DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not been feeling well recently, so I went to the doctor and learned that I have high blood pressure. I am so embarrassed. I feel like I have let my family down by falling into the family trap. Almost everyone on my father's side gets it by age 50. I swore to myself that it wouldn't happen to me. I'm afraid that diabetes is next -- most of my father's family has that, too. I already know that I should lose weight and exercise more and all that, but I find myself consumed by work or my kids, and I rarely get to it. I got a wakeup call the other day when a friend a couple years younger than me who appeared to be in really good health -- thin and trim -- died suddenly. We learned later he had high blood pressure and wasn't taking his meds. Now I'm scared. I am taking the medicine I was given, but I feel so isolated. I feel like if I tell my family, they are going to judge me. But I'm not being successful handling this alone. -- Sick and Scared, New Orleans

DEAR SICK AND SCARED: Did you know that one in three American adults suffers from high blood pressure? The numbers are staggering. I share them with you so that you can rest assured that you are not alone. Many people face this insidious disease at some point in their lives.

According to research, there are plenty of things you can do, which you know already. But doing them a little bit at a time may help. Change your diet. Drink more water and less caffeine. Reduce your alcohol intake. Move your body.

Those are the obvious suggestions. Trying to do it alone is not wise. The curious thing in your situation is that your family will likely be open to discussing this condition with you. They may even have pointers for you. You, ironically, are the one who has judged them, or at least your family history, by saying this would never happen to you. Heredity is a factor in illness sometimes. You may be predisposed to this condition. Stop judging yourself or your family and talk to them. Get professional counseling, too. For more information on hypertension, visit www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/hbp/.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle died, and I have been feeling very sad about it. When I told my boyfriend, he sort of shrugged it off. My uncle was nearly 90, and my boyfriend said, "Everybody has to die. We should be so lucky." Then he didn't want to talk about it anymore. That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that I am sad. Now I am also mad at my boyfriend for being a jerk. I need a hug, not a scolding. -- Hug-Free, Salt Lake City

DEAR HUG-FREE: I hope you have other loved ones you can call at this time. Sure, you can tell your boyfriend that what you need most is comfort. But if he is unable to provide that, call your family or close friends who are available to listen and talk with you and participate in your grieving process. Later, you can talk to your boyfriend about being more sensitive to your needs.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a call from my son's school saying that he is failing the sixth grade because he hasn't been turning in his homework. I work with him on his homework or review it almost every night, even though I have a hectic work schedule. I have not seen any of the assignments that the teacher claims he has missed. She told me this has been going on for some time, but this is the first that she mentioned it to me. She said that this time she will give him a chance to make up the work, but next time he gets a zero. I have talked to my son about this, but I think the teacher should be more responsible for letting me know what's going on with my son. How can I make that happen? I cannot be at school a lot. I have to work. -- Failing Grades, Chicago

DEAR FAILING GRADES: Schedule a meeting with the teacher as soon as you can. Ask her to partner with you on your son's success. Tell her you are committed to doing whatever you can to help him be a good student. Ask her for her help. Make a communication plan with her where you can learn what his assignments are to ensure that they get done.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before my grandmother died, our family did not have the best relationship with one another. We are cordial at family functions, but no one really knew what was going with the others. For example, at my grandmother's funeral, a man came up to me and told me I looked like my father. I did not know who this man was, and when I asked my aunt, she told me that he was my father's brother. (My parents have been apart for more than 30 years, and my mom died three years ago.) I was shocked to learn that he has lived in New York City for about 40 years. It took my grandmother's passing to learn that a family member on my father's side lives in the same city as me. I am a little disappointed because my mother's side of the family knew this information. How can I create dialogue with my family members after our grandmother's passing? -- A Little Too Late, New York City

DEAR A LITTLE TOO LATE: Death has a very interesting way of bringing things to the surface in families and sometimes cultivating better relationships. I hope you got your uncle's information so that you can work on building a bond with him. The blessing is that he is still alive and came over to speak to you. Start with him now that you have made that connection.

Now that your grandmother has passed, tell your family members that you want to keep the family together. Point out highlights of your shared experiences when you were at your grandmother's funeral. Rekindle your bond and strengthen it by inviting family members to spend time with you, one-on-one or in a group. Devote time to these relationships, and very naturally you will start talking about your lives.

Know that your family may have never mentioned your uncle due to the disconnect between your mother and his brother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was hired by company that has offices in New Jersey and in California. There's a weeklong training program that takes place in the California office, and I live in New Jersey. I assumed the company would pay for my trip; however, that is not the case. The company told me it would reimburse me for my two-week trip, but it would take three months to receive payment. The trip will cost $4,000, and I do not know if I can do it -- I do not have that kind of money to spend for training. I really need the job, but I do not know where the extra money is going to come from to make the trip. I am afraid to tell the company about my current financial situation. -- Rock and a Hard Place, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: You must speak with someone to learn about company policy regarding company expenses. Some companies require employees to pay for company travel and expenses out of their own pockets as standard procedure. You need to find out if this is true for your company. If you do not believe you have the means to front business expenses and you expect that they will accrue as a matter of course in your new job, you must let the company know that you need different terms. Otherwise, you could easily start a job -- with a loan from a loved one -- only to be unable to afford to stay there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My thoughts regarding the letter from "Yearning for Vacay" from Washington, D.C.: Maybe there was more to this woman's complaint than space allowed in the paper, but her comments made me wonder -- when was their last vacation? Are they really in a position where they can take one every year? Maybe she is a diva and the cause of being "in too much debt." Maybe her husband is trying to be responsible and rein in her spending until the debt is whittled down.

In addition to your suggestions, I would have advised that she set up a savings plan with her spouse while paying off their debt, and until they can pay cash for their next vacation, they stay put. -- Grammarnut, Salt Lake City

DEAR GRAMMARNUT: I like the idea of setting up a savings plan for the vacation so that they use cash for that endeavor rather than charging up more credit. There is a wonderful book I read, "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind," by T. Harv Eker, that addresses how to cultivate a healthy mindset about money and building wealth that can be helpful to anyone who is attempting to get finances in order. One recommendation that I learned from Eker is that you should divide your savings into different buckets that would include your primary expenses as well as several savings buckets -- for long-term, for fun, for education, etc. In this way, you are crystal clear about the usages for the money you are accruing.

Regarding the notion of a vacation, it is possible to create a vacation experience for very little money. Often a little getaway can refresh your spirit and re-energize you to fulfill your responsibilities.