DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned that a colleague's wife had a double mastectomy due to breast cancer. I feel so bad for the two of them. They got married only a couple of years ago. They have been going on fun vacations and generally seem to have a good life. I hear him sometimes saying things to his friends in the office about their dates and weekend excursions, and whenever she comes to visit him they look so happy together. So imagine how horrible things are now. She is relatively young -- in her early 40s -- and they are just devastated. I want to reach out to be of support, but I don't know her, and he and I are not close. What can I do to let him know I would be happy to help without being obtrusive? -- Thoughtful, Denver

DEAR THOUGHTFUL: The amount of love you have seen between your colleague and his wife, even from afar, means that the two of them have a strong foundation on which to rely during this tough period. That is a blessing.

At the same time, you are wise to keep your distance given that you two are not close. What you can do is to write your colleague a note or buy him a card that expresses your concern for him and his wife. Add a personal message saying that you would be happy to be of support in whatever way he might need.

If you are not a note writer, you can stop by his desk and tell him that you are keeping him and his wife in your thoughts and prayers. Then you can say that you would be honored to help him in any way that he may need. You can check in with him occasionally, but do not become pushy. Many people are very private as they deal with health crises.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Bed-wetting is not simply a matter of learning to control the bladder, as you suggested to "Concerned." At the age of 7, 2 to 4 percent of children have sleep apnea, and treating the sleep apnea gets rid of the bed-wetting. Your answer was good, but incomplete. The mother needs to take the child to the doctor for an evaluation. Chances are he has a lot of other symptoms that would be cleared up. -- James Donley, DDS, American Academy of Dental Seep Medicine (AADSM), Darien, Ill.

DEAR DR. DONLEY: Thank you for sharing your research with us. I did not know that dentists addressed sleep apnea, and I imagine that many of my readers did not know that, either. It makes perfect sense to bring a child to the doctor for a full physical when bed-wetting is an ongoing problem. Per AADSM's research, symptoms of obstructive sleep apnea that could sound an alarm include snoring, irritability, daytime sleepiness and impaired concentration, among others. For more information on sleep apnea, visit aadsm.org/whatisdentalsleepmedicine.aspx.

According to the Sleep Foundation, children with enlarged tonsils or adenoids may have sleep apnea as well. Read more here: sleepfoundation.org/article/hot-topics/could-my-child-have-sleep-apnea.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2014! Happy New Year. Isn't it amazing that we have reached this place in time? I always marvel at the notion that with a new year -- as with each new day -- we are given the gift of refreshing our intention on how we are living our lives.

I usually start an intense reflection of my life a few weeks before the New Year so that when this day comes, I feel clear about where I am headed. Whether you had the foresight to think ahead or not, you are here, in 2014. What do you want to be your signature for this year? What mark do you want to make on your life and the lives of those around you as you move into each new day?

These are important questions if you intend to choose to be conscious and intentional in how you live. So many people are so busy that they behave by rote. They get up in the morning, get ready for work, do their jobs, come home, eat/feed the family, watch TV, go to sleep, get up and start over again. Different activities may be sprinkled in, depending upon who you are and what day it is, but for many it is possible to go about your day without really engaging your spirit.

But imagine if you did not take that route. There is a book written many years ago by M. Scott Peck, called "The Road Less Traveled." In it, Peck talks about the choices that people make and how these choices impact their lives. He elaborates on how much more difficult it may seem to examine your life as you are living it, how much more daring it may seem to make a turn into the unknown, even when your heart is urging you to do it, when the known seems so much safer. Yet, if you have the courage to step fully into your own life and listen to the voice inside that is attempting to direct your steps, what kind of a life might you lead?

Gone are the days, for the most part anyway, when people get to do the same job for 50 years and then retire. Stability in terms of economic resources, work and even family life looks different in 2014 than it did some years back. Norms have changed. Expectations have expanded dramatically. Patience is measured differently in this fast food, media consumption world.

And yet, I believe that to find peace and focus in your being, you must take the time to be still and listen to your inner wisdom, and make the decision to follow that wisdom each day. This does not have to feel like hard work, either. By taking 10 minutes to sit and meditate, you may be able to redesign your entire life. When you are crystal clear about how you want to spend your day as you begin it, you will be amazed at how productive you can be. Want to try it? That's my plan.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I cannot afford to go out on New Year's Eve because restaurants, clubs and lounges are planning to charge top dollar to bring in the New Year in their respective venues. How can I bring in the New Year without going broke in the process? -- Where's the Party?, Chicago

DEAR WHERE'S THE PARTY?: Plan an activity at home with a few friends. Make the food yourself, or have others chip in. Buy your wine and spirits at a discount wine store if possible. Turn on the music and have a great time. You can theme your party or just keep it low-key.

Honestly, many people enjoy the smaller events even more than the big and sometimes loud activities at public establishments. Do not feel that you are missing out by staying in. Instead, turn an at-home event into a night to remember! Your friends will thank you for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I appreciate your response to "Snubbed" from Baltimore, whose husband would not buy her a gift. My husband was the same. His family simply did not celebrate holidays the way I did, so he really did not understand the expectation. I was truly hurt by this until I decided to make certain I was heard and advocated for myself. I remind my husband several weeks before each holiday, birthday and anniversary. I give him a list of things I would like, making sure to include differing price ranges. Sometimes it is chores, sometimes trips, sometimes just a dinner alone. I continue to remind him, and it becomes a humorous game. My list will look like this:

To show you love me, you could purchase me my favorite chocolates. If you really love me, you can take me to my favorite restaurant. If I am the love of your life, you can take me on a weekend trip. Guess which gift I typically receive?

Hope this helps Snubbed bring lightness to the situation, playfulness to her marriage and the gift she is looking for. -- Make it Fun, Chicago

DEAR MAKE IT FUN: What a great idea! You absolutely do have to figure out how to open your spouse's eyes to your likes and dislikes. Otherwise, your marriage can be an exercise in frustration and hurt feelings. That goes both ways, by the way! Women often falsely believe that they know exactly what their husbands want and need.

I vote for asking your spouse and genuinely listening. Instead of superimposing your desires onto your partner, find out what his or her desires are and do your best to honor them. If you need to make a game, like yours, so be it.

Being angry and moping serves no one. Put on your thinking cap, get creative and design your life so that your partner becomes excited about making you happy. Now wouldn't that be nice?