DEAR HARRIETTE: I took my daughter and her friend out for Halloween, and it started off great. We went trick-or-treating in a neighborhood that is famous for many of the residents participating with candy and decorations -- they even have a haunted house. This is where we had our problem: My daughter's friend freaked out when we began walking through the house, and she literally froze in her steps. Her screams were different from the normal screams in a place like this. She was scared to her core. I was able to guide her out of the haunted house, and we then went home. It was frightening for all of us, including my daughter. Also, my daughter didn't get to enjoy the haunted house. The girl's mother didn't join us because the girl wanted to go with just us. It would have helped a lot to have her mother there. Do you think I should require that a parent come with any child that joins us next year? Our children are 9 years old. -- Spoiled Fun, New York City

DEAR SPOILED FUN: You named it. Especially for an event like Halloween where children and adults in costumes are milling about at night, is it smart to have more than one adult chaperoning the children. As you experienced, if there is an attraction that one child is against, it is much easier to manage each child's expectations if you have more than one adult in the group. In the future, I would require that each child have a parent in attendance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband complains about something every day. From the moment that my son and I wake up, he has something to say about what we are doing or not doing. When he comes home from work there it is again: something we did wrong. I am fed up. My son is dragging around. When I bring this up to my husband, he says I am being too sensitive. I may be sensitive, but I am certain that there is good in our lives, along with whatever we are doing wrong in his eyes. How can I get him to see that? -- Fed Up, Chicago

DEAR FED UP: When you can carve out a private moment, sit down with your husband and check in with him. Ask him about his day, about what's going on in his life. He sounds frustrated and stressed. It may be that something is happening with him that has nothing to do with you or your son, but, unfortunately, you are experiencing the brunt of his short temper. See if you can learn what's troubling him.

Also, do tell your husband that you are concerned that he doesn't notice the good things that occur in your family. Point out that you want your son to feel loved and supported rather than criticized all the time. Let him know that while he may not realize it, he often picks at each of you. Ask him to work with you to begin to notice and celebrate one thing each day about each other. This will help all of you to come together in a positive way. You can lead the charge in pointing out the good things. Start by noticing something great about him!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to go on a cruise to the Caribbean with a man I met on a dating site. We'd been talking to each other for about six months, and we really liked each other. We'd sent lots of pictures back and forth, but I wasn't totally honest. I sent pictures of myself from about 10 years ago, when I was really cute and slim. Not only am I a decade older now, but I am about 75 pounds heavier.

When we met on the boat, he didn't recognize me at first and walked right by me. I called out to him to let him know it was me, and he looked at me and walked off. We were on the cruise for a whole week, and he hardly spoke to me. I was so hurt. I know I was wrong to lie about my weight, but don't you think his reaction was extreme? Only once did we actually talk, and all he said was he felt duped and angry. -- Caught, Washington, D.C.

DEAR CAUGHT: Lying doesn't work. In this case, it wasn't just your weight that likely ticked him off. A decade and 75 pounds mean you look completely different from the pictures you sent. You misrepresented yourself continuously. Clearly, you did not think this through.

Yes, many people put old, fabulous photos up on dating sites in the beginning, but once you establish a relationship and start swapping photos, it's time to come clean and say, "Ta-dah! This is the real me!" What did you think was going to happen when you met face-to-face?

Your date was totally thrown. He could have chosen to talk it out with you, but it is understandable that he felt betrayed by your deceit. He may have felt that the person he got to know over the phone and through photos was a complete fabrication. Regardless of your size or age, you have to be you. Let that be your lesson from this situation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in a terrible situation. We are likely about to get divorced. It has been a long time coming. The other day, we had a big fight, and my husband reported the details of it to our teenage daughter. Next thing you know, she skips school and drives off with a friend. I found out, and we talked about it. She has never done such a thing. She explained how upset she was, and I understand. As many times as I have told my husband to keep our business between us, he just won't. He tells her all of the stuff that goes on between us. What can I do to help make the breakup easier on everyone? -- Distraught, Atlanta

DEAR DISTRAUGHT: Seek the support of a counselor. Ask your husband to go with you so that an outside professional can help mediate your breakup. If he won't go, you should go anyway. Also, get counseling for your daughter. Keep talking to her about her choices and how to be conscious and intentional during this tough period. Assure her that you both love her, even as you are choosing not to stay together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My assistant has dropped the ball so many times of late that I don't know what to do. Every time she makes a significant mistake, I tell her, because I was taught that you shouldn't let things build up. I tell her what she did that didn't work, and I tell her how to do it right. She says she understands and then does it the wrong way all over again. I have offered to get her training support, which she didn't take me up on. This past week, her mistakes cost my company money -- never mind how much it irked me. She doesn't listen. I would hate to let a young person go, but I don't know what else to do. -- Wit's End, Jacksonville, Fla.

DEAR WIT'S END: Schedule a review meeting with your assistant. Have a list of concerns written out that you need to address with her. Give her a timeline for when you need her to have mastered the various points on the list. Make it clear to her that if she is unable to be proficent at these tasks, you will have to let her go. Essentially, you will be giving her a probationary period to get her job performance together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I left my purse on the table in my house the other day, and when I went to pick it up, I noticed that my money was missing from my wallet. I am 100 percent sure that I had money in there. I even know how much it was. What I don't know is who would have taken it. I have two teenage children, a younger child, a nanny and my husband. I hate the idea of accusing the wrong person of theft. I am also very concerned, because if one of my family members would steal from me, what does that mean? Or even the nanny? I need to get to the bottom of this if I can. What should I do? -- Violated, Washington, D.C.

DEAR VIOLATED: A note to you is that you should no longer leave your purse and wallet in full view. Reducing temptation is smart.

Rather than accuse anyone of theft, call a family meeting -- including the nanny -- and explain what happened. Say that you had X amount of money in your purse, and it disappeared. Point out where your purse was sitting when you believe someone took the money out. Ask the assembled group if any of them took or borrowed the money. Do your best not to use an accusatory tone. It's harder for you to get someone to speak up if it seems that a punishment is imminent.

If you can, use humor. You could ask if someone took a loan out of your purse. If so, now would be a great time to repay that loan! Think of ways to lighten the conversation. If you are able to get someone to admit to taking the money, you can privately explore the situation more to find out why the person thought that was a good idea. It can become a teachable moment.