DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like everybody is up in arms over the George Zimmerman trial and the fact that he was acquitted. People in my neighborhood are talking about it -- screaming about it, really. At work, it is hard to concentrate because so many people are voicing their opinions. It is a little uncomfortable because for the most part, the opinions fall along racial lines. The white people favor Zimmerman, and the black people favor Trayvon Martin. Not all, but many.

I am black, and I have a black son. I am really worried for him. I don't want to be paranoid, but it bothers me a lot that this man killed a black teenager and got away with it. How can I share my opinions, keep my son safe and not get into a heated argument at work? -- Overwhelmed by the News, Shreveport, La.

DEAR OVERWHELMED BY THE NEWS: The George Zimmerman case has awakened many people in our country to some of the deep disparities in thought and law that exist here. Yes, many argue along racial lines, but not everyone. Just witness the huge peaceful rallies that have been conducted across the country. If you look at the faces, they reflect every color.

At work, I would suggest that do your job. Choose to work rather than get into a heated discussion about a topic that, in some ways, is beyond your reach. You can say to your co-workers that you, too, are passionate about this subject, but you are also committed to doing your job. Right now you must focus your attention on that. Apart from work, decide if you want to participate in the many rallies that are being organized or in other ways.

For your son, unfortunately, you do need to teach him to be extremely careful when he is approached by police officers and random others. It is frightening to realize that many young black men are unsafe as soon as they walk outside their doors. But across the country, this is too often true. There have been multiple news reports in the past few days where wealthy, well-educated, well-dressed black men have been pulled over by the police and questioned and arrested for no legitimate reason. And this is when the confrontation is with the law. When the challenge comes from a random citizen, it is even more frightening.

Because this is true, you need to prepare your son to protect himself -- hopefully without instilling too much fear in him in the process. There are no easy answers to this cultural crisis.

You can choose to engage your member of Congress about how to create more protective laws. You can participate in cultural dialogue about this topic -- outside of your workplace. You can follow what Trayvon Martin's parents are doing to attempt to protect young people against the violence that killed their son. To learn more, visit trayvonmartinfoundation.org.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend just told me that she and her husband are getting divorced. By the sound of it, the divorce is very messy. Her husband has a lot of money and seems to be wielding his influence in big ways. She says that he has turned most of her friends against her, and she is so sad and fragile. As I listen to her, I can tell that she doesn't know what to do. Neither do I. I want to help her, but I have no idea what happened in their marriage. I am not a lawyer; I am just a friend. What can I do to help her? -- Helpless Friend, Washington, D.C.

DEAR HELPLESS FRIEND: The way to be a good friend is to be a good listener. Make yourself available to talk to her when she is in need. Do not try to give her advice; just hear her. Do not get lured into believing that you are any kind of expert. When she asks you questions you do not know how to answer, acknowledge that you do not know. Remind her that you are there for her as a friend. Suggest that she get an attorney and a therapist -- professionals who can support her in different ways.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My godparents are getting up in age, and I feel bad because I haven't kept in touch with them enough. I got busy with my life, I guess, and time just passed. I learned recently that they both are in not-so-good health. I want to reach out to them, but I am embarrassed because I haven't talked to them much over the years. Do you think it's a good idea to call them anyway? My mom thinks so. I feel weird about it. -- Hesitant, Silver Spring, Md.

DEAR HESITANT: Hesitate no longer. The blessing is that your godparents are still alive. The notion of a godparent is that the person commits to providing you with spiritual support in your life, especially if your parents are ever unable to be there for you. As with parents, that role often flips as godparents grow older. Now it is your turn to be there for these people who committed to you when you were born.

Absolutely do reach out to them right away. No need to feel guilty for the past. Be in the present. Tell them you love them. Inquire about them. Let them reveal whatever they choose about themselves. You do not need to pry about their health or anything else. Just be there.

If you can visit them in person, by all means do that. And make the decision to stay in touch with them regularly now. You cannot change the past, but you can become actively involved in their lives now, for as long as they live.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend from work invited my family and me to come to a picnic at her house last weekend. She has a beautiful house, and it was a lovely party. The problem was that her house is so pristine. I have two young boys, and every time they were in the house my friend was watching them like a hawk to make sure they didn't touch or break anything. I understand that, but it was awkward and uncomfortable. After a while, I just kept them outside. When the party moved indoors, I packed up and left. I did not want to have to monitor their behavior so intensely. It seemed like it was better all around to just go home. The next day at work, my friend told me that she was disappointed that we had left early. I apologized and left it at that. Do you think I should have told her that I left so that she and my kids would be more comfortable? I didn't want to make waves, so I didn't go into detail. -- Tightrope, Cincinnati

DEAR TIGHTROPE: What you did was likely the wisest choice you could make. If the host did not offer a game room or other safe zone where the children could play comfortably, it was smart for you to leave when the house was the only option. Nobody wants to listen to a mother constantly scolding or corralling her children, nor would the host appreciate anything being damaged in her home.

There is also nothing wrong with telling the host the truth. You could have said that you had a wonderful time except for when the children were in the house. You did not feel comfortable having your young boys in a home that was not childproof -- for their benefit and hers. If it comes up again, it would be fine to let her know.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the one in my family who always needs help. As hard as I work, I have had plenty of times when I've needed a loan or some kind of support from them. I am not proud of it at all. I hate being that one that people probably talk about after I leave, calling me pathetic or a waste or something like that. I want to make it up to them, but I am not even working now. I can't pay back anything. I feel like such a failure. I have begun to avoid going to family events, but I think that makes the backlash worse. What can I do to let my family know that I do not mean to be a leech and that I want to make it up to them? I want them to believe me. -- Doubted, Detroit

DEAR DOUBTED: Stop avoiding your family. As uncomfortable as it may be to face them, do it. Go to them and thank them for all of their support over the years. Admit how bad it feels to be in need so frequently. Promise that you will pay them back when you get on your feet. Then, whenever you get a few extra dollars send them their way. A small effort will go a long way.