DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife is five months pregnant. This is our first baby, and we are very excited. As of late, my wife is having mood swings that I do not understand: She is smiling and happy and the world is a peaceful place one minute, and in the next breath she begins to cry for no reason. I do not know how much longer I can take her mood swings. They are driving me crazy. What should I do? -- Having a Baby, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR HAVING A BABY: The wonder of pregnancy affects both the pregnant mom and the father of the child. It is natural that your wife is going through mood swings. Her body is changing rapidly, and her hormones are responding to the pregnancy, causing all manner of shifting in her body and being.

Some women go through these changes dramatically in the first trimester; others experience them through the entire pregnancy. Either way, it is important to understand that your wife is not taking anything out on you intentionally. To the extent that you can remain calm and supportive, the better off everybody is.

To protect yourself, you may want to institute personal timeouts when things get volatile. You can also be extra supportive. Help her with a task that may seem like a burden to her. Show her that you love her in small ways that allow her to notice your help without having it seem like you are meddling.

For more ideas (many of them fun) go to: hisboyscanswim.com/265/mood-swings-the-survival-guide-for-the-father-to-be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I loved your response to the man feeling out of place with his wife's powerful co-workers: Start up a discussion with other spouses. I also had a few suggestions to help him feel more comfortable with himself. He could try taking an etiquette course to reduce the chance of embarrassment at fancy functions, as well as taking up some hobbies of his own that others will likely also have an interest in, such as golf, tennis, sailing or even joining a book discussion group. With a little more knowledge, he may gain a great deal more confidence! -- Nicole, U.S. Virgin Islands

DEAR NICOLE: As one who teaches etiquette, I am a huge fan of people brushing up on their etiquette skills. You are right. Knowing which fork to use, what to wear to a formal and what the various codes of conduct are for different situations can be enormously helpful in getting someone to relax in an uncomfortable situation.

Your ideas about hobbies are great. In general, when you have a passion that you are pursuing, you automatically have a topic to discuss. When your heart is in it, you come alive when introducing the subject to others. This is a fantastic idea on many levels, including the fact that it gives the spouse a chance to find independent fulfillment that he can, in turn, share.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I received an email from a married woman saying she would pay me $5,000 if I help her have a baby. The woman told me that there would be no strings attached, and I would not be responsible for child support. This request bothered me because I do not see myself as the type of man who takes the money and runs. Turning down a $5,000 offer is tough, but I did it. I am out of work right now and super low on cash, but I just don't think I could handle it. I want to have my own family some day. Do you think I made the right decision? -- Pay for Play, Newark, N.J.

DEAR PAY FOR PLAY: It's good that you followed your heart. You sound like the kind of man who would not be able to father a child and not support it. That is a good thing!

Rather than being angry at the request, you can consider it a compliment. Your friend obviously thinks you are an admirable man who would father a good child. Given that she is married, she is either trying to escape her marriage or attempting to have a child when her husband is unable to get her pregnant. Even if that is the case, that should be addressed by the two of them, not by her on the sly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: You provided some good tips to the wife who was in a marriage where she and her husband bicker a lot. My husband and I had fallen into this pattern and were exhausting each other. What worked for me was timing. I don't talk to my husband a lot when he gets home from work. Also, I try to be kind even when I am mad or annoyed. I know this sounds old-school, but it works. It sounds like the husband is very stressed. The wife should pray for her husband and for patience. If her husband doesn't have a hobby, suggest that he take up golf or something else.

Also, I would suggest that the wife find a hobby or do volunteer work if she doesn't work outside the home. When I was laid off of my part-time job several years ago, that is when the arguments got worse.

I now substitute in the local schools. I also do volunteer work in the community. I have also put my application on file for jobs in the field that I was working in in case a position becomes open.

Stop stressing and relax. Enjoy your life. It isn't meant to be miserable. -- Wise, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR WISE: What wonderful advice. By the way, "old-school" doesn't mean bad, at least not in my book. Many people who have been married for a long time have figured out ways to create peace and joy in their marriages. I appreciate learning from people who have lived the experience. Thank you!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister told me that her friend, who is getting ready to undergo chemo treatment, has an airfare deal that she wants to use before undergoing the procedure. My sister has requested that I ask my male friend if they can stay at his house in Miami -- with me. I have never stayed at this man's house. We date occasionally, and I feel awkward asking this of him. Since I've never stayed there, it seems weird. I would be asking him if I can stay there with my sister and her friend, strangers to him, when he might not even be there. (To be fair, he did offer my sister and me his house a year ago.) Meanwhile, I can't afford to buy my own ticket, and my sister said she would consider charging my ticket on her credit card if I pay off the bill when it comes. Should I ask my friend? -- Wanting to Help, Baltimore

DEAR WANTING TO HELP: Do you realize what you are saying? Your sister is attempting to do something nice for her friend, but -- and this is a big but -- she has not thought her plan through. Given that your relationship with this man is casual, it would be a lot to ask for him to welcome you three to his home. More, though, is the fact that you cannot afford to go. If you cannot buy the ticket now, will you be comfortable paying for it next month? Also, do you have funds for eating and taking care of yourself once you get to Miami?

Talk to your sister about her idea and the challenges inherent in it. Tell her that you certainly would like to help her friend, but this plan is not manageable. If she can afford to pay for the whole thing, you can broach the topic with your friend. If you do, be upfront about the request and clear that you are perfectly fine if he declines.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I received an email from my ex-wife saying that her dad passed away. I have some mixed feelings about attending the funeral. I do not want to have people thinking that I am trying to get back with my ex-wife, nor I do not want to cause a scene. Should I go to pay my respects or feel miserable and not attend? -- Pay respects, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR PAY RESPECTS: Since your ex-wife reached out to you to tell you of her father's death, reach back and ask her if she would like for you to attend. She may have told you out of pure courtesy, or she may appreciate your support.

Since you are conflicted, let her be your guide on this. It is possible to remain friendly when you divorce. If you go, be attentive. Greet her family and offer your condolences. Let her know that you are sorry for her loss and are there to offer your support.