DEAR HARRIETTE: I am starting my second year of college. I have been talking to my future roommate, and I've enjoyed our conversations thus far. However, I found out that she has living habits that I am not completely fond of. She stays up really late, and she likes to throw parties. I don't think that is going to be very good when we actually do room together. What should I do? -- Skittish Roommate, Philadelphia

DEAR SKITTISH ROOMMATE: Part of the beauty of being able to talk in advance of school starting is that you and your roommate are getting to know each other. Feel confident about sharing who you are with your roommate. Speak up and tell her that you value your studies a lot and think that you two will probably need to compromise on some of the activities that occur in your room during the school year.

As far as her staying up late, tell her you go to bed early and that you hope you two can figure out how to keep the sound down so that it works for both of you. Party time needs to be on the weekend, and not every weekend. Tell her you would like to participate in the planning of having multiple guests over. In general, describe to her how you live and what your hope your dorm experience will be like. Then negotiate with each other. This negotiation, by the way, will last for the duration of your stay together. It is a fluid experience.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. It was a long-distance relationship, and I didn't see him often. But his sister and some of his other family members still live in my city. I have gotten very close to them, and they say they consider me a family member. When we broke up I was afraid that I wouldn't have the same relationship that I had with his family. I called his sister and she still feels the same way. How can I deal with this change? -- Bridging the Divide, San Francisco

DEAR BRIDGING THE DIVIDE: Welcome to the reality of long-term dating and breakups. It is natural that you became close to your ex's family. The natural progression of a committed relationship is that both partners become close to both families. When people marry, it is extremely helpful for the families to be bonded.

The challenge when you break up is that those ties are often still binding. In this case, you are still fresh out of your relationship. Yes, you can remain friendly with his family. No, you should not talk to them about the breakup or any intimacies between you and your ex. But over time, if both you and his family members continue to want to be in communication with each other, you can. I would add that out of respect for your ex, you should let him know that you continue to be in touch with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been talking to this guy every day for a while. I really like him. He seems nice, and it's cool that he likes to talk to me on the phone a lot -- a lot of guys only like to text with their dates. We've gone out multiple times, and that has been fun, too. He has always paid for our dates.

This week he sent me a picture of his private area. I didn't ask him for it. I think that he wants a picture from me. How do I tell him that I'm not comfortable with that and not to send pictures to me? -- Grossed Out, Westchester, N.Y.

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Be direct when you talk to him. Do not use a text message to speak to him. Wait until you are face-to-face. Tell him that you found the picture offensive. Yes, you like him, but you are not in a sexual relationship, plus you would not want him to text you sexual pictures even if you were. Point out that you know a lot of people do this sexting thing with pictures and racy texts, but it is not your thing.

Ask him if he is willing to curb that behavior. You need to know where he stands on this so that you can decide if you want to keep talking to him. Unfortunately, because sexting is so rampant, it may not seem like a big deal to him, even though it is to you. Figure out if you have shared values and proceed accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get my child to practice good hygiene? My 11-year-old son is going to middle school in the fall. He has a tendency to not take regular showers. I told him multiple times that if he doesn't bathe in a reasonable amount of time, he would either be punished or there will be consequences. I'm afraid that he will keep up these bad habits when he gets older. -- Dealing With Dirt, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR DEALING WITH DIRT: Talk to your son about the importance of regularly bathing his body and how it leads to good health. Also, talk to him about his changing body. He is soon to enter puberty, which means he will be developing body hair and will likely develop body odor if he does not regularly clean himself. Educate him on the young man he is becoming. Empower him with information about himself. This may inspire him to bathe a bit more frequently.

You can absolutely also put your foot down about how often he must bathe. If he refuses, take away privileges that he values, such as video games, TV, play dates, etc. Figure out what would motivate him to clean up because he would hate to lose some aspect of his daily life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have worked at a prestigious law firm in midtown Manhattan for four years. I am one of the senior paralegals, and I work specifically for one of the partners of the firm. However, every graduation season (May-June), another part of my job is to introduce the new associates to firm and help them adjust and lend any helping hand I can. Every year, I get that one graduate who thinks he is a complete hotshot and who swears he will become the "best closer the firm has ever seen." This usually leads to him hitting on me in the first 10 minutes. I guess it is flattering, but I really can't take it anymore. My boss thinks it is funny, and we usually joke about the horrific pickup lines, but now I am just annoyed with it. What should I do? -- Dissed, New York City

DEAR DISSED: A mistake you and your boss made was to make light of the inappropriate comments when they first started. It is not acceptable for co-workers to try to make a pass at other co-workers, especially when there has been no overture to suggest that this is OK.

You need to learn how to put these young hopefuls in their place. The next time you hear one of the pickup lines, you can quip, "Bandying about that kind of talk instead of paying attention to the job at hand can get you ousted before you know it." You could say, "Want to try that line out on Human Resources? How far do you think you would get?" Or even, "I hope you are better at your job than you are at pickup lines."

I know this may seem hard to do, but using biting humor to put them in their place is a way of throwing cold water in their face. They likely do not know that they are being inappropriate. They probably think they are cocky and cute and even sexy. You can hold your own by standing up for yourself. Ask your boss to give them an introductory chat on how to speak to other staffers respectfully.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend, who I have been dating for three years, lied to me about what he does for a living. He told me that he worked at a brokerage firm similar to Charles Schwab, but I found out this is not the case. He works instead at three different jobs just to make what he said he did from the brokerage firm. While I wouldn't have felt differently about him if he had just told me, I feel lied to and I haven't spoken to him in a week. -- Duped, Chicago

DEAR DUPED: Your boyfriend clearly wanted to impress you. Rather than never talk to him, tell him that you would have been impressed by what he is actually doing. Lying is a deal breaker. Sit down with him and ask him to tell you if he has lied about anything else. Also, talk about the future and discuss if you care enough about each other to start over. Your decision should be based on whether you believe you can trust him moving forward.