DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a call from my son's school saying that he is failing the sixth grade because he hasn't been turning in his homework. I work with him on his homework or review it almost every night, even though I have a hectic work schedule. I have not seen any of the assignments that the teacher claims he has missed. She told me this has been going on for some time, but this is the first that she mentioned it to me. She said that this time she will give him a chance to make up the work, but next time he gets a zero. I have talked to my son about this, but I think the teacher should be more responsible for letting me know what's going on with my son. How can I make that happen? I cannot be at school a lot. I have to work. -- Failing Grades, Chicago

DEAR FAILING GRADES: Schedule a meeting with the teacher as soon as you can. Ask her to partner with you on your son's success. Tell her you are committed to doing whatever you can to help him be a good student. Ask her for her help. Make a communication plan with her where you can learn what his assignments are to ensure that they get done.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before my grandmother died, our family did not have the best relationship with one another. We are cordial at family functions, but no one really knew what was going with the others. For example, at my grandmother's funeral, a man came up to me and told me I looked like my father. I did not know who this man was, and when I asked my aunt, she told me that he was my father's brother. (My parents have been apart for more than 30 years, and my mom died three years ago.) I was shocked to learn that he has lived in New York City for about 40 years. It took my grandmother's passing to learn that a family member on my father's side lives in the same city as me. I am a little disappointed because my mother's side of the family knew this information. How can I create dialogue with my family members after our grandmother's passing? -- A Little Too Late, New York City

DEAR A LITTLE TOO LATE: Death has a very interesting way of bringing things to the surface in families and sometimes cultivating better relationships. I hope you got your uncle's information so that you can work on building a bond with him. The blessing is that he is still alive and came over to speak to you. Start with him now that you have made that connection.

Now that your grandmother has passed, tell your family members that you want to keep the family together. Point out highlights of your shared experiences when you were at your grandmother's funeral. Rekindle your bond and strengthen it by inviting family members to spend time with you, one-on-one or in a group. Devote time to these relationships, and very naturally you will start talking about your lives.

Know that your family may have never mentioned your uncle due to the disconnect between your mother and his brother.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was hired by company that has offices in New Jersey and in California. There's a weeklong training program that takes place in the California office, and I live in New Jersey. I assumed the company would pay for my trip; however, that is not the case. The company told me it would reimburse me for my two-week trip, but it would take three months to receive payment. The trip will cost $4,000, and I do not know if I can do it -- I do not have that kind of money to spend for training. I really need the job, but I do not know where the extra money is going to come from to make the trip. I am afraid to tell the company about my current financial situation. -- Rock and a Hard Place, West Orange, N.J.

DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: You must speak with someone to learn about company policy regarding company expenses. Some companies require employees to pay for company travel and expenses out of their own pockets as standard procedure. You need to find out if this is true for your company. If you do not believe you have the means to front business expenses and you expect that they will accrue as a matter of course in your new job, you must let the company know that you need different terms. Otherwise, you could easily start a job -- with a loan from a loved one -- only to be unable to afford to stay there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My thoughts regarding the letter from "Yearning for Vacay" from Washington, D.C.: Maybe there was more to this woman's complaint than space allowed in the paper, but her comments made me wonder -- when was their last vacation? Are they really in a position where they can take one every year? Maybe she is a diva and the cause of being "in too much debt." Maybe her husband is trying to be responsible and rein in her spending until the debt is whittled down.

In addition to your suggestions, I would have advised that she set up a savings plan with her spouse while paying off their debt, and until they can pay cash for their next vacation, they stay put. -- Grammarnut, Salt Lake City

DEAR GRAMMARNUT: I like the idea of setting up a savings plan for the vacation so that they use cash for that endeavor rather than charging up more credit. There is a wonderful book I read, "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind," by T. Harv Eker, that addresses how to cultivate a healthy mindset about money and building wealth that can be helpful to anyone who is attempting to get finances in order. One recommendation that I learned from Eker is that you should divide your savings into different buckets that would include your primary expenses as well as several savings buckets -- for long-term, for fun, for education, etc. In this way, you are crystal clear about the usages for the money you are accruing.

Regarding the notion of a vacation, it is possible to create a vacation experience for very little money. Often a little getaway can refresh your spirit and re-energize you to fulfill your responsibilities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 21-year-old daughter and her 2-year-old came to live with us. Her situation was very bad; the father is a deadbeat and they were both addicted to drugs. My daughter went into rehab and has been doing well. She keeps trying to make it work with this loser, but she always ends up back at our house. He ended up displaced from his apartment, so now she and the baby are living with us full time. Even if he did have a place, it wouldn't be a healthy environment for my daughter or my grandchild.

The frustrating part is that my daughter does not help out much around the house. She claims I don't ask her nice enough or I just want a slave around when I ask her for help. Both my husband and I are in our mid-50s and work full time. It's tough enough to keep our household up without another adult and a baby making a mess. I have told her multiple times that this situation could be really good if we all worked together. If there weren't a child in the mix she would have been kicked out a long time ago. She doesn't work or go to school and has no motivation; she is very sickly, depressed and lazy. She refuses to go see a doctor for these ailments, though she is in talk therapy and, under doctor's care, prescribed Suboxone and Adderall.

I have been in counseling for years, and the bottom line for me is, "Can I live with the decision I make?" Meaning could I live with kicking them out? I could never do that to my granddaughter. I know you cannot help someone unless they want to help themself, so I feel I am between a rock and a hard place. My daughter has had serious issues since she was 15, and it seems we have tried everything. I hope you can give me some advice on how to handle this. -- Feeling Lost, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR FEELING LOST: As difficult as it may be right now, you do not have to live like this. You do not have to allow your daughter to abuse the privilege of living in your home. Of course you want to support her and your grandchild, but sometimes tough love means requiring that they leave the roost. Look into homes for indigent mothers and children in your town. If you can find her a place to move, you will feel more comfortable asking her to leave.

You can give her the option of staying and pulling her weight or leaving. Outline specifically what tasks you expect her to do and hold her to it. Require that she go to therapy. Speak to her talk therapist to learn pointers on how to encourage her to get more help. Enabling her is not the way to assure a healthy relationship for anyone in your household. If you allow her to disrespect you and your home, you will all remain miserable, and your grandchild will not grow up understanding how to live a healthy, productive life.