DEAR HARRIETTE: Yesterday at work, my male co-worker hugged me so hard that my breasts were sore afterward. I felt violated. Could this be sexual harassment? Should I say something to my boss? -- Violated, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR VIOLATED: Start with the co-worker, if you have the courage to do so. Tell him that you were caught off guard by the hug he gave you and that you did not appreciate it. Tell him that you feel like he crossed the line of appropriateness.

From there, do not hug him anymore. If he attempts to hug or touch you, back up and make it clear that you are uninterested. It could be that your co-worker didn't realize his strength. It's also possible that he has an interest in you or that his behavior could be headed toward harassment. If he does anything else untoward, that's when you take it to your boss.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is an extreme hoarder. She holds on to everything! Since my dad passed away three years ago, her house has turned into a hellhole. I've tried helping her clean it out, but she's so stubborn. She says everything reminds her of my dad so she can't come to terms with throwing it out. She even has my dad's old rusty razor. I want to help her move on from these material objects that are preventing her from enjoying life. How do I help her? -- Clean, Chicago

DEAR CLEAN: If you have ever watched the show "Hoarders," you know hoarding is considered a form of mental sickness. As you already know, simply telling your mother that you want to help her clean is going nowhere. In her case, she is also in mourning.

One way to help her that she may be open to is grief counseling. Instead of talking about the state of her home, suggest that you and she go to grief counseling together. Point out that you know it is still tough to be without your dad and that you think a professional may be able to help you both heal.

Identify a grief counselor in your area. If you can get your mother to take this first step, you may be able to broach the subject of her hoarding nature once she feels comfortable talking about her situation.

Some mental health professionals suggest that family members and loved ones can stage an intervention. This can be extremely challenging but can have positive effects. You will need to educate yourself about hoarding and how to help your mother consider changing her ways. Visit The Anxiety and Depression Association of America's website for suggestions: adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/hoarding-basics.

Know, however, that you cannot control your mother's life. You may be able to get her to consider letting go of some of her possessions. If you fail at that, you can still love her and do your best to keep her safe.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married to my husband for nine years, but I am no longer in love with him. I met my husband in college, and we married four years later. The first five years of our marriage were amazing. We went on vacations, we traveled on a regular basis and we were living the life. However, something changed in our relationship. We've been on a steady decline for the past five years, and I would love to recreate the magical moments of our past. How can I make my relationship as it once was? -- Where Did the Love Go?, New York City

DEAR WHERE DID THE LOVE GO?: Take a few minutes and travel down memory lane. What specific activities did you and your husband enjoy the most? Which vacations do you treasure? Perhaps you can schedule a vacation with him to one of those magical destinations.

Simpler still is to create "date night." Many happily married couples schedule a weekly date where they dedicate time to each other. You can go to the movies, out to dinner, for a long walk. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it does have to be a commitment you make to your marriage to enjoy each other. Occasionally you can extend an invitation to another couple to join you for date night so that you have fun together. Making the choice to reignite your marriage is what will bring back the joy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am taking a Spanish class to complete my general requirements for graduation, and I do not feel like I am getting the necessary information from my professor. Last week, I asked him a question about Spanish sentence structure because I wanted to make some kind of sense on how to write a sentence in Spanish. My professor blew off my question and told me to memorize the photocopied lessons instead. I asked my professor if there is a book I could use as a reference; he did not recommend a book. The semester is almost halfway over, and I really would like to have a working understanding of Spanish, but I don't know what to do. -- Como Se Llama?, Newark, N.J.

DEAR COMO SE LLAMA?: Ask your teacher if you can schedule a conference with him. In a private meeting, talk to him about your concerns. Find out what the expectations are for students in your level. If you are in an entry-level Spanish class, you may not be expected to write full sentences. Find out the specifics. If you believe that you do not have the ability to execute the requirements, ask him for guidance on how to do that.

Know that memorization is a part of learning. If you understand the material that he has asked you to memorize and you follow his instruction, you may actually find that you will be learning the basics of sentence structure. Review the pages in question with him to gain clarity on the content there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who I believe has a drinking problem. My friend has been through a divorce, and his parents moved into his house after theirs burnt down. At first he drank only when he went to parties, but as of late, my friend is drinking at all times of the day. He takes a shot before he brushes his teeth in the morning. I am concerned about my friend. I saw it with my own eyes. I stayed over at his house one night and saw him drinking at like 7 a.m. How can I help him through this time of transition? -- Being a Friend, Memphis, TN

DEAR BEING A FRIEND: Of course you know that drinking will not make your friend's problems go away. Unfortunately, you can't make them disappear, either. Bring this up to your friend. When you witnessed him drink before brushing his teeth, you could have said, "What are you doing, man? Do you know what time it is?" That may have jarred him into reality.

In as sober a time as you can find him, tell him that you are concerned about him. Be honest and upfront about your observation of his drinking. Ask him if he would be willing to go to Alcoholics Anonymous to get support to stop. You can introduce the idea, but he has to take the step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm writing about the woman who is with an overly frugal guy who made her pay when they went to an expensive restaurant. This man will never splurge. The woman must be prepared to carry her own weight if she continues this relationship. I married a man like this. He is not only frugal, but is a taker. He loves to receive gifts and have people do things for him, but he never reciprocates. He has never given me a nice gift.

If I had not been able to financially carry my own weight, the marriage would not have lasted 31 years. He is easy to get along with as long as I pay my own way. I choose to continue this marriage because I've been married twice before. In other words, I can't be picky. -- Don't Do It, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR DON'T DO IT: Thank you for your candor. I think you are right in pointing out that people are the way they are. If you are a person who does not spend a lot of money, especially not on others, that behavior probably won't change after you get married. So, as the spouse, it is wise to accept that and figure out how to create your own joy where it is lacking in your relationship or teach him little things that will be fulfilling for you.

In your case, I hope that you have found joy in your 31 years of marriage. I happen to think that regardless of how many failures you may have experienced in life, you still deserve to be loved the way that you want and need to be loved.