DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the past few weeks, I have received some unsolicited, racy emails from a married woman who I know from my neighborhood. The emails included illicit pictures and intimate details about her marriage. She told me that she is no longer happy with her husband and she is thinking about getting a divorce. I told her that I would not be the reason for her to divorce her husband. We have the same mutual friends. I do not want to cause any trouble. How do I navigate through this situation? -- Dot-Com, New York City

DEAR DOT-COM: Do not respond to the emails at all. Delete them. If you have her phone number, call her and tell her that you are sorry that she is in an unhappy space but that you cannot help her. Tell her that you find her emails offensive and ask her to stop sending them.

Be clear that you cannot fix her situation and that you absolutely will not engage in a relationship with her. Wish her well with her situation and step back. If you see her in the neighborhood, definitely speak to her, but do not touch her. Also, refrain from telling other people about her emails. Do not spread news that you would prefer didn't exist. Stay neutral and stay away from her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy your column. My wife and I faced the same situation as "Friend in Deed" many years ago when my best friend fell on hard times. My wife and I helped him get back on his feet financially with a fairly large monetary gift. We never looked at it as a loan. We never asked for it back. But over the following 10 years or so, we would get a card or a note every once in a while from my friend, and it would always include a check for anywhere between $10 and $100, along with a heartfelt thank you. It took 10 years, but he repaid all of the money we gave him. He's still my best friend and would be even if he hadn't paid it back. Your advice was spot-on. Never look at money given to a friend in need as a loan, but as a gift with no strings. That friendship is far more valuable than money. You can always make more money, but once a friend is lost, that friend is usually lost forever. -- Still and Always My Friend, Aurora, Ill.

DEAR STILL AND ALWAYS MY FRIEND: What a wonderful story. I strongly believe that, whenever possible, when you help folks in need, especially those who are close to you, you make your offer as a gift, not a loan. That way, you are not emotionally attached to being repaid, and your friendship doesn't have to suffer.

It is not always possible, however, for one to make a financial gift as opposed to a loan. If you find yourself in that situation, be mindful not to give so much that it creates a hardship for yourself. That is unwise regardless of how much you care about the recipient.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend told me yesterday that she has been seeing a guy for a month now. I was thrilled to hear the news because, at 21, she has never been with anyone before. Then she told me the guy is married. I want to be supportive and nonjudgmental, but I don't agree with her actions. I told her to be careful, and she insisted that she knows what she's getting herself into. She really likes him and apparently he likes her, too. She says that she has nothing to lose from the situation -- after all, she's not the married one -- and she is aware that something may eventually happen, but she's not concerned because she's enjoying herself in the present. I think she's so completely blinded by her infatuation that she hasn't rationally considered the consequences. What do I say to her? I don't want her to get hurt, but do I let her make her own mistakes? -- Afraid for Friend, Shreveport, La.

DEAR AFRAID FOR FRIEND: You have no control over your friend, no matter how much you love her. You may have influence, though. When you talk next, check in to see how things are going. Express your concern once more about what she is doing. Tell her that you love her and that you are concerned for her, since this man is unavailable to commit to her. Add that you are worried about her safety.

In situations like hers, when the spouse finds that her husband is cheating, you never know how she -- or he -- will react. Suggest that she watch a few Lifetime movies. While fictional, that network shows some of the worst outcomes of such liaisons. Unfortunately, our police departments are filled with stories of violence sparked by adultery. That should be plenty of ammunition without you having to bring up the morality issue.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who constantly comments on how I spend my money. When she notices that I have bought a new dress or that I got my hair done, she always asks me how much it cost. Then she makes nasty comments about how I spend too much money on things. I don't think my spending is any of her business. I can afford to spend money the way that I do. I also save. I have a good job and have figured out how to afford my lifestyle. She is a single mom with a low-paying job. I get that she can't do it, but that is not my problem. I never talk about what I have, but I do answer her questions. What can I do to handle this better? -- Uncomfortable, Racine, Mich.

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Stop answering your friend's questions about prices. When you answer, you make it her business in a way because you give her information that she can evaluate and comment on. She seems to be living vicariously through you and then crashing emotionally because she realizes yours is not her life. To get her to snap out of her vicarious reverie, you may need to tell her that her running commentary on your possessions hurts your feelings. Sometimes the direct approach is required, even if it may seem harsh at first.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Yesterday at work, my male co-worker hugged me so hard that my breasts were sore afterward. I felt violated. Could this be sexual harassment? Should I say something to my boss? -- Violated, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR VIOLATED: Start with the co-worker, if you have the courage to do so. Tell him that you were caught off guard by the hug he gave you and that you did not appreciate it. Tell him that you feel like he crossed the line of appropriateness.

From there, do not hug him anymore. If he attempts to hug or touch you, back up and make it clear that you are uninterested. It could be that your co-worker didn't realize his strength. It's also possible that he has an interest in you or that his behavior could be headed toward harassment. If he does anything else untoward, that's when you take it to your boss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is an extreme hoarder. She holds on to everything! Since my dad passed away three years ago, her house has turned into a hellhole. I've tried helping her clean it out, but she's so stubborn. She says everything reminds her of my dad so she can't come to terms with throwing it out. She even has my dad's old rusty razor. I want to help her move on from these material objects that are preventing her from enjoying life. How do I help her? -- Clean, Chicago

DEAR CLEAN: If you have ever watched the show "Hoarders," you know hoarding is considered a form of mental sickness. As you already know, simply telling your mother that you want to help her clean is going nowhere. In her case, she is also in mourning.

One way to help her that she may be open to is grief counseling. Instead of talking about the state of her home, suggest that you and she go to grief counseling together. Point out that you know it is still tough to be without your dad and that you think a professional may be able to help you both heal.

Identify a grief counselor in your area. If you can get your mother to take this first step, you may be able to broach the subject of her hoarding nature once she feels comfortable talking about her situation.

Some mental health professionals suggest that family members and loved ones can stage an intervention. This can be extremely challenging but can have positive effects. You will need to educate yourself about hoarding and how to help your mother consider changing her ways. Visit The Anxiety and Depression Association of America's website for suggestions: adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/hoarding-basics.

Know, however, that you cannot control your mother's life. You may be able to get her to consider letting go of some of her possessions. If you fail at that, you can still love her and do your best to keep her safe.