DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having the hardest time getting my children to complete their homework, especially their reading. I have used egg timers and timeouts and punishments. I have talked to their teachers, but it all boils down to them rarely getting the work done. When I come into the room where they are supposed to be reading, they are often playing video games or watching TV. I take those privileges away, but the work rarely gets finished. Any suggestions on getting them to focus? My kids are 9 and 11. -- Read Please, Stamford, Conn.

DEAR READ PLEASE: You can remove the distractions from your home. Take the video games away and put them under lock and key. Remove the television from the room where they do their studying. Make it clear that you will not reinstate their ability to use these electronics until they have proven that they can complete all of their studies in a timely and effective manner.

Limit your own engagement with electronics. Your children watch your example more closely than you know. And, by all means, read! You should cultivate a daily interest in reading. If you sit with your children and read as they are reading, chances are great that they will want to read right along with you.

If none of these options works, go to a reading specialist and have your child evaluated.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just saw a report on the news that says that if you drink three alcoholic beverages a day, you are considered a binge drinker. That is so scary. My friends and I go out every weekend, and we always drink that much, if not more. I mean, everybody I know drinks that much. I mentioned this study to my friends who totally blew it off. They said we are young (in college) and having fun. It's not like we are drinking every night. I'm wondering, though, if the study is exaggerating or if we have something to worry about. I've heard about other studies that say drinking a glass of red wine every night is good for you. -- Confused, Shreveport, La.

DEAR CONFUSED: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that binge drinking for men equals five or more drinks in one sitting and four or more for women. Recently there has been speculation about whether the number should be reduced to three drinks in a two-hour period.

The point is that excessive drinking, which you and your friends are doing, can lead to health and safety concerns. There is evidence of memory loss, high blood pressure and other health issues when you drink excessively, particularly for young people. While your friends may brush this off as nonsense, you are smart to take heed.

Start by making the choice not to drink at all the next time you go out or to limit your alcohol consumption to one drink. If you are unable to adhere to your self-prescribed limitation, you will know that you have a problem. Get help now before you succumb to what could be a perilous future if your drinking goes unchecked. You are doing the right thing! For more information, visit cdc.gov/alcohol/faqs.htm#bingeDrinking.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave away my clothes to a local church over the holiday season, and it was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I know I cannot give away my all of my clothes to the homeless, but I am interested in being more charitable in the New Year and I do not know where to start. -- Wanting to Do More, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR WANTING TO DO MORE: Thank you for your generosity. I am certain that deserving people in need benefited from your offerings. It is true that being charitable invokes great feelings. It is part of the cycle of life that we give and receive in order to have a well-rounded existence.

Your next step may be to give your time. Look around at local charitable organizations, including the church where you donated your clothes. Find out where the needs are and then assess which of those needs best fit your personality. You may be able to help serve food at a shelter, deliver food to the homebound or stuff envelopes for an upcoming charity fundraiser.

Nonprofits appreciate when people give their time and effort, especially in the cold weather months. Best of all, your efforts will continue to bring you joy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to college with a guy who has continued to be in touch with me every now and then over nearly 30 years. It's sort of nice that he calls, but every time I hear from him, he wants something from me that I think is inappropriate based on our relationship. We are not, nor ever have been, close. I would call us acquaintances. One year he wanted me to visit him and his family on a vacation detour. Huh? Another time he asked me to work on a project that he was developing -- for free, because we are friends. Once he wanted me to board his daughter at my home while she was on an internship in my city. I blew off these various things because they made no sense to me. He recently called me to ask for another favor. I'm tired of these weird requests and want them to stop. Politely saying no to him has not worked. What can I do to end this? -- Sick and Tired, New York City

DEAR SICK AND TIRED: Your "friend" sounds like an opportunist who is leaning on a very old bond to make his way. It would be one thing if you had allowed him to think that you wanted to work with him or be an integral part of his life. Perhaps your saying no has not been clear enough. If you do not want to talk to him anymore, stop accepting his calls. If he continues to badger you, tell him that you are weary of his constant requests. Wish him well as you request that he stop calling you for favors. Yes, this may seem harsh, but it can bring the back-and-forth to an end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a brother who loves to have additional people listen in on personal phone calls you think are private. I wish he would stop -- it has become an annoyance. How do I address this issue without hurting his feelings? -- Can You Hear Me Now?, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?: Your brother is being intrusive and breaking the law. You should let him know directly that you do not appreciate the fact that he has others listening in on your conversations. Tell him that the Wiretap Act exists to protect people's privacy. While the rules vary from state to state, the general point is that one is not allowed to tape or have someone listen in on a conversation without knowledge and permission from all the involved parties.

Now, it is unlikely that you intend to take your brother to court, but pointing out how seriously the government takes the issue of listening to conversations without permission may help your brother wake up to more than his personal interests. If he continues to violate your wishes, refuse to talk to him on the phone. Limit your conversations to face-to-face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am interested in taking up painting in 2014, but I need help to find the time. I have a full-time job, and I'm active at my church. I am not married and I don't have kids, but I do spend a lot of time with my sister's kids. I don't want to give up that quality time. I want to do this for me. What are some ways I can free up some time in order to take up this new hobby? -- Art for Life, Newark, N.J.

DEAR ART FOR LIFE: It's wonderful that you want to take up painting. It can be a relaxing hobby as well as a liberating one in that it invites you to engage your creativity. Like anything else that is important to you, you need to schedule it into your life.

You could start by doing art projects with your sister's kids. This can get you connected to a paintbrush and other materials in an easy way while allowing you to be with them. Your next step can be to enroll in a painting class. Usually such classes are scheduled once a week, and you will be given assignments to fulfill in between classes. You get to create your own schedule for working on the art projects, which can be lots of fun. What's great is that you absolutely can carve out time to pursue your creative passion as you also live your already full life. It's all about scheduling and commitment. Share your idea with people who love and support you. When you are feeling stretched, they can help urge you to stick with your dream.