DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so embarrassed. As a grown woman, I have started to get acne -- again. I am in menopause, which I have been celebrating, but the last thing I imagined would happen is that I would revert back to my teen years. I shudder at the thought that I will have to go through the trauma I experienced as a teen now that I am over 50. Just remembering those sensitive days makes my stomach hurt. I am single and dating. I don't want to become self-conscious about my face now. OMG! -- Bumpy, Chicago

DEAR BUMPY: I hate to tell you this, but one of the side effects of menopause can be adult-onset acne. Horrible, I know! The good news is you do not have to suffer in pain and shame.

By all means, go to a dermatologist right away. Get a professional evaluation. Your doctor will likely prescribe a way to cleanse your skin along with medication that can help curb your acne.

As with everything in life, each new experience brings ups and downs. Menopause has many surprises for women. Welcome the experience, and get support as you need it. To learn more, read everydayhealth.com/menopause/menopause-and-acne.aspx.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 41-year-old single woman, and I would like to be married by age 43. Some of my friends think I am crazy because I made a hard-line decision. Currently, the prospects are bleak, but I have the faith that I will find my prince. With every cloud there is a silver lining. I have a male friend who is 41 years and single, and I have known him since we were 17 years old. We dated when were very young. We have always kept in touch during our ups and downs, and we remain friends to this day.

I recently called my male friend to check his temperature about relationships and marriage. To my surprise, he was excited about the possibility of marriage. He even included the idea of having children, and I was pleased with our conversation. I made an informal proposition to him, saying if we are still single by the age of 43, we should become a couple. This is a risky move on my part: You do not know whom we may meet in the next two years. But I like him, and I hope it can happen. Should I wait for my prince, or should I keep my head in the clouds? -- Two Years and Counting, Chicago

DEAR TWO YEARS AND COUNTING: I like the idea of a deadline in the sense that it gets you to focus on attaining something that you want so much -- whether it manifests or not. I also like the idea of your childhood friend as a partner -- if the two of you actually like each other in that way.

What I do not like is the two of you thinking about this as a backup plan. Instead, why not start dating and see if you are compatible? Honor your friendship by figuring out if or how it will evolve.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my so-called best friends took a vacation with another of our mutual friends and didn't tell me. I was hanging out with her the day before she went on vacation, and all she said was that she would be out of town for a few days and would catch up with me when she got back. Then I noticed on her Facebook page that she was somewhere on a beach with our other friend. That really hurt my feelings. I can't understand why she wouldn't tell me. I get that friends don't always have to do things together, but why would she keep it a secret from me? What can I say to her without seeming like a baby? -- Unfriended, Philadelphia

DEAR UNFRIENDED: The next time you see your friend, be ready to bring up the subject of the vacation. Do your best to be even-tempered. Start off by asking her how she enjoyed her vacation. Tell her you saw the pictures on Facebook, and it looked like she had a good time. Add that you were surprised to see that she had gone with your other friend and hadn't mentioned it to you. Ask her why she chose not to tell you.

Listen carefully to what she says. Then, be sure to tell her that it hurt your feelings to be excluded from the information. Let her know that you didn't necessarily expect to be invited but that you think of her as your best friend and find it hurtful that she would choose to not tell you.

Depending upon her answer, you will gain insight into how she perceives your friendship, including if she considers you to be as close to her as you thought you were. What will be important for you is to figure out where you stand. By listening carefully, you can do that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In response to the church leadership person who had been hospitalized for two weeks without any of the other church leaders being aware of it, I wonder if perhaps the church member might have not wanted to be visited. If he had, someone in his family certainly could have called. When my husband was in the hospital he really didn't feel like having company. He told the hospital NOT to notify the church. His wishes were respected. -- Private, Chicago

DEAR PRIVATE: You make a good point. Many people wish to maintain privacy when they are ill and/or hospitalized. Managing privacy can be a challenge, especially for some in a leadership role in a church community.

I will add that many churches appoint a particular person to be aware of such situations, and that person keeps such information confidential when requested. In this way, if an individual or family needs support, it can be easily accessed because the lines of communication are already open.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like everybody is up in arms over the George Zimmerman trial and the fact that he was acquitted. People in my neighborhood are talking about it -- screaming about it, really. At work, it is hard to concentrate because so many people are voicing their opinions. It is a little uncomfortable because for the most part, the opinions fall along racial lines. The white people favor Zimmerman, and the black people favor Trayvon Martin. Not all, but many.

I am black, and I have a black son. I am really worried for him. I don't want to be paranoid, but it bothers me a lot that this man killed a black teenager and got away with it. How can I share my opinions, keep my son safe and not get into a heated argument at work? -- Overwhelmed by the News, Shreveport, La.

DEAR OVERWHELMED BY THE NEWS: The George Zimmerman case has awakened many people in our country to some of the deep disparities in thought and law that exist here. Yes, many argue along racial lines, but not everyone. Just witness the huge peaceful rallies that have been conducted across the country. If you look at the faces, they reflect every color.

At work, I would suggest that do your job. Choose to work rather than get into a heated discussion about a topic that, in some ways, is beyond your reach. You can say to your co-workers that you, too, are passionate about this subject, but you are also committed to doing your job. Right now you must focus your attention on that. Apart from work, decide if you want to participate in the many rallies that are being organized or in other ways.

For your son, unfortunately, you do need to teach him to be extremely careful when he is approached by police officers and random others. It is frightening to realize that many young black men are unsafe as soon as they walk outside their doors. But across the country, this is too often true. There have been multiple news reports in the past few days where wealthy, well-educated, well-dressed black men have been pulled over by the police and questioned and arrested for no legitimate reason. And this is when the confrontation is with the law. When the challenge comes from a random citizen, it is even more frightening.

Because this is true, you need to prepare your son to protect himself -- hopefully without instilling too much fear in him in the process. There are no easy answers to this cultural crisis.

You can choose to engage your member of Congress about how to create more protective laws. You can participate in cultural dialogue about this topic -- outside of your workplace. You can follow what Trayvon Martin's parents are doing to attempt to protect young people against the violence that killed their son. To learn more, visit trayvonmartinfoundation.org.