DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been somewhat casually dating a guy for more than a year now. We like each other a lot, but we see each other rarely. He has a young son, and he has primary custody, so between family and work, he is busy. I had the thought recently to tell him that I would be fine with spending time with him and his son if it meant we could spend more time together. I'm a little nervous about suggesting it, though, since he has never brought it up. What do you think about this idea? -- Next Step, Memphis

DEAR NEXT STEP: Leave it alone. I generally recommend to anyone who has children and is dating that you do not introduce the date until you feel that there is potential for the relationship. It can be unnerving for children to meet a range of dates and not be sure who is important to the parent. While you shouldn't wait until you are about to get married, you should feel that the relationship is more committed than your description -- casual. Follow his lead on this.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I wear a weave in my hair. I spend a lot of money on it, so it looks just like my hair. I've been dating a guy for a few months now, and it has gotten a bit intimate. So far, whenever he kisses me, I make sure he doesn't touch my hair. He has complimented me on it a lot, and I am always grateful. I wonder if he finds out that it isn't my real hair if that will turn him off. Bottom line: I need to tell him, but I'm not sure how to broach the topic. Help! -- Woven, Detroit

DEAR WOVEN: Chris Rock made a compelling documentary called "Good Hair" that explores many of the nuances of the hair industry, including how men and women deal with women who wear weaves. One of the men in the documentary pointed out that he doesn't touch his partner's hair without permission -- ever!

Jokes aside, this is a fair question. Because so many women wear weaves these days, you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that your guy is not new to the party. That said, in order for you to be comfortable with him touching your hair, you need to let him know what's there. It could be presented in a casual conversation about going to the hairdresser. As you talk about your schedule, tell him that you go to the hairdresser once every six or eight weeks to have your weave refreshed (or whatever your timetable is). You can mention how long that appointment is, and note the commitment you make to keeping your hair looking the way you want it to look. This will open the door to a candid conversation about your hair. If he asks to touch it after that, by all means allow him to do so.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I took my daughter and her friend out for Halloween, and it started off great. We went trick-or-treating in a neighborhood that is famous for many of the residents participating with candy and decorations -- they even have a haunted house. This is where we had our problem: My daughter's friend freaked out when we began walking through the house, and she literally froze in her steps. Her screams were different from the normal screams in a place like this. She was scared to her core. I was able to guide her out of the haunted house, and we then went home. It was frightening for all of us, including my daughter. Also, my daughter didn't get to enjoy the haunted house. The girl's mother didn't join us because the girl wanted to go with just us. It would have helped a lot to have her mother there. Do you think I should require that a parent come with any child that joins us next year? Our children are 9 years old. -- Spoiled Fun, New York City

DEAR SPOILED FUN: You named it. Especially for an event like Halloween where children and adults in costumes are milling about at night, is it smart to have more than one adult chaperoning the children. As you experienced, if there is an attraction that one child is against, it is much easier to manage each child's expectations if you have more than one adult in the group. In the future, I would require that each child have a parent in attendance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband complains about something every day. From the moment that my son and I wake up, he has something to say about what we are doing or not doing. When he comes home from work there it is again: something we did wrong. I am fed up. My son is dragging around. When I bring this up to my husband, he says I am being too sensitive. I may be sensitive, but I am certain that there is good in our lives, along with whatever we are doing wrong in his eyes. How can I get him to see that? -- Fed Up, Chicago

DEAR FED UP: When you can carve out a private moment, sit down with your husband and check in with him. Ask him about his day, about what's going on in his life. He sounds frustrated and stressed. It may be that something is happening with him that has nothing to do with you or your son, but, unfortunately, you are experiencing the brunt of his short temper. See if you can learn what's troubling him.

Also, do tell your husband that you are concerned that he doesn't notice the good things that occur in your family. Point out that you want your son to feel loved and supported rather than criticized all the time. Let him know that while he may not realize it, he often picks at each of you. Ask him to work with you to begin to notice and celebrate one thing each day about each other. This will help all of you to come together in a positive way. You can lead the charge in pointing out the good things. Start by noticing something great about him!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to go on a cruise to the Caribbean with a man I met on a dating site. We'd been talking to each other for about six months, and we really liked each other. We'd sent lots of pictures back and forth, but I wasn't totally honest. I sent pictures of myself from about 10 years ago, when I was really cute and slim. Not only am I a decade older now, but I am about 75 pounds heavier.

When we met on the boat, he didn't recognize me at first and walked right by me. I called out to him to let him know it was me, and he looked at me and walked off. We were on the cruise for a whole week, and he hardly spoke to me. I was so hurt. I know I was wrong to lie about my weight, but don't you think his reaction was extreme? Only once did we actually talk, and all he said was he felt duped and angry. -- Caught, Washington, D.C.

DEAR CAUGHT: Lying doesn't work. In this case, it wasn't just your weight that likely ticked him off. A decade and 75 pounds mean you look completely different from the pictures you sent. You misrepresented yourself continuously. Clearly, you did not think this through.

Yes, many people put old, fabulous photos up on dating sites in the beginning, but once you establish a relationship and start swapping photos, it's time to come clean and say, "Ta-dah! This is the real me!" What did you think was going to happen when you met face-to-face?

Your date was totally thrown. He could have chosen to talk it out with you, but it is understandable that he felt betrayed by your deceit. He may have felt that the person he got to know over the phone and through photos was a complete fabrication. Regardless of your size or age, you have to be you. Let that be your lesson from this situation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in a terrible situation. We are likely about to get divorced. It has been a long time coming. The other day, we had a big fight, and my husband reported the details of it to our teenage daughter. Next thing you know, she skips school and drives off with a friend. I found out, and we talked about it. She has never done such a thing. She explained how upset she was, and I understand. As many times as I have told my husband to keep our business between us, he just won't. He tells her all of the stuff that goes on between us. What can I do to help make the breakup easier on everyone? -- Distraught, Atlanta

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: Seek the support of a counselor. Ask your husband to go with you so that an outside professional can help mediate your breakup. If he won't go, you should go anyway. Also, get counseling for your daughter. Keep talking to her about her choices and how to be conscious and intentional during this tough period. Assure her that you both love her, even as you are choosing not to stay together.