DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine went away for rehab for an eating disorder about a year ago. She called and told me about it, and for the next few months she talked about it a little. I think she had gained about 3 pounds and needed to gain about 30. I rarely see her since we don't live in the same town. I want to check in with her to see how she's doing. Do you think that's OK? -- Concerned Friend, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: Since your friend welcomed you into the conversation about her health, you have permission to bring it up again. But be sensitive. You can call and ask her how she's doing and if she is making strides with her eating disorder. Offer your love and support, and listen to see if she wants to talk. Don't press her, though. Tell her you want to support her in any way that you can. For more ideas: nationaleatingdisorders.org.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Please, please, please tell "Unsafe," whose next-door neighbor at her dorm has been using social media to threaten her life, to print out copies of the Facebook posts and tweets to support her position and keep a record of every interaction that she and her friends have with this girl. Also, Unsafe should never be alone with her. Racism, regrettably, is alive and well in this country, and this neighbor sounds especially mentally unbalanced. My fear is the neighbor may accuse Unsafe of something, and she desperately needs to protect herself.

A very good friend of mine, a gentle and kind man who does volunteer work for the homeless with his wife, saw his car getting hit by another car while it was parked. When he went outside to assess the damage with his brother, the woman who hit his car sped off. He thought that was the end of it, but a few moments later, police showed up and arrested him. The woman who hit his car accused him of assaulting her! She had never left her car, and they had never even exchanged words. He stood trial, and even though he had a witness and she didn't, he was found guilty, spent 30 days in jail, got 13 months probation and has a conviction on his record forever. Why did this woman do it? It's not clear, but she had no license and no insurance.

My friend's crime? He's African-American, and the police chose to believe the woman's story rather than my friend and his brother. -- Unfair, Chicago

DEAR UNFAIR: When we see extreme behavior seemingly triggered by race, it is very important to tell the authorities. Indeed, this is true whether the behavior is racially motivated or not. In our country, we have recently witnessed too many arguments turn violent with people getting hurt, violated or wrongfully accused. Remaining vigilant and getting support immediately when you notice unsafe behavior from others -- friend and foe alike -- could end up saving your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a lateness problem like nobody's business. I work part-time for this really cool woman, and I like the work that we do. She is interesting, and so is her work environment. I wish it were full-time, but she pays regularly, so it is cool. That should mean that I would get my rear up and get to work on time, right? I never seem to get it together on time. My alarm clock doesn't go off, or I lose track of time, or I don't leave in time to get the train. Something seems to get in the way all the time. To her credit, she has been pretty cool about the situation. She likes me and has said so. She even told me last week that I have to get it together -- not just for her, but for myself. I know she is trying to help me, but I keep messing up. What can I do to become an on-time person? -- Standing in My Own Way, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR STANDING IN MY OWN WAY: Get out a piece of paper and make two columns. In one column, write down all of the things that you appreciate about your current job. Be as specific as possible. In the other, write down all of the things you do that ruin your success. Review your list, and ask yourself if your self-sabotage is worth it.

If you truly enjoy your work, figure out how to honor it by being on time. Can you get up an hour earlier? Set multiple alarms. Review the train schedule, and plan to arrive a half-hour early. Give yourself permission to be on time because you deserve the rewards that come with punctuality. By establishing little disciplines that help you to remain mindful of timeliness, you can master your organizational and psychological challenges surrounding this issue and be free of tardiness!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter's best friend has hamsters. One just had six babies. Needless to say, my daughter wants one of them. I am allergic to furry animals, and while I would love to accommodate my daughter, I know that tending to this animal, cleaning it, etc., would ultimately fall on my shoulders, since my daughter is just 9. I am not interested in inviting an allergen into my home. How can I break it to her? -- Ha-Choo, Atlanta

DEAR HA-CHOO: I doubt this is the first time you have told your daughter that you have allergies. It is time to remind her. Explain that you are fine with her visiting her friend and her hamsters -- at her house -- but that you cannot have any as pets at your house because they will make you sneeze. Be specific so that she gets it. Remind her to wash her hands thoroughly after handling her friend's pets -- for her own hygiene and before engaging with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not been feeling well recently, so I went to the doctor and learned that I have high blood pressure. I am so embarrassed. I feel like I have let my family down by falling into the family trap. Almost everyone on my father's side gets it by age 50. I swore to myself that it wouldn't happen to me. I'm afraid that diabetes is next -- most of my father's family has that, too. I already know that I should lose weight and exercise more and all that, but I find myself consumed by work or my kids, and I rarely get to it. I got a wakeup call the other day when a friend a couple years younger than me who appeared to be in really good health -- thin and trim -- died suddenly. We learned later he had high blood pressure and wasn't taking his meds. Now I'm scared. I am taking the medicine I was given, but I feel so isolated. I feel like if I tell my family, they are going to judge me. But I'm not being successful handling this alone. -- Sick and Scared, New Orleans

DEAR SICK AND SCARED: Did you know that one in three American adults suffers from high blood pressure? The numbers are staggering. I share them with you so that you can rest assured that you are not alone. Many people face this insidious disease at some point in their lives.

According to research, there are plenty of things you can do, which you know already. But doing them a little bit at a time may help. Change your diet. Drink more water and less caffeine. Reduce your alcohol intake. Move your body.

Those are the obvious suggestions. Trying to do it alone is not wise. The curious thing in your situation is that your family will likely be open to discussing this condition with you. They may even have pointers for you. You, ironically, are the one who has judged them, or at least your family history, by saying this would never happen to you. Heredity is a factor in illness sometimes. You may be predisposed to this condition. Stop judging yourself or your family and talk to them. Get professional counseling, too. For more information on hypertension, visit www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/hbp/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle died, and I have been feeling very sad about it. When I told my boyfriend, he sort of shrugged it off. My uncle was nearly 90, and my boyfriend said, "Everybody has to die. We should be so lucky." Then he didn't want to talk about it anymore. That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that I am sad. Now I am also mad at my boyfriend for being a jerk. I need a hug, not a scolding. -- Hug-Free, Salt Lake City

DEAR HUG-FREE: I hope you have other loved ones you can call at this time. Sure, you can tell your boyfriend that what you need most is comfort. But if he is unable to provide that, call your family or close friends who are available to listen and talk with you and participate in your grieving process. Later, you can talk to your boyfriend about being more sensitive to your needs.