DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a lateness problem like nobody's business. I work part-time for this really cool woman, and I like the work that we do. She is interesting, and so is her work environment. I wish it were full-time, but she pays regularly, so it is cool. That should mean that I would get my rear up and get to work on time, right? I never seem to get it together on time. My alarm clock doesn't go off, or I lose track of time, or I don't leave in time to get the train. Something seems to get in the way all the time. To her credit, she has been pretty cool about the situation. She likes me and has said so. She even told me last week that I have to get it together -- not just for her, but for myself. I know she is trying to help me, but I keep messing up. What can I do to become an on-time person? -- Standing in My Own Way, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR STANDING IN MY OWN WAY: Get out a piece of paper and make two columns. In one column, write down all of the things that you appreciate about your current job. Be as specific as possible. In the other, write down all of the things you do that ruin your success. Review your list, and ask yourself if your self-sabotage is worth it.

If you truly enjoy your work, figure out how to honor it by being on time. Can you get up an hour earlier? Set multiple alarms. Review the train schedule, and plan to arrive a half-hour early. Give yourself permission to be on time because you deserve the rewards that come with punctuality. By establishing little disciplines that help you to remain mindful of timeliness, you can master your organizational and psychological challenges surrounding this issue and be free of tardiness!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter's best friend has hamsters. One just had six babies. Needless to say, my daughter wants one of them. I am allergic to furry animals, and while I would love to accommodate my daughter, I know that tending to this animal, cleaning it, etc., would ultimately fall on my shoulders, since my daughter is just 9. I am not interested in inviting an allergen into my home. How can I break it to her? -- Ha-Choo, Atlanta

DEAR HA-CHOO: I doubt this is the first time you have told your daughter that you have allergies. It is time to remind her. Explain that you are fine with her visiting her friend and her hamsters -- at her house -- but that you cannot have any as pets at your house because they will make you sneeze. Be specific so that she gets it. Remind her to wash her hands thoroughly after handling her friend's pets -- for her own hygiene and before engaging with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not been feeling well recently, so I went to the doctor and learned that I have high blood pressure. I am so embarrassed. I feel like I have let my family down by falling into the family trap. Almost everyone on my father's side gets it by age 50. I swore to myself that it wouldn't happen to me. I'm afraid that diabetes is next -- most of my father's family has that, too. I already know that I should lose weight and exercise more and all that, but I find myself consumed by work or my kids, and I rarely get to it. I got a wakeup call the other day when a friend a couple years younger than me who appeared to be in really good health -- thin and trim -- died suddenly. We learned later he had high blood pressure and wasn't taking his meds. Now I'm scared. I am taking the medicine I was given, but I feel so isolated. I feel like if I tell my family, they are going to judge me. But I'm not being successful handling this alone. -- Sick and Scared, New Orleans

DEAR SICK AND SCARED: Did you know that one in three American adults suffers from high blood pressure? The numbers are staggering. I share them with you so that you can rest assured that you are not alone. Many people face this insidious disease at some point in their lives.

According to research, there are plenty of things you can do, which you know already. But doing them a little bit at a time may help. Change your diet. Drink more water and less caffeine. Reduce your alcohol intake. Move your body.

Those are the obvious suggestions. Trying to do it alone is not wise. The curious thing in your situation is that your family will likely be open to discussing this condition with you. They may even have pointers for you. You, ironically, are the one who has judged them, or at least your family history, by saying this would never happen to you. Heredity is a factor in illness sometimes. You may be predisposed to this condition. Stop judging yourself or your family and talk to them. Get professional counseling, too. For more information on hypertension, visit www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/hbp/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle died, and I have been feeling very sad about it. When I told my boyfriend, he sort of shrugged it off. My uncle was nearly 90, and my boyfriend said, "Everybody has to die. We should be so lucky." Then he didn't want to talk about it anymore. That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that I am sad. Now I am also mad at my boyfriend for being a jerk. I need a hug, not a scolding. -- Hug-Free, Salt Lake City

DEAR HUG-FREE: I hope you have other loved ones you can call at this time. Sure, you can tell your boyfriend that what you need most is comfort. But if he is unable to provide that, call your family or close friends who are available to listen and talk with you and participate in your grieving process. Later, you can talk to your boyfriend about being more sensitive to your needs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a call from my son's school saying that he is failing the sixth grade because he hasn't been turning in his homework. I work with him on his homework or review it almost every night, even though I have a hectic work schedule. I have not seen any of the assignments that the teacher claims he has missed. She told me this has been going on for some time, but this is the first that she mentioned it to me. She said that this time she will give him a chance to make up the work, but next time he gets a zero. I have talked to my son about this, but I think the teacher should be more responsible for letting me know what's going on with my son. How can I make that happen? I cannot be at school a lot. I have to work. -- Failing Grades, Chicago

DEAR FAILING GRADES: Schedule a meeting with the teacher as soon as you can. Ask her to partner with you on your son's success. Tell her you are committed to doing whatever you can to help him be a good student. Ask her for her help. Make a communication plan with her where you can learn what his assignments are to ensure that they get done.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before my grandmother died, our family did not have the best relationship with one another. We are cordial at family functions, but no one really knew what was going with the others. For example, at my grandmother's funeral, a man came up to me and told me I looked like my father. I did not know who this man was, and when I asked my aunt, she told me that he was my father's brother. (My parents have been apart for more than 30 years, and my mom died three years ago.) I was shocked to learn that he has lived in New York City for about 40 years. It took my grandmother's passing to learn that a family member on my father's side lives in the same city as me. I am a little disappointed because my mother's side of the family knew this information. How can I create dialogue with my family members after our grandmother's passing? -- A Little Too Late, New York City

DEAR A LITTLE TOO LATE: Death has a very interesting way of bringing things to the surface in families and sometimes cultivating better relationships. I hope you got your uncle's information so that you can work on building a bond with him. The blessing is that he is still alive and came over to speak to you. Start with him now that you have made that connection.

Now that your grandmother has passed, tell your family members that you want to keep the family together. Point out highlights of your shared experiences when you were at your grandmother's funeral. Rekindle your bond and strengthen it by inviting family members to spend time with you, one-on-one or in a group. Devote time to these relationships, and very naturally you will start talking about your lives.

Know that your family may have never mentioned your uncle due to the disconnect between your mother and his brother.