DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been married to my best friend for 10 years now. I had a day off from work, and I decided to wash his laundry. I usually check the pockets of his clothes to see if he left anything in them, and to my surprise, I found a receipt saying there was purchase of condoms. I am livid -- we have been married for 10 years, so why would he need to purchase condoms at this stage in our marriage? When my husband came home, I questioned him about the receipt. He said he made the purchase for a friend from college. I know marriage has its difficulties, but do you expect me to believe my husband? Why wasn't his friend able to purchase his own condoms? I don't know what to think right now, and I need some clarity. -- Fool in Love, New York City

DEAR FOOL IN LOVE: It is understandable that you would be livid. Unfortunately, cornering your husband to confront him about the receipt surely made him defensive. Why don't you revisit this sensitive issue with a cooler head? Tell him you need to address it again because the discovery really threw you. Ask him to tell you the truth about what is going on -- with his friend or him.

Start the conversation by telling him how the discovery made you feel. Explain that you were shocked to see the receipt, that it immediately made you question the sanctity of your marriage and that you really want to know what is going on. Tell him that it is hard for you to believe that he bought those condoms for someone else. Ask him to share more with you on that topic. If he is reluctant or refuses, speak about your marriage. Explain to him that your heart tells you that this has rattled the covenant of your marriage and that it is important for you to have a full, honest conversation with him about this in order for you to regain your trust in him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children would like to participate in Halloween festivities this year; however, due to our religious affiliations, we will not be able to. I would hate to tell my children that they would not be able to participate. Do you have any suggestions on how we can have fun without disrupting our religious beliefs? -- Looking for a Treat, Newark, N.J.

DEAR LOOKING FOR A TREAT: If you are firm on your beliefs, you need to convey that to your children. The conversation needs to include specific religious details that support your position so that you can educate your children.

Further, you should talk to your children about embracing your family's values, even when they differ from others in their peer group. As it relates to doing something fun for your children, yes, you can come up with an alternate activity. Perhaps you can go to the movies or plan a fun family dinner. What you do not want to do is imitate Halloween in a watered-down way. Do not confuse your children about your views. At the same time, do not teach them to pass judgment on their friends who may celebrate the holiday.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I are stuck in a very bad pattern of arguing about every little thing all the time. Sometimes I will just walk around the house without talking because I feel like whatever I say is going to spark an argument. He picks at every little thing, and he says I do the same. Naturally, I think that my criticisms are warranted, but these days I can't even tell. All I know is that I am at my wits' end. I do not like my husband anymore. He is not nice to me. I do not like my life. I am constantly in a state of anxiety not knowing what is going to happen next. I don't mean violence, at least not physical. But the war of words is wearing me down. I'm sick of it, but I don't know how to make it stop. -- Worn Out, Chicago

DEAR WORN OUT: You and your husband could benefit tremendously from therapy. Having a neutral party help you figure out the underlying causes for the hostility that seems to be festering may be your ticket to becoming free of this pattern. Ask your husband if he would consider going to therapy with you. If he says no, consider going on your own.

In general, pay attention to your surroundings. What happens right before an argument starts? How do you speak to your husband? Do you say "Good morning"? Do you ask him how his day was? Are there any safe conversations that you have right now? Can you think of any occasions when you get along? If so, examine those to see what worked and how you might incorporate the good communication in other scenarios. Do your best to speak to your husband in a neutral tone. Avoid accusatory language or intonation. Be kind. You may both want to read the book "Conversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most Destructive Communication Patterns," by Ben E. Benjamin, Amy Yeager and Anita Simon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just read the most scathing commentary about me on social media. I am so upset. Somebody who doesn't even have the courage to say his or her real name wrote horrible things about me and then pushed it out on social media. I don't know what to do. I feel like I should correct the many errors that were spewed about me and defend myself. But then part of me feels like I don't want to stoop to that person's level. It was so hateful and mean. But now these awful things about me are out there in the universe. What should I do? -- Defamed, Detroit

DEAR DEFAMED: Social media draws out the cowards in our society specifically because you can be anonymous when you post things. As hard as it may be right now, it is best for you to leave this alone. Do not respond.

You can reach the social media provider to let it know that this person defamed you. On some occasions the host will remove malicious or libelous content.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close guy friend whom I am not interested in at all. He and I have a past together, but we have moved on and are good friends. His mom, however, thinks we are going to get married. He is close with his mom, and I think she has influenced his thoughts about us. He has a girlfriend. He and I have started to talk more because the pressure is off. He wants me to come visit him and has talked about visiting me since we live in different states. We have never visited each other before, and I find it inappropriate of him to make that suggestion even though we are friends and he has a girlfriend. What should I say to him? -- Uncomfortable, Jacksonville, Fla.

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: There must be more to this situation than you have written. What comes across is that you believe this young man is conflicted over his feelings for you, perhaps as egged on by his mother. And you question his motive for wanting you two to visit each other, especially since this never occurred in the past.

Ask him to tell you why he has made the request. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable and you do not think it is a good idea.

I'm not sure that the request is inappropriate, though. If you believe he wants to be romantically involved with you again, it would be. Find out what his motive is. And be clear where you draw the line. You want to remain his friend, but no visits allowed, at least not solo.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is about to get evicted from her apartment. She told me the other day that she got an eviction notice. I feel so bad for her. Though she didn't ask me, I could help her out financially. I don't want to embarrass her or strain our friendship. My thought is to just give her a lump sum and tell her no strings attached so that she doesn't have to worry about paying me back, which could set up an embarrassing strain on our friendship. I am not rich, by the way, but I have saved up some money and would be happy to help out my friend. She has struggled a lot this year, and isn't that what friends are for? How can I bring this up to her so that it isn't awkward? -- Friend in Deed, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FRIEND IN DEED: Good for you for having this outlook. Your generous spirit is noteworthy. Contact your friend immediately and ask if you two can meet. When you're face to face, tell her how much you love her and how sorry you are for the hardship she has endured of late. Tell her that you want to help. Give her an envelope with the check or cash in it, and explain that it is your gift to her to help her through this tough time. Be clear that she does not have to pay you back. It is a gift.