DEAR HARRIETTE: It's been six months since I started my period. I absolutely hate tampons and pads. I don't know if I'm using tampons wrong or if it doesn't work for me (is that possible?), and when I wear pads, I feel like I'm wearing a diaper. Any advice? Alternatives? Help! -- Becoming a Woman, Jacksonville, FL

DEAR BECOMING A WOMAN: Congratulations on beginning the journey of womanhood. It has many twists and turns, some extremely exciting, others uncomfortable. The great news is that there are many products on the market that are designed to make your monthly cycle as comfortable as possible.

While it can be daunting to figure out what is for you, take some time in a large drugstore to go down the aisle of feminine products and look at the various configurations offered. Depending upon the fullness of your cycle, you can select from an assortment of pads that may work for you, many that are slim in nature and do not feel like a diaper.

There is also a new product on the market that may be of interest to you, the diva cup (divacup.com). Talk to your doctor about this option that some women are finding more manageable than others.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. We met in a club in New York City, and after a few dates I fell for him. He has met my family, and they all love him, too. Here's where it twists: my best friend, Harry, has an online dating account and found my man on it! Not only that, my best friend is gay, and my boyfriend's account says he is interested in men. I am a girl. I don't even know what to do or say. I'm in love with him, but this frightens me. Advice? Where do I even start? -- Confused, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR CONFUSED: Confront your boyfriend immediately and tell him what you learned. Ask him if he currently or ever has been intimately involved with a man. Be specific in your questioning so that you make it difficult for him to dodge the topic. Watch the way he reacts to your questions to get a sense of whether he is telling the truth.

Don't back down about what you have discovered. That he has put himself on a gay dating site is disturbing, especially if you believed that the two of you were exclusive.

If you are sexually active with him, I hope that you were tested for HIV first. If not, now is the time to do so. I just learned about an at-home testing product that will tell you your status in 20 minutes. Go to oraquick.com for details.

You say that you love this man, and perhaps you do. But if he has betrayed your trust by choosing to be involved outside of your relationship, it is time for you to evaluate whether your emotions are stronger than the facts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a whole new view of my cousin after meeting one of his friends while I was traveling for business. I have often thought of him as kind of slow and annoying. Really, he often gets on my nerves. So it was a big surprise to hear this friend of his go on and on about how fabulous he is and how well-read and great he is. Now, I know he is nice, but she poured it on. It got me to thinking that I have been passing judgment on him that is too harsh. Part of me wants to apologize to him for that, but I also don't want to draw attention to my not-so-nice thoughts. How can I acknowledge that my opinion has changed about him? -- Reconsidering Cousin, Miami

DEAR RECONSIDERING COUSIN: Why not start by telling him how nice it was to listen to his friend sing his praises? Recount your visit with his friend and be sure to detail the wonderful things she said about him. Admit that you did not know all of those things. Tell him how proud it made you feel to hear him being so fully celebrated.

Rather than going further to outline how you used to think about him, moving forward, treat him with greater respect.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are in a lot of debt. We have been struggling for a long time and see little way out. The other day my husband suggested we cut off our cable to reduce expenses. I don't want to do that. We can't afford to go to the movies, so cable affords me the chance to watch movies and stuff. I know it is expensive, but I don't want to say yes to this. Am I being selfish? He says I am ridiculous because we can hardly pay the mortgage and I want to watch TV. But what will we do if we don't have cable? He and I hardly ever talk to each other. I don't think that is going to suddenly change. I know I may sound like a spoiled brat, but I don't want to agree to this. What are my options? -- Holding On, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR HOLDING ON: You and your husband have valid points that you should both consider. Clearly, if your shelter is in question because you cannot afford to pay your mortgage, cable TV should be less important.

I recommend that you and he sit down and create a budget that honestly outlines all of your debt and income so that you can see on paper where you stand. Itemize everything so that you have full disclosure. Next, research alternatives to the way you watch television. There are a number of options that are available these days that are much more affordable than traditional cable, everything from Netflix to Apple TV and more. It is possible for you to keep watching plenty of programs and still save money.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Sending you a huge THANK YOU for standing up for the sanctity of marriage in your answer to "On the Brink" regarding her desire for having an open marriage. I feel you give excellent advice to all who write to you. Keep standing up for what is moral and right. -- Faithful Roman Catholic, Chicago

DEAR FAITHFUL ROMAN CATHOLIC: I do think that for most people an "open marriage" leads to far more problems than it is worth. Holding onto each other makes more sense to me for a host of reasons.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I strongly disagree with your advice to "Guilty" in New York City. She feels guilty about an affair she had and feels she ought to tell her husband. You told her that if it comes up, she shouldn't lie, but that she should not tell her husband. I wholeheartedly disagree! If she cares about her marriage, she must tell him. How much better to be honest with her husband and not wait for it to surface and then tell the truth. If "Guilty" wants her relationship with her spouse to continue and thrive, this "indiscretion" (as you called it) needs to come out in the open, and they need to heal from it together. It is dishonest to try to carry on without recognizing the consequences of the affair. Carrying around such a heavy burden of guilt and sin is detrimental in every way and will eventually affect the quality of their marriage. The fact that Guilty feels she should tell her husband about it three years after the fact tells me the affair haunts her -- probably daily. She will not find peace until she confesses to her husband and apologizes for jeopardizing their marriage. Like the old adage goes, "Confession is good for the soul." -- Tell the Truth, Reno, Nev.

DEAR TELL THE TRUTH: I accept your opinion and want to further discuss this distressing situation. I agree that Guilty will feel relief after telling her husband, and I understand your point that if she is still holding onto it, the situation is bothering her. I ask, though, to what end is she sharing this information? If it is because she wants to unload her guilt, what happens next? Obviously she will hurt her husband's heart. And?

I am not a believer in lying -- period -- let alone to your spouse. But I also do not think it is kind or thoughtful to dredge up the past in order to relieve yourself if, in reality, it likely ends up creating a deeper wound for all.

Now, playing devil's advocate, I do see that if all cards are on the table that could create space for a refreshed relationship between the two. But if the primary reason for revealing this violation is to take the weight off of her shoulders, I actually think the revelation will be selfish.

I would very much like to hear from others on whether they have had success in situations like this. Let us continue this conversation. Please, Readers, share your perspectives.