DEAR HARRIETTE: Sending you a huge THANK YOU for standing up for the sanctity of marriage in your answer to "On the Brink" regarding her desire for having an open marriage. I feel you give excellent advice to all who write to you. Keep standing up for what is moral and right. -- Faithful Roman Catholic, Chicago

DEAR FAITHFUL ROMAN CATHOLIC: I do think that for most people an "open marriage" leads to far more problems than it is worth. Holding onto each other makes more sense to me for a host of reasons.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I strongly disagree with your advice to "Guilty" in New York City. She feels guilty about an affair she had and feels she ought to tell her husband. You told her that if it comes up, she shouldn't lie, but that she should not tell her husband. I wholeheartedly disagree! If she cares about her marriage, she must tell him. How much better to be honest with her husband and not wait for it to surface and then tell the truth. If "Guilty" wants her relationship with her spouse to continue and thrive, this "indiscretion" (as you called it) needs to come out in the open, and they need to heal from it together. It is dishonest to try to carry on without recognizing the consequences of the affair. Carrying around such a heavy burden of guilt and sin is detrimental in every way and will eventually affect the quality of their marriage. The fact that Guilty feels she should tell her husband about it three years after the fact tells me the affair haunts her -- probably daily. She will not find peace until she confesses to her husband and apologizes for jeopardizing their marriage. Like the old adage goes, "Confession is good for the soul." -- Tell the Truth, Reno, Nev.

DEAR TELL THE TRUTH: I accept your opinion and want to further discuss this distressing situation. I agree that Guilty will feel relief after telling her husband, and I understand your point that if she is still holding onto it, the situation is bothering her. I ask, though, to what end is she sharing this information? If it is because she wants to unload her guilt, what happens next? Obviously she will hurt her husband's heart. And?

I am not a believer in lying -- period -- let alone to your spouse. But I also do not think it is kind or thoughtful to dredge up the past in order to relieve yourself if, in reality, it likely ends up creating a deeper wound for all.

Now, playing devil's advocate, I do see that if all cards are on the table that could create space for a refreshed relationship between the two. But if the primary reason for revealing this violation is to take the weight off of her shoulders, I actually think the revelation will be selfish.

I would very much like to hear from others on whether they have had success in situations like this. Let us continue this conversation. Please, Readers, share your perspectives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend has a serious problem: She is constantly checking her various social media pages to see if people responded to her status updates. My girlfriend's phone stays attached to her hand. We went to dinner last week, and she looked at her phone every 10 minutes. At one point, I was talking to the top of her head because she was checking her phone. There is a point where we need to put down our smartphones and enjoy the magical moments of life. I would love for you to help me convey this feeling to my girlfriend. -- Low-Tech Boyfriend, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR LOW-TECH BOYFRIEND: Your desire to spend quality time with your girlfriend is perfectly understandable. Unfortunately, it is also quite common for people to get so caught up in their social media experiences that they forget where they are or who is with them.

I talk a lot about the need to strike a balance between technology and humanity. Without balance, technology takes over people's lives and can leave little room for precious human interaction.

Some couples have found solutions. One idea is to agree to put away all electronic devices during dates, or at least during the course of a meal. Another idea is to put your electronics in a bowl at the front door when you get home, only to pick them up again just before you are going out again. Hard to do, but definitely worth it! Ask your girlfriend to consider a compromise that makes room for the two of you to enjoy each other's company.

DEAR HARRIETTE: We got a car, but my wife refuses to learn how to drive. I decided to purchase the car after our second child was born. She believes that the man should drive his family around. I understand where she is coming from, but this man needs to work as well just to keep food in the refrigerator and a roof over our heads. The car is at her disposal while I am at work, but she would rather take a cab or the subway. I encouraged her to take some driving lessons, but she refuses. I would like to find a happy medium before I get burnt out. -- Driving My Family, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR DRIVING MY FAMILY: Sounds like your wife is afraid to drive. That is not unusual considering that she is an adult who has never been behind the wheel. Many people in New York City do not drive, as I am certain you know, because public transportation makes it easy and affordable to get around.

For now, do not press your wife. That is not going to result in the solution you want. Instead, use the car when you need to. And help your wife plan how she can fulfill the duties that are hers. If she can get her tasks handled via public transportation, so be it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married to my best friend for 10 years now. I had a day off from work, and I decided to wash his laundry. I usually check the pockets of his clothes to see if he left anything in them, and to my surprise, I found a receipt saying there was purchase of condoms. I am livid -- we have been married for 10 years, so why would he need to purchase condoms at this stage in our marriage? When my husband came home, I questioned him about the receipt. He said he made the purchase for a friend from college. I know marriage has its difficulties, but do you expect me to believe my husband? Why wasn't his friend able to purchase his own condoms? I don't know what to think right now, and I need some clarity. -- Fool in Love, New York City

DEAR FOOL IN LOVE: It is understandable that you would be livid. Unfortunately, cornering your husband to confront him about the receipt surely made him defensive. Why don't you revisit this sensitive issue with a cooler head? Tell him you need to address it again because the discovery really threw you. Ask him to tell you the truth about what is going on -- with his friend or him.

Start the conversation by telling him how the discovery made you feel. Explain that you were shocked to see the receipt, that it immediately made you question the sanctity of your marriage and that you really want to know what is going on. Tell him that it is hard for you to believe that he bought those condoms for someone else. Ask him to share more with you on that topic. If he is reluctant or refuses, speak about your marriage. Explain to him that your heart tells you that this has rattled the covenant of your marriage and that it is important for you to have a full, honest conversation with him about this in order for you to regain your trust in him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children would like to participate in Halloween festivities this year; however, due to our religious affiliations, we will not be able to. I would hate to tell my children that they would not be able to participate. Do you have any suggestions on how we can have fun without disrupting our religious beliefs? -- Looking for a Treat, Newark, N.J.

DEAR LOOKING FOR A TREAT: If you are firm on your beliefs, you need to convey that to your children. The conversation needs to include specific religious details that support your position so that you can educate your children.

Further, you should talk to your children about embracing your family's values, even when they differ from others in their peer group. As it relates to doing something fun for your children, yes, you can come up with an alternate activity. Perhaps you can go to the movies or plan a fun family dinner. What you do not want to do is imitate Halloween in a watered-down way. Do not confuse your children about your views. At the same time, do not teach them to pass judgment on their friends who may celebrate the holiday.