DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my personal accolades get in the way of my dating life. When I go on dates, the men are more interested in my work than expressing interest in my personal life. I plan to go on more dates to try to find Mr. Right. I have a good job that pays well, but I do not play that up. I do not think Mr. Right has to have a particular job or a certain amount of money in the bank. I am looking for someone who is interested in the same things as me, but on almost every date, the conversation goes to my job and then nothing happens. They just want to talk about my work, and it rarely ends up with a second date. (I work with a lot of big-name people because I am a publicist.) I would like to know how should I present myself the next time I go out. -- Presentation is Everything, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING: Look for potential dates who do the same things that you do for fun. Focus the conversation on your shared activities. When the conversation veers toward work, ask your date to talk about himself. People love to do that. Ask him about his work, family and dreams. Share your dreams.

Or you can even say that you do not want to talk about work on the first date. Make it a game between the two of you.

When you do talk about your work, avoid talking about celebrities. Describe the work itself, not the people. Talk about the skills needed, the challenges you have faced and the rewards. Do not lie about your work, but limit discussion of boldface names.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend from my church who has three children, aged 5, 4 and a newborn. Money is tight for her family, and they haven't figured out how to manage everything. They feel like they cannot afford to have three birthday parties each year. How often should a child have a birthday party during his or her childhood? -- Celebrate Good Times, Chicago

DEAR CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES: The number of birthday parties is completely up to the parents. What is possible for those who want annual parties is to streamline the party to make it affordable. Instead of a large group of family and friends, have your children invite a best friend or even a couple of friends over for a sleepover. You make the food, including the cake, and provide easy entertainment at home.

By reducing the number of participants in a birthday celebration, you cut down on the cost significantly. Have the celebration at home or at a free venue like a park or playground. Make the food yourself. Add up the savings!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is returning to college as an adult. She just reported incredible grades on her midterms. It sounds like she is doing really well. I am happy for her, but also shocked. She has very poor language skills. For all the years that I have known her, she has not been good at basic stuff like subject/verb agreement, spelling or writing. She tells me that she is writing papers left and right and getting A's and B's on them. I hate to say this, but I question the quality of the school. Unless someone else is writing her papers, I am sure that they are filled with errors. I worry that my friend is going to graduate and falsely believe that she has all the skills she needs because of these grades. Should I say anything? -- Befuddled, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BEFUDDLED: Leave it alone unless she brings it up. The good news is that your friend knows she needed to expand her knowledge. That's why she went to college. It may be that her school is not at the top of the charts in terms of quality of education, but it is where she has matriculated. Support and encourage her. That she is pushing to do her best is fantastic.

If she mentions any struggles with language or anything else with her classes, that could be your window to make a suggestion. You could recommend a grammar book like the classic "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White, or a website such as englishgrammar101.com. I stress, though, that you do this only if asked.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I agreed to work on a project for a friend, mainly because I didn't want to be rude. But I do not have time to do the work. My job is very busy, and I have been working overtime for about a month. This is supposed to last through the holidays. My friend keeps calling to ask me for a status report, and I have been ducking his calls. I feel awful, but I won't be able to get to it until January. How do I tell him? I know he is going to be upset with me. -- Overbooked, New York City

DEAR OVERBOOKED: The worst thing you can do is say nothing. Avoiding your friend's calls is far worse than admitting that you misjudged your availability. By saying nothing, you are being insensitive and unprofessional.

Speak up. Contact your friend right away and tell the truth, starting with the fact that you had every intention of completing the responsibility you accepted in a timely manner. Apologize for dropping the ball. Give a realistic date by which you can complete the task OR admit that you will not be able to complete the work at all and give it back. Be honest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is five months pregnant. This is our first baby, and we are very excited. As of late, my wife is having mood swings that I do not understand: She is smiling and happy and the world is a peaceful place one minute, and in the next breath she begins to cry for no reason. I do not know how much longer I can take her mood swings. They are driving me crazy. What should I do? -- Having a Baby, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR HAVING A BABY: The wonder of pregnancy affects both the pregnant mom and the father of the child. It is natural that your wife is going through mood swings. Her body is changing rapidly, and her hormones are responding to the pregnancy, causing all manner of shifting in her body and being.

Some women go through these changes dramatically in the first trimester; others experience them through the entire pregnancy. Either way, it is important to understand that your wife is not taking anything out on you intentionally. To the extent that you can remain calm and supportive, the better off everybody is.

To protect yourself, you may want to institute personal timeouts when things get volatile. You can also be extra supportive. Help her with a task that may seem like a burden to her. Show her that you love her in small ways that allow her to notice your help without having it seem like you are meddling.

For more ideas (many of them fun) go to: hisboyscanswim.com/265/mood-swings-the-survival-guide-for-the-father-to-be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I loved your response to the man feeling out of place with his wife's powerful co-workers: Start up a discussion with other spouses. I also had a few suggestions to help him feel more comfortable with himself. He could try taking an etiquette course to reduce the chance of embarrassment at fancy functions, as well as taking up some hobbies of his own that others will likely also have an interest in, such as golf, tennis, sailing or even joining a book discussion group. With a little more knowledge, he may gain a great deal more confidence! -- Nicole, U.S. Virgin Islands

DEAR NICOLE: As one who teaches etiquette, I am a huge fan of people brushing up on their etiquette skills. You are right. Knowing which fork to use, what to wear to a formal and what the various codes of conduct are for different situations can be enormously helpful in getting someone to relax in an uncomfortable situation.

Your ideas about hobbies are great. In general, when you have a passion that you are pursuing, you automatically have a topic to discuss. When your heart is in it, you come alive when introducing the subject to others. This is a fantastic idea on many levels, including the fact that it gives the spouse a chance to find independent fulfillment that he can, in turn, share.