DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having a tough time finding a job in this economy. I used to work on Wall Street, and I made an incredible amount of money before the recession in 2008. I lived a life that many people could only dream of. Five years later, I am having a tough time finding work that would pay me a respectable wage. I feel like the walls are caving in around me, and I am wondering what I should do next? Should I go to trade school and pick up a trade, or should I go back to college and get a degree? I need your help. -- Low Equity, Manhattan, N.Y.

DEAR LOW EQUITY: The Great Recession of 2008 became the great equalizer in that thousands of people who were high wage earners went to zero dollars in what seemed like the blink of an eye. Life is largely different now for many people. Longing for the salaries of old has, for many, turned into acceptance that there is a new normal, and it is generally not as high paying as in the past.

That seems to be your story. Yes, you need to start thinking out of the box. Consider what skills you have that you may not have thought about in the past. What can you do? Sure, a trade could be an option. Do some research to determine what trades -- that you find interesting -- are garnering the most pay. Pursuing a degree is another viable option if you plan it out as a strategy for entering a field that you know is hiring. Industry experts suggest that jobs in the medical and hospital arenas are plentiful, especially in the area of digital records. Accounting is also stable. Look for other options too. Be willing to work for much less than you once earned. Pare down your life so that you can afford whatever your new income will be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was asked to join an independent business venture with a group of people I know through my industry. The conversations have been interesting, but I am not sure if the project makes sense for me. I have a business, job and very little time to devote to something new. I have a young child and do my best to spend time with her and my husband whenever I can. The idea sounds interesting, though, and I don't want to upset the people who invited me to participate. How can I bow out gracefully? -- Too Much, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR TOO MUCH: Be honest. Express your sincere interest in the idea that they are discussing. Thank them for considering you to be a part of their team. And then let them know that you do not have the bandwidth now to move forward.

Tell them the truth, that you are committed to your family and, out of respect for their process, you are sure that you do not have the requisite time to give to see it to success. Ask them to think about you in the future and wish them well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 3-year-old son will start preschool in two weeks, and I am worried that I may not be able to take him on the first day. The company I work for is particular about people being late or missing time from work. I run the risk of being reprimanded if I decide to take my son to his first day of school, but I will be sad if I do not take him. What is a single mom to do? -- First Day of School Blues, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL BLUES: Wow, I hope I am not responding to you too late. But here goes: Be pre-emptive. Speak to your boss immediately and ask for permission to come to work late on that day. While it makes perfect sense that your company expects you to come to work on time, it is also possible that they will understand if you ask in advance.

Because you are a parent, you need to establish a relationship with your company that will make it possible for you to leave in case of emergency. Trust that when you have children, there are almost always times when you will need to leave early or not come to work in order to care for your child -- unless you have someone who can cover for you. If you are able to establish a respectful rapport with your boss now, where it is obvious that you do a great job when you are there and make up for it when you are not, you stand a greater chance of receiving that much-needed flexibility.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a terrible mistake of quitting my job in the fashion industry and moving out of New York City to live with my girlfriend in Boston. Now I am miserable. My life has not been the same since I moved to Boston. I have squandered all my money trying to please my girlfriend only to find out that she was cheating on me. I plan to go back to New York and try to find a job and a place to live, but I have a small problem. I have no friends who I can ask to stay with while I try to back on my feet. I am embarrassed about my current situation. If I can get back to New York, I know I can get back on my feet, but I do not know what first step should be. Please help. -- Fool in Love, Boston

DEAR FOOL IN LOVE: Starting over can be excruciating, especially when you feel duped. You need to slow down and survey your landscape. What can you do in order to stabilize your income and make a strategic plan for moving? You should not move back to New York with no resources and nowhere to lay your head. Instead, work where you are. Move -- if you haven't already -- into a small, affordable space. Save every penny you can. Stay away from your ex. Surround yourself with positive people. Put out feelers for work where you are, in New York and elsewhere in your area of expertise.

DEAR READERS: Once again we are solemnly at the anniversary of 9/11, a day that we will never forget. Sadly, it is part of our nation's history that reminds us that there is always a tug between freedom and vulnerability.

I remember pre-9/11 when I went to the airport and did not have to take off my shoes or be frisked or subjected to a body scan. I remember when people moved with relative innocence from one place to another, not imagining that a random person might want to do them harm.

While in large part our nation remains the great meeting ground of opportunity, plenty and openness, it is constantly being plagued with the question of whether we are safe.

In our recent past we have had all manner of tragedies, from the Boston Marathon bombings to random shootings in schools such as Newtown, Conn., and Atlanta, as well as the movie theater in Aurora, Colo. We have experienced controversial killings, most recently that of Trayvon Martin. Whether fired by weapons aimed out of fear or hatred, our nation's very skin has been riddled with bullets that threaten our soul.

And yet, we will never give up hope. In the year that we commemorate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington for Freedom and Jobs, we remember that even in times of need, sorrow or sadness, there is more good in our nation than bad.

In this moment when we honor the innocent fallen who lost their lives on that tragic September day, we must take a pause and contemplate where we are today, individually.

In peaceful reflection we must search our souls to see how we can contribute to the promise that is the international draw of this great country. What can we do to grow peace and prosperity? I do not mean this rhetorically. Literally, I implore us all to ask ourselves this question.

At any given moment we are faced with choices. We can choose to help quiet restless members of our families and neighborhoods. We can choose to direct our own steps toward loving communication and thoughtful acts. We can choose to take a deep breath and not lash out at our loved ones when we or they are in a fit of frustration. We can choose to stand up for our neighbors and co-workers and friends when others have done them wrong. We can choose to report a crime that has been committed, even when it would be easy to turn our heads. We can choose to be responsible for doing our part to keep our country healthy and safe.

The question is: Will we? Too often we go about our daily lives putting one foot in front of the other without consciously thinking about where we are going. Too often we hurt the people we care about the most. Or scapegoat the weak in order to promote ourselves. Too often these things happen without our even realizing it.

I believe one way that we can protect our great country and our beloved families is to wake up. We can start our day with the intention of being our best selves, knowing that if we exemplify honorable living, others may too. It's that Golden Rule. It still applies.