DEAR READERS: Today is Veterans Day, a day worthy of pause and reflection. Throughout our country's history, men and women have stood up and accepted the call to serve our country and protect our borders and people. Many of our families are touched in one way or another by the armed services.

I am a big believer in contemplating the reason for a holiday so that you can consciously honor it. In the case of Veterans Day, even if you feel angst about the reasons for war, chances are you also feel gratitude and empathy for those who put their lives at risk.

A practice that I recommend to celebrate veterans is for each of us to think of someone in our own lives who is or was a veteran. Remember that person's story and share it with others.

When I think of veterans, I first think of my father and my uncle. My father, the Honorable Harry A. Cole, was a lieutenant in the U.S. Army in World War II. He didn't even speak at his Morgan State college graduation, where he was valedictorian, because he had already enlisted in the Army and had been shipped overseas. He and my mother's brother, Wendell G. Freeland, a Tuskegee Airman, used to swap stories about their time in the armed services. On the one hand, they enjoyed the freedom of traveling globally and being admired by people in foreign lands. Unfortunately, they also experienced the insidious power of racism, even within their own leadership, as World War II occurred during segregation. The good news is they prevailed.

Today, at 88 years old, Uncle Wendell continues to share memories of his years as a Tuskegee Airman. And in his Pittsburgh community, organizations have been showering him with honors for his life's work, which started when he was drafted during World War II. After the war, he became a civil rights attorney determined to help those in need of a champion. Like him, thousands of veterans across the country continue to share their stories of triumph and despair.

On this powerful day that is brimming with stories from those who have lived through all manner of challenge, take the time to reflect and reach out to veterans you know and those you don't know to say thank you. Visit a veterans' hospital and listen to the people there share their memories. Be patient if you end up hearing painful sagas of loss or sadness. Remember that these people have gone through so much.

In recent wars, injuries have often been to the brain. Thousands of people are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. By listening, you can be of tremendous support to a veteran.

Finally, if you are aware of families in your community who have lost family members due to war or who have loved ones overseas now, reach out to them and let them know that they are not alone and that we appreciate the tremendous sacrifice they are making on behalf of our country. For any veterans in need of support, visit mirecc.va.gov/coaching/index.asp.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went shopping the other day in a fancy dress shop, and I felt like the salesperson was watching my every move. It gave me the creeps. I've been seeing all this talk about black people being profiled first by cops and now in fancy stores, but I didn't think it would happen to me. Eventually, I left the store without buying anything, because it made me feel uncomfortable to be followed around. Part of me feels like just leaving did nothing, because the salespeople probably don't even realize how offensive their actions are. But I was afraid I might get arrested or something if I said anything. What should I have done? -- P.O.'d, Chicago

DEAR P.O.'D: It is good that you realize that simply walking out is not enough. Part of the problem with racial profiling is that many people do not realize that they are doing it. Awareness is step one toward ending this offensive behavior. What you can do now is find out the name of the manager and/or owner of the store and write a letter stating what happened and how you felt. Explain that you feel you were treated not like a viable customer, but more like a potential thief.

If you know of others who have had that experience at that store, you may want to have them sign your letter. There is power in numbers. But one letter is enough. If you like, you can hand-deliver it. You can also send a copy to your city government or the press. Most importantly, let the management know that you felt disrespected and ask for an apology.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom's birthday is next month, and I really want to go home to visit her. The problem is, I can't afford it. I am a college student, and I have tons of debt. I don't have the money to buy a plane ticket -- or even a bus ticket, for that matter. I feel like my mom would really like to see me on her birthday. We haven't seen each other for months. Would it be horrible for me to ask her to send for me to be with her on her big day? I don't know what to do. -- Longing for Mom, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR LONGING FOR MOM: Call your mother and tell her that you are missing her terribly and want to spend her birthday with her. Ask her if she would consider sending for you. She will likely be thrilled to know that you want to be with her on her special day. Chances are, if she can afford to send for you, she will. If she cannot, she will still know that the desire is there to be together. Send her a lovely card and talk to her when her birthday arrives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I think things are going well, something bad happens. I really do try to treat people nicely, do a good job and stay honest, but it doesn't seem to matter much. Like, I just finished paying off most of my bills only to get a huge bill from the Internal Revenue Service. I thought I had filed properly, and now this. I don't have any extra money. How am I ever going to climb out of this? I feel so overwhelmed and sad. -- Frustrated, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: As you have already experienced, life has many twists and turns. I was taught that the best way to manage through them is to stay grounded and not to attach oneself to the highs or the lows. That means not getting too stressed out when faced with debt.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed, make a plan. This should begin with reaching out to the IRS and asking for a payment plan that will allow you to be responsible for what you owe and pay it over time. This is a common relationship that the IRS makes with taxpayers, so you need not be afraid.

In other aspects of your life, look carefully to see what is working, and identify where you can improve. Then approach your list of improvements one by one. By focusing your efforts and by being realistic about addressing challenges in their smallest components, you set yourself up for success. Whenever you begin to feel worried or anxious, make a plan.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to run for office in my school government. I know this is an honor, but I am scared. I pay attention to the news, and I have seen how horrifically our elected officials behave. I used to have political aspirations until I started paying attention. Now I feel like there isn't anything I would like to do less. Still, I'm being given a chance to try it out. If I do run, how can I make sure that it doesn't get ugly? -- Politically Ambitious, Boston

DEAR POLITICALLY AMBITIOUS: Congratulations on your vote of confidence, as evidenced by whoever has nominated you to run for school government. It is an honor and a privilege. The ideals upon which our American government was founded are lofty, to be sure. And, as you have witnessed, the reality can look very different. But that is no reason to avoid politics. Instead, it can be your motivation for getting into the game.

Every elected official -- whether in student government or otherwise -- has the opportunity to live and work with integrity. Everyone has the choice of behaving in a dignified, respectful manner. Everyone can learn how to collaborate on ideas and agree to disagree on others. By starting in school government, you can get a taste of how government works. Go for it. Run for office. If you win, make the conscious choice to behave with dignity. Set an example for others.