DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old son likes a young lady who lives in our neighborhood. He told to me that he would like to take her to the movies for their first date. I am a little nervous to say yes because this is first time my son has expressed to me this type of feeling toward a young lady. I think I would like to chaperone my son on his date. I don't want to embarrass my son, but I want him to have a great time. What is a mother to do? -- Mother May I, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR MOTHER MAY I: Going to the movies can be a nice first date. What's even nicer is that your son is asking your permission to set it up. At age 16, it is normal for him to want to court a young lady. I suggest that you remind him of boundaries and appropriate behavior and let him go, with your blessing. If he has his own money, that's great. If he needs financial support, give him what it costs for the two tickets plus a little extra for snacks. You want him to feel empowered during the date to be a gentleman.

Give him a curfew. When he comes home, give him a little space. You can ask him how his date went, but let him reveal details. He could easily be a little uncomfortable about talking about this first time that he has invited a girl to go out. Over time, ease information out of him. If he seems to like this young lady, suggest that he invite her over sometime for a meal so that you can meet her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I placed an order with a local restaurant, and at the end of the order I told them that I would come to the restaurant to pick it up. When the food was ready, I went to the restaurant to pay. The cashier asked if I would like to leave a tip. I did not leave a tip because I went to the restaurant pick up my food. Do you think I should have left a tip? What is the proper etiquette when it comes to tipping for picking up an order? -- Hungry Man, Chicago

DEAR HUNGRY MAN: As you might imagine, there are varying opinions on this topic. People who have worked in food service suggest that you should leave something, up to 10 percent of the bill, because people who work at the restaurant prepared the food, packaged it and got it ready for you to pick up.

I would say that if you placed a very large or complicated order or if the restaurant did something else above and beyond the basics, it would be thoughtful to add a small tip. Outside of that, though, I do not subscribe to the automatic tip for takeout.

When it comes to eating in, 20 percent or more is the norm to follow unless you receive horrible service.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The situation "Tightrope" faced as a visitor with her two little boys in the home of a friend got me thinking. I have been in the shoes of the hostess mentioned -- she had to constantly be on guard when young children were present who had not been properly trained how to behave with other people's belongings. It is miserable for all involved.

At home is the place to start when toddlers first set out to explore. It is important to lovingly and consistently reinforce what is acceptable to touch and what isn't. We were able to take our four children anywhere and be quite confident that they would know how to be good guests. In our many years of ministry as pastors, we constantly heard what gracious and well-behaved children we had. Good manners helped them in so many areas of their lives. Our grandchildren and great-grandchildren are following in their parents' footsteps. -- Thankful Granny, Wyoming, Mich.

DEAR THANKFUL GRANNY: Teaching children manners at home at an early age is smart. As you experienced firsthand, it makes it much easier to bring your children out to restaurants, to other people's homes, etc., if they are clear about what is expected of them wherever they are going. This takes practice.

For those parents who have not tried or have not been successful at training their children how to respect people's space or belongings, it is not too late to start. Rather than chastising your children, which can make them intimidated and resentful, think of creative ways to get them engaged. Make a game where whoever follows the most rules wins a prize. Your games can run from who knows how to set and clear the table to how to eat properly to the "walk, don't run" rule indoors to how to use your inside voice. Have fun and teach along the way. Then remind your children of the ground rules and expectations before you take them on an outing. Most important, be consistent. How you want your children to behave outside the home is how they should behave inside.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm wondering if "Doubted," the reader who needs help from family all the time, has considered counseling to improve his self-esteem, volunteering to give back and learn some job skills or going to school to enhance his job skills?

If I loan money to someone I love, I would be happy if he offered to baby-sit, shop for groceries for me, weed the garden, pick up books at the library, bake, do laundry, wash the car -- the list of tangible ways to show gratitude is endless. -- Grateful, Shreveport, La.

DEAR GRATEFUL: Getting creative to figure out a way to make good on a debt even when you do not have the money in the short term is smart. It shows your debtor that you are serious about repaying your debt and that you are willing to do whatever you can to be of support when you do not literally have the dollars to give back.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just read the letter from "Crossroads," the couple in marriage counseling. I believe there is something else the couple can do to work on their knee-jerk reactions to get their angry behaviors in check and replace them with healthy behaviors. A good way to find solutions is to attend Al-Anon meetings regularly. Al-Anon is widely thought to be only for spouses of alcoholics; however, it is not. It is for anyone dealing with unhealthy behaviors. Instant anger is definitely a common reaction when communicating with another person, as is hanging on to old resentments. Working the 12 steps does wonders to improve relationships with family, friends, neighbors and strangers. It is a spiritually based group of loving people who have problems of their own and seek to improve family behavior by changing their own attitudes. Being honest is an important part of Al-Anon.

I urge all people who cannot seem to get rid of unhealthy behaviors to attend many, many meetings of Al-Anon, work the steps and continue to receive counseling. Be honest and direct. I have attended Al-Anon and Al-Anon Adult Children of Alcoholics for several years, and, along with finding a good therapist, have improved my behavior and attitudes exponentially. -- Much Happier, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR MUCH HAPPIER: Thank you for sharing such detail about the effectiveness of Al-Anon. I have not mentioned this vital service in some time, and it is perfect timing to do so now. Not only have thousands of people benefited from the fellowship that lives in each of these meetings, but it is free, too. There is no barrier prohibiting someone who needs support from getting it. To find a meeting in your area, look up Al-Anon in your city.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a relatively new organization that might be of interest to "I Am Not Even Hungry," and it is Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous, a nonprofit organization patterned after the highly recognized Alcoholics Anonymous.

I would suggest that you let your reader know about this organization and its website, which lists meetings available in his or her area. There are no weigh-ins, no fees and only first names are used. I know that it saved my life. It's not easy, but it is simple. -- Saved, Chicago

DEAR SAVED: Thank you for sharing this resource. For those in need, visit foodaddicts.org.