DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a brother who loves to have additional people listen in on personal phone calls you think are private. I wish he would stop -- it has become an annoyance. How do I address this issue without hurting his feelings? -- Can You Hear Me Now?, Memphis, Tenn.
DEAR CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?: Your brother is being intrusive and breaking the law. You should let him know directly that you do not appreciate the fact that he has others listening in on your conversations. Tell him that the Wiretap Act exists to protect people's privacy. While the rules vary from state to state, the general point is that one is not allowed to tape or have someone listen in on a conversation without knowledge and permission from all the involved parties.
Now, it is unlikely that you intend to take your brother to court, but pointing out how seriously the government takes the issue of listening to conversations without permission may help your brother wake up to more than his personal interests. If he continues to violate your wishes, refuse to talk to him on the phone. Limit your conversations to face-to-face.