DEAR HARRIETTE: Your advice to "Frustrated" in Syracuse, N.Y., was OK, but I strongly recommend the following: First, do not communicate with the Internal Revenue Service yourself. Second, hire an accountant to work on the debt to determine if it is justified and to possibly get the amount reduced. Let him/her communicate with the IRS. Third, allow the accountant to put you in touch with a good tax attorney who may be able to get the debt eliminated entirely. Fourth, and maybe most important, NEVER accept what the IRS says you owe, because once you have made them work so hard to no or little success, they won't bother with you in the future. -- Wiser, Kankakee, Mich.

DEAR WISER: I completely concur that when you have a challenge with the IRS, you should bring in professional support. A tax accountant can help you go through all of the paperwork and has the eye to spot any inconsistencies as well as the experience to know when a tax law is appropriate to use or not. The tax code changes all the time, and it is best to have a professional support you in an audit or any other tax conflict.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends and I talk all the time. We have a good friendship, but we rarely see each other. The other day, I sent her pictures of my home, something I never do because I feel like it is always kind of messy, which is why I hardly ever have people over. She had convinced me to show her. Right away she started telling me what I should do with my stuff. That is the last thing I wanted or expected from her, given how many conversations we have had about our homes. She keeps asking me if she can come over, but now I really don't want to invite her. If she is criticizing me about a photo, I don't think I can take her in-person comments.

I am not in hiding, by the way, or delusional about my cleanliness. I have been working hard to get my place together. But I do not want anyone passing judgment, especially a good friend. What can I say to her? -- Messed Up, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR MESSED UP: It is likely that your friend started in with her suggestions with the intention of supporting you. It is understandable, though, that you did not experience it as that. You can tell her that you are not ready to have her input.

But do not stop there. Make a schedule for the next month giving yourself a task to accomplish each day. Methodically clean up your home, and toss out anything you can. When you feel comfortable, ask for help. You may want to get a service to come in to do some heavy cleaning. You can call a charity to come pick up the items you want to give away. When you are more comfortable, invite your friend to visit and let her know you do not welcome her comments.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a twin sister. We have never been attracted to the same types of men, which has really helped us through the years to avoid conflicts. Now I find myself interested in one of her exes. They dated years ago for a very brief time, and he recently asked me out for dinner. I don't know what to do. Please help! -- On the Fence, Washington, D.C.

DEAR ON THE FENCE: Check in with your sister. Tell her that this man called you and asked you out, and ask her if she is OK with that. She may not care at all. But it is wise to find out. The last thing you want is to get involved with your sister's ex and hurt her feelings. A date is not worth damaging your relationship with sister.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a financial snag a few years ago, and a dear friend bailed me out. She said I didn't have to pay her back because that's what friends are for. But now that I have the money, I want to pay her back anyway. As I was thinking about how to broach the subject with her, I remembered that she told me that if and when I do come into the money that I should pay it forward. Do you think I should ask her if she has a favorite charity or something where I can donate the money? Or should I pick one and tell her that I was able to do it. I want her to know that I'm on good footing now and that I want to do right by the investment she made in me. -- Pay it Forward, Boston

DEAR PAY IT FORWARD: It is likely that your friend wants only the best for you and does not need to know about how you are using the money that you now have to contribute. She gave you that leg up when you needed it with no strings attached to her.

Will she be happy to hear about your stability and ability to pay it forward? Yes, because it shows that you are in a good place in your life and that you are thinking of others. Rather than asking her where you should send the money, do your own research. Is there someone in your life who is in financial need and whom you can help discreetly? If so, go ahead and offer the person the money he/she needs and give the same mandate -- when possible, pay it forward.

Next, reach out to your friend through a handwritten note and thank her again for her generosity several years ago when you were in financial straits. Tell her that you are now in a good place and that you took her advice and helped someone else who needed support. You can follow up with a call to check in, but a note will concretize the gravity of the situation and reveal your completion of the cycle of giving in a beautiful way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My job requires me to use the Internet to gather information for various projects in a timely manner; however, I find myself logging onto Facebook and Twitter to update my status and to see what my friends are doing all day long. I really want to concentrate and focus on the work I have to do during business hours. Can you help me create a strategy to help me stay focused? I could be a more effective worker. -- Easily Distracted, Newark, N.J.

DEAR EASILY DISTRACTED: What you can do is think about your career and your future. Seriously consider the steps that you can take to be successful in your work life. Write down a list of what you can do to improve at your job. Include time management on your list. Imagine how much more efficient you can be if you stay focused on the task at hand.

Each day, make a written list of what you have to do. Write out each task on a separate line, and check off each item when it has been successfully completed. This can help to keep you in line.

Finally, think about the consequences of continuing to be distracted by your personal social media. You could potentially lose your job if you spend too much on those websites.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, my husband and I have gained a lot of weight. I know why: We have been eating rich food every day and drinking wine every night. We know that this is causing us to bulk up, but it makes us happy. We actually have not been this happy together in years. So, we don't want to stop. Obviously, this is not rational thinking. What can we do to develop healthier habits and stay happy? -- Fat and Happy, Los Angeles

DEAR FAT AND HAPPY: You can start by moving your bodies. Why not take a walk together after dinner? Ease into being more active with each other. At the same time, you can begin to make smarter food choices. Switch out starchy foods for green vegetables. Cut back on butter and bread. Eat dinner earlier than your normal hour. Do not eat and then go straight to bed. Reduce your alcohol intake. Start off by reducing it to one glass of wine per night with the goal of reducing your alcohol intake to one or two nights a week.

Remember to take your time in this process. Talk to your husband about it so that he knows you are looking to do something to improve your health. Ask him to support you in this effort. Look for recipes for healthier meals. Invite your husband to help prepare special meals with you. What makes for a happy marriage is great communication coupled with respect. If you travel on this journey to a healthier life together, chances are you can slim down and stay happy!