DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for about four years. I am almost 5 feet 2 inches tall and about 125 pounds. My boyfriend always says I am gaining too much weight. He can be really mean. Last year I discovered that he cheated on me with a fat girl. I cannot understand that for the life of me. What is that about? -- Insulted, Cincinnati

DEAR INSULTED: You and your boyfriend sound a bit confused. He doesn't seem to know what he wants in a relationship. You have tolerated his belittling comments followed by infidelity. You two need to have a meeting of the minds where you speak very directly about your relationship. It is incumbent upon you to speak up about your concerns. Ask him why he constantly rides you about your weight. (If it is true that you have been gaining, take that to heart, by the way. He may be concerned for your health.) Confront him about the affair. Ask why he betrayed your relationship. Follow up with why he cheated with a large woman while, at the same time, he criticizes you for your body

Who knows why he has made these choices? You need to figure out if it is worth it for you to continue in a relationship with him. Mutual respect is necessary for long-term success. If you can rekindle that, you may stand a chance. Do yourself a favor: If he does not become supportive of you in ways that make you feel loved, walk away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son was offered a chance to go on vacation with his best friend for a week to Florida. I love the idea -- as does my son -- but we cannot afford to send him. I spoke with the mom privately to break the news, and she informed me that she was inviting him as a treat. She did not expect me to pay. That is very generous of her, but I know how expensive this trip will be. I can give him only a few dollars toward his trip. How can I say yes? -- Longing Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR LONGING MOM: Talk further with the mom and lay your cards out on the table: Tell her exactly how much money you can contribute to the trip. It really may be fine with her to cover your son's costs. If not, she will tell you.

If she still wants your son to go, allow it. Talk to him about his behavior and about being frugal. Give him a little pocket change, but give the lion's share of your contribution to the mom. Know that this is not an uncommon practice, for school friends to invite friends to vacation with them. On plenty of occasions, the host family foots the bill, but you are wise to ask. You would never want to assume. But if you feel comfortable with the offer, let your son have a great time. Be sure to write a heartfelt thank-you note upon their return.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last Sunday, a woman at my church asked me if we could speak privately. I agreed. She told me she thinks I'm nice and a good man. I was flattered. She is an attractive, single woman around my age, so I thought this might be going somewhere. That's when she dropped the bomb: Because she thinks I am a great guy, she wants me to donate sperm to her so she can have a baby. She is in her late 30s, hasn't met the right guy yet and really wants to have a baby. She assured me that she does not want a relationship or anything. She would even pay for the sperm, if need be. Mainly, she wants a baby and thinks I would be a good donor. I was so offended. I would love to be a husband and father -- not a donor. I was so shocked I didn't say anything, and I need to respond. What do I say? -- Against the Grain, New Rochelle, N.Y.

DEAR AGAINST THE GRAIN: Follow up with her in person. Thank her for her kind comments about you. Tell her that you, too, would love to have a child, but that you are interested in a relationship, a wife and a child. You have no interest in being a donor. So, no thank you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have purposely found me a blind date even though they know I have a girlfriend. They hate my girlfriend, and it really bothers me. Every chance they get, they find some way to make a snide comment or correct her. It drives me crazy. Now my mom tells me that she wants to set me up on blind date with a girl I don't even know, and I think that's really disrespectful toward me and my girlfriend. What should I do to get my parents out of my love life? -- Fed Up, Philadelphia

DEAR FED UP: Have a heart-to-heart with your parents, and ask them why they do not like your girlfriend. Press them about their feelings and ask them to substantiate their reasons. Listen closely as they talk to see if they have any valid points that they are expressing. If you hear anything that you agree with, acknowledge as much and talk about it. If you disagree with their assessment, tell them that you respect them but do not agree with their opinions.

Remind them that you love them and know that they want the best for you and that you have to make your own decisions. Be clear that you are not interested in going on a blind date. Ask them to stop chastising your girlfriend. Express your belief that being snide is unkind and disrespectful to her. Ask your parents to give you space to explore your relationship and make your own mistakes. Ask for them to exercise loving distance, at least for now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This whole sexting thing with Anthony Weiner makes me sick and concerned. There was recently a sexting issue at my son's high school where several students were reprimanded for sending lewd photos to each other and sharing them with others. The teenagers didn't think it was a big deal at all -- even after they got caught. One of them even mentioned Weiner's situation, saying that if he can still run for mayor after all of the stuff he did, what's the big deal for them? They are just teenagers after all. How can I ensure that my son doesn't take on this warped view? -- Mortified, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR MORTIFIED: You are not alone in your concerns. This is a time when it is essential for you to remind your son of your values and expectations. People in the public eye and others do many things that your family may consider inappropriate. Point this out to your son. In this case, be sure to highlight that whatever you send via the Internet becomes part of the public domain and that you cannot guarantee that it remains private. Nothing should be shared that you deem salacious or embarrassing. As it relates to sexually explicit content, directly talk to your son about honoring his body, being respectful to any potential sexual partner and using discretion when it comes to taking actions for the thrill factor. Honestly, now is the time to revisit what, hopefully, you have done already, namely have the big talk about sex.

You can also watch with your son as Anthony Weiner's career and marriage begin to crumble. While we do not know yet what will happen to him, as the scandal surrounding him escalates, his reputation has clearly been tarnished. Point out that your reputation is very important and that you should do everything in your power to keep it intact by behaving responsibly and with integrity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time my husband and I are broke, which seems like too frequently in recent years, he wants us to try what seems to me to be a get-rich-quick scheme that costs money. I have given in a few times because I didn't have a better solution. In the end, though, these schemes usually just end up wasting money. How can I convince him that they are bad ideas? -- Broke and Broken, Denver

DEAR BROKE AND BROKEN: Rather than telling your husband that his idea is bad, come up with a good idea to replace it. Start by finding a free or affordable financial adviser who can help you look at your current state of affairs and make recommendations for how to deal with your debt. Look at your expenses and income together to assess exactly how much you need to add in order to become financially healthy. Then talk about a range of creative ways to make that happen. Ask your husband to brainstorm with you.