DEAR HARRIETTE: I gave away my clothes to a local church over the holiday season, and it was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I know I cannot give away my all of my clothes to the homeless, but I am interested in being more charitable in the New Year and I do not know where to start. -- Wanting to Do More, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR WANTING TO DO MORE: Thank you for your generosity. I am certain that deserving people in need benefited from your offerings. It is true that being charitable invokes great feelings. It is part of the cycle of life that we give and receive in order to have a well-rounded existence.

Your next step may be to give your time. Look around at local charitable organizations, including the church where you donated your clothes. Find out where the needs are and then assess which of those needs best fit your personality. You may be able to help serve food at a shelter, deliver food to the homebound or stuff envelopes for an upcoming charity fundraiser.

Nonprofits appreciate when people give their time and effort, especially in the cold weather months. Best of all, your efforts will continue to bring you joy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to college with a guy who has continued to be in touch with me every now and then over nearly 30 years. It's sort of nice that he calls, but every time I hear from him, he wants something from me that I think is inappropriate based on our relationship. We are not, nor ever have been, close. I would call us acquaintances. One year he wanted me to visit him and his family on a vacation detour. Huh? Another time he asked me to work on a project that he was developing -- for free, because we are friends. Once he wanted me to board his daughter at my home while she was on an internship in my city. I blew off these various things because they made no sense to me. He recently called me to ask for another favor. I'm tired of these weird requests and want them to stop. Politely saying no to him has not worked. What can I do to end this? -- Sick and Tired, New York City

DEAR SICK AND TIRED: Your "friend" sounds like an opportunist who is leaning on a very old bond to make his way. It would be one thing if you had allowed him to think that you wanted to work with him or be an integral part of his life. Perhaps your saying no has not been clear enough. If you do not want to talk to him anymore, stop accepting his calls. If he continues to badger you, tell him that you are weary of his constant requests. Wish him well as you request that he stop calling you for favors. Yes, this may seem harsh, but it can bring the back-and-forth to an end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a brother who loves to have additional people listen in on personal phone calls you think are private. I wish he would stop -- it has become an annoyance. How do I address this issue without hurting his feelings? -- Can You Hear Me Now?, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?: Your brother is being intrusive and breaking the law. You should let him know directly that you do not appreciate the fact that he has others listening in on your conversations. Tell him that the Wiretap Act exists to protect people's privacy. While the rules vary from state to state, the general point is that one is not allowed to tape or have someone listen in on a conversation without knowledge and permission from all the involved parties.

Now, it is unlikely that you intend to take your brother to court, but pointing out how seriously the government takes the issue of listening to conversations without permission may help your brother wake up to more than his personal interests. If he continues to violate your wishes, refuse to talk to him on the phone. Limit your conversations to face-to-face.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am interested in taking up painting in 2014, but I need help to find the time. I have a full-time job, and I'm active at my church. I am not married and I don't have kids, but I do spend a lot of time with my sister's kids. I don't want to give up that quality time. I want to do this for me. What are some ways I can free up some time in order to take up this new hobby? -- Art for Life, Newark, N.J.

DEAR ART FOR LIFE: It's wonderful that you want to take up painting. It can be a relaxing hobby as well as a liberating one in that it invites you to engage your creativity. Like anything else that is important to you, you need to schedule it into your life.

You could start by doing art projects with your sister's kids. This can get you connected to a paintbrush and other materials in an easy way while allowing you to be with them. Your next step can be to enroll in a painting class. Usually such classes are scheduled once a week, and you will be given assignments to fulfill in between classes. You get to create your own schedule for working on the art projects, which can be lots of fun. What's great is that you absolutely can carve out time to pursue your creative passion as you also live your already full life. It's all about scheduling and commitment. Share your idea with people who love and support you. When you are feeling stretched, they can help urge you to stick with your dream.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a group of friends. How do my friends and I make a friendship connection with a woman that we previously didn't really like? We want to be closer to her now because we realize that out of our friend group, she is the one who isn't really close to anyone. Her father recently died, and we know that she is sad. Even though we don't love her personality because she can sometimes be loud and a little mean, we feel that we should try to be there for her. How should we go about that? -- Ready to be Friends, Boston

DEAR READY TO BE FRIENDS: It is wonderful that your hearts are softening for this friend during her time of need. Reach out to her and let her know how sorry you are that her father passed. Either individually or as a group, invite her to do something social with you. Check in to see how she is managing.

It is possible that she could shed some of her presumed meanness if she believes you and your other friends are authentically interested in being her friend. If she falls back into mean behavior, tell her in the moment when something she says hurts your feelings. When she is loud, let her know. There's a good chance that she doesn't realize her volume.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a personal shopper at the local department store, and he helps me (for free) to find what I need when I go shopping. He is nice and extremely helpful, but there is one thing that drives me crazy. He has halitosis! Nearly every time I work with him, his breath smells. Sometimes I bring mints and share them with him. Other times I try to stay a safe distance away. Apart from this being awkward, I also feel like he should know that he has bad breath. As a salesperson, he needs to be at the top of his game, which includes smelling fresh and healthy. Right? -- Sensitive Shopper, New York City

DEAR SENSITIVE SHOPPER: Your heart is in the right place. What you can do is to schedule a shopping appointment with him and tell him you want to have a meeting before you get started. In a private area, commend him for his great work during the time that you have been using his services. Tell him you have something sensitive you need to share with him. Explain that you have noticed that he often has bad breath, and that you are concerned that it may stand in the way of him getting more sales. Add that he probably should get a physical because halitosis is often a sign of a medical condition. Remind him of how special he is to you and that you are offering this feedback with the greatest of respect.

If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine. If so, be honest in what you tell him. Then, continue to shop.