DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a group of friends. How do my friends and I make a friendship connection with a woman that we previously didn't really like? We want to be closer to her now because we realize that out of our friend group, she is the one who isn't really close to anyone. Her father recently died, and we know that she is sad. Even though we don't love her personality because she can sometimes be loud and a little mean, we feel that we should try to be there for her. How should we go about that? -- Ready to be Friends, Boston

DEAR READY TO BE FRIENDS: It is wonderful that your hearts are softening for this friend during her time of need. Reach out to her and let her know how sorry you are that her father passed. Either individually or as a group, invite her to do something social with you. Check in to see how she is managing.

It is possible that she could shed some of her presumed meanness if she believes you and your other friends are authentically interested in being her friend. If she falls back into mean behavior, tell her in the moment when something she says hurts your feelings. When she is loud, let her know. There's a good chance that she doesn't realize her volume.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work with a personal shopper at the local department store, and he helps me (for free) to find what I need when I go shopping. He is nice and extremely helpful, but there is one thing that drives me crazy. He has halitosis! Nearly every time I work with him, his breath smells. Sometimes I bring mints and share them with him. Other times I try to stay a safe distance away. Apart from this being awkward, I also feel like he should know that he has bad breath. As a salesperson, he needs to be at the top of his game, which includes smelling fresh and healthy. Right? -- Sensitive Shopper, New York City

DEAR SENSITIVE SHOPPER: Your heart is in the right place. What you can do is to schedule a shopping appointment with him and tell him you want to have a meeting before you get started. In a private area, commend him for his great work during the time that you have been using his services. Tell him you have something sensitive you need to share with him. Explain that you have noticed that he often has bad breath, and that you are concerned that it may stand in the way of him getting more sales. Add that he probably should get a physical because halitosis is often a sign of a medical condition. Remind him of how special he is to you and that you are offering this feedback with the greatest of respect.

If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's fine. If so, be honest in what you tell him. Then, continue to shop.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A young family member was just diagnosed with diabetes. Apparently, he almost died because he didn't recognize any of the symptoms he was having. He ended up in the hospital, and I thank God he's better. He was telling us all about it at Christmas dinner, about how he has had to change his diet and everything. It sounded like he had honestly turned a page in his life and was choosing to be healthy. But then, right before he left, he decided to eat a big piece of cake. He is an adult, so he is old enough to make his own choices. But sure enough, he got sick to his stomach and became very worried about his health. I know it is hard to change old patterns, but it was hard to watch. As his cousin, what can I do to support him as he continues on this journey of healthier living? I don't want to see him kill himself. -- Cousin in Need, Chicago

DEAR COUSIN IN NEED: It is great that your cousin confided in you about his health condition. That means he is being as honest as possible about where he is and, as he shared with you, he is attempting to follow the doctor's directions. Being tempted by sweets, especially at holiday time, can be excruciatingly difficult for diabetics. While he ultimately has to make his own decisions, you can support him by checking in on him periodically. Call him and ask him how he is feeling. Look for recipes for diabetic-friendly desserts that you can share with him. Invite him to dinner some time and prepare a delicious meal based on a diabetic diet. Be in his life as an example of how to make healthy choices. Remind him that if he relapses into his bad eating habits, he can go back to better eating choices right away. For recipes and helpful information about this disease, go to www.diabetes.org.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every week, a group of us carpools to work. Most days I drive because I have the biggest car. I don't have a problem with driving, but I do think that everyone should pitch in for gas. There are five of us who ride together. We live nearby, but work is 40 minutes away. When we first started the carpool, everybody pitched in. Now it seems like they have all gotten comfortable and relaxed, and nobody helps to pay for gas. I don't mean to be a spoilsport, but I don't think that is fair. How can I bring it up without offending anyone? -- Gas Poor, Racine, Mich.

DEAR GAS POOR: You have absolutely no reason to feel reluctant about asking your fellow carpoolers to pay up. You made an agreement from the start, and they need to be reminded of it. Use the fact that it is the beginning of a new year to serve as a perfect time to refresh everyone's memory of your plan. Since you are not the only one driving, decide together how much the contribution should be per day, which you can calculate by the mileage. Have everyone contribute weekly or find another way to get to work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm worried about my daughter. She is a live-at-home college student who is doing well in school, but she has hardly made any friends. Because she doesn't live on campus, she doesn't hang out there much. As a commuter, she is finding it hard to fit in. Plus, she really is a homebody. She loves being with our family, so she chooses to come home right after school to hang out with us. That is sweet, but I want to urge her to stay at school more, do her homework in the library and just put herself in the mix there. Otherwise, I worry that she will not develop the social skills needed for building her life. For now, we cannot afford to have her stay on campus. What can I do to get her to engage with the other students more? -- Too Close for Comfort, Washington, D.C.

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Talk to your daughter about her interests. Suggest that she join a club at the school that appeals to her, such as drama, music, science, political science, debate, chess or something else. By doing something that she likes, she will feel more confident about stepping out of her comfort zone, and she will meet other students who share her interests. Since she likes to come home right away, suggest that at least one day a week she should stay on campus later to study or go to wherever students tend to hang out.

The one time that young people easily get to meet lots of other young people, either as friends or even potential life partners, is during college. Tell her that this is an important time to be social, so she must make it a priority.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage nephew is definitely interested in girls now. I listen to my sister talk about how he texts girls all the time, and he and his friends go to the mall so that they can walk around with the girls for hours. So far, it seems innocent, but I am concerned because he is an attractive boy, and girls seem to be throwing themselves at him. I know that this is a vulnerable time for him with his hormones raging and all. As his aunt, what can I do to help him make good choices? -- Worried from a Distance, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR WORRIED FROM A DISTANCE: Start with your sister. Ask her if she would like you to be more actively involved in your nephew's life. If so, ask for specifics from her as to how you can be supportive. In general, it would be good for you to stay in touch with your nephew and build a close relationship with him so that he feels comfortable talking to you. If he allows, befriend him on his social media outlets so that you can pay attention to his communication. Do not respond in judgmental ways to what you read, though. Tell your sister instead, so that she can follow up.