DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started dating a woman who really likes to play video games. You would think I would be happy about this wonderful discovery; however, I am not a big video game player. My girlfriend says playing video games really relaxes her, but I prefer to go to a lounge to have a drink or two in order to relax. I really like the woman I am dating, but I need help to develop patience in playing video games with her. Do you have any suggestions on how I can accomplish this feat? -- Not a Gamer, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR NOT A GAMER: Who says that you have to do everything together -- at least all the time? What you can do for starters is to accept that your girlfriend has a big interest in video games. Give her space to play them when she is excited about that. You can also have her teach you her favorite game. Though gaming is not your favorite activity, do your best to learn it and find fun in it, if only because it brings the two of you together.

Similarly, invite your girlfriend to put down the game and go with you to a lounge. Make it a date night where you get to spend time talking and enjoying each other's company. If you both make space to respect and enjoy each other's preferences -- at least some of the time -- you may come to a place of acceptance that makes your life together much more enjoyable.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband needs your help. Our household includes my husband, me and three girls. They are 3 months old, 4 years old and 5 years old. I can only imagine how my husband feels being the only male in our house. Between him being a dean at the local high school and running our household, he does not really have any male friends. My husband needs an injection of testosterone in his life. As his wife, how can I help him find a good man to become his friend? -- Find a Friend, Chicago

DEAR FIND A FRIEND: Have you talked to your husband about this? You may be making a presumption that is inaccurate. You and your daughters are his family, and he could be perfectly content with the limited universe that defines his life and relationships.

Before sleuthing to find him a friend, find out if he wants that. If he is feeling claustrophobic thanks to so much estrogen in the house, encourage him to take up a hobby or sport that he enjoys that is typically male-dominated. He will be in the company of other men if he engages in such an activity. But be mindful not to push him out of his family cocoon.

It might be wiser for you to identify other couples you both like and create shared experiences with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my personal accolades get in the way of my dating life. When I go on dates, the men are more interested in my work than expressing interest in my personal life. I plan to go on more dates to try to find Mr. Right. I have a good job that pays well, but I do not play that up. I do not think Mr. Right has to have a particular job or a certain amount of money in the bank. I am looking for someone who is interested in the same things as me, but on almost every date, the conversation goes to my job and then nothing happens. They just want to talk about my work, and it rarely ends up with a second date. (I work with a lot of big-name people because I am a publicist.) I would like to know how should I present myself the next time I go out. -- Presentation is Everything, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING: Look for potential dates who do the same things that you do for fun. Focus the conversation on your shared activities. When the conversation veers toward work, ask your date to talk about himself. People love to do that. Ask him about his work, family and dreams. Share your dreams.

Or you can even say that you do not want to talk about work on the first date. Make it a game between the two of you.

When you do talk about your work, avoid talking about celebrities. Describe the work itself, not the people. Talk about the skills needed, the challenges you have faced and the rewards. Do not lie about your work, but limit discussion of boldface names.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend from my church who has three children, aged 5, 4 and a newborn. Money is tight for her family, and they haven't figured out how to manage everything. They feel like they cannot afford to have three birthday parties each year. How often should a child have a birthday party during his or her childhood? -- Celebrate Good Times, Chicago

DEAR CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES: The number of birthday parties is completely up to the parents. What is possible for those who want annual parties is to streamline the party to make it affordable. Instead of a large group of family and friends, have your children invite a best friend or even a couple of friends over for a sleepover. You make the food, including the cake, and provide easy entertainment at home.

By reducing the number of participants in a birthday celebration, you cut down on the cost significantly. Have the celebration at home or at a free venue like a park or playground. Make the food yourself. Add up the savings!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is returning to college as an adult. She just reported incredible grades on her midterms. It sounds like she is doing really well. I am happy for her, but also shocked. She has very poor language skills. For all the years that I have known her, she has not been good at basic stuff like subject/verb agreement, spelling or writing. She tells me that she is writing papers left and right and getting A's and B's on them. I hate to say this, but I question the quality of the school. Unless someone else is writing her papers, I am sure that they are filled with errors. I worry that my friend is going to graduate and falsely believe that she has all the skills she needs because of these grades. Should I say anything? -- Befuddled, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEFUDDLED: Leave it alone unless she brings it up. The good news is that your friend knows she needed to expand her knowledge. That's why she went to college. It may be that her school is not at the top of the charts in terms of quality of education, but it is where she has matriculated. Support and encourage her. That she is pushing to do her best is fantastic.

If she mentions any struggles with language or anything else with her classes, that could be your window to make a suggestion. You could recommend a grammar book like the classic "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White, or a website such as englishgrammar101.com. I stress, though, that you do this only if asked.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agreed to work on a project for a friend, mainly because I didn't want to be rude. But I do not have time to do the work. My job is very busy, and I have been working overtime for about a month. This is supposed to last through the holidays. My friend keeps calling to ask me for a status report, and I have been ducking his calls. I feel awful, but I won't be able to get to it until January. How do I tell him? I know he is going to be upset with me. -- Overbooked, New York City

DEAR OVERBOOKED: The worst thing you can do is say nothing. Avoiding your friend's calls is far worse than admitting that you misjudged your availability. By saying nothing, you are being insensitive and unprofessional.

Speak up. Contact your friend right away and tell the truth, starting with the fact that you had every intention of completing the responsibility you accepted in a timely manner. Apologize for dropping the ball. Give a realistic date by which you can complete the task OR admit that you will not be able to complete the work at all and give it back. Be honest.