidy. Regarding your hair, you can purchase an electric razor and grooming kit and cut your hair yourself. Many men do so. It may seem daunting at first, but it can save you thousands of dollars over time. Second, you can wash your clothes at home. If you do not have access to a free washer, use good old elbow grease. Put your clothes in the tub with soapy warm water. Soak them, scrub them, rinse them and hang them.

By paying attention to yourself before you leave your home, you can make a difference, even if you have limited resources. Bathe thoroughly, wear clean clothes and learn to do everything you can on your own to cut costs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is driving me crazy because she has not had our baby yet. The expected due date was last week, and she is ready for the baby to come out. My wife has become really cranky, and she wants to rip my head off if I bother her with any nonsensical questions. I will be so excited when this baby comes out because I will not have to worry about her mouth. In the meantime, how can I keep my wife calm during this waiting period without losing my mind? -- Any Day Now, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR ANY DAY NOW: Anticipating an overdue baby is hard for both mother and father. Hormones are surging inside your wife. Anticipation is at an all-time high for both of you. Be a thoughtful listener through this period. Resist the temptation to tell your wife what to do. She does not need a lecture, even though this is often the way that men express their concern. Tell her you love her. Tell her you are happy to do anything she would like. Questions can be irritating. Observe her instead, and be ready to take action when you notice she has a need. Make sure the bag is packed and at the door, that you have your insurance card handy and that you are ready to drive to the hospital when the time comes.